am I going mad? please help

churchrat

hi
would it be possible for you to write this all down (or as much of it as you want to) and then show your gp the letter??. It may be that once the need to talk about it has gone it becomes possible to finish the phone call to the surgery. many people find it much easier to write "difficult" things than to say them.
you have done the really difficult bit, which is to tell other people (us) how much this has started to control your life, and you should be proud of your self for doing that.
good luck with it all.

Felicia

It sounds petty but I can't write it down, only on computer at work or on this website - not tried any other forum. The computer at work is only accessed by me and its saved in my personal area so n one can access it.

I have tried this and tried speaking and I don't understand what is stopping me or whether it is part of it.

I looked at the sites which are very informative - too much stuff in some cases! and there is a free phone number which I am so despearate to call and again this stupid problem kicks in and stops me.

Does anyone know of an online chat type thing for this sort of area as I think it might be better to start there and hopefully get more help.

I really really want to get help and be able to speak to someone to get help, and it sounds like I'm being childish but I really can't say anything - like I'm struck dumb! I really aprreciate and am grateful for replies I am getting. It is helping

AnnieM_3

Hi,

Just want to say how brave I think you have already been, facing up to your fears!

I've been thinking about this, and wonder if maybe you could copy and paste what you've put on here into a letter to your GP, requesting an appointment. That way your GP would know you need some advice but that you're having difficulty communicating.

You could send it (via recorded mail, FAO your GP, so you'd know it got there and was confidential), that way you've already done the hard part - you've already put it into words on here! Then you would just need to go and talk it through, without having to sit there and force yourself to speak.

Rikki

Felicia wrote: »

It sounds petty but I can't write it down, only on computer at work or on this website - not tried any other forum. The computer at work is only accessed by me and its saved in my personal area so n one can access it.

I have tried this and tried speaking and I don't understand what is stopping me or whether it is part of it.

I looked at the sites which are very informative - too much stuff in some cases! and there is a free phone number which I am so despearate to call and again this stupid problem kicks in and stops me.

Does anyone know of an online chat type thing for this sort of area as I think it might be better to start there and hopefully get more help.

I really really want to get help and be able to speak to someone to get help, and it sounds like I'm being childish but I really can't say anything - like I'm struck dumb! I really aprreciate and am grateful for replies I am getting. It is helping

Copy/print off your first post here and take that to the doctors with you.

You explained what you felt and how it was affecting you very well there.

Felicia

OK well I haved booked an appointment through their booking system so will see if I can get myself to go.

Took me nearly half hour to get to work, but as the sun was not shig=ng at least I didn't have the sun spots to avoid.

it does seem funny when I read back what I have typed, in a way that this whole thing is so odd and I although I can see the funny side of it in what I am doing, when it ocomes to stopping or stopping the panic whilst doing it, thats another thing altogether.

foreversomeday

Hi Felicia

Just wanted to say we are all really proud of you and hope the doctor's visit goes well. Good luck!

monitorsit

Felicia wrote: »

I got into a panic attack today because a double decker bus passed me and the shadow of it went over my foot.

I feel like I am going mad and cannot talk to anyone about this including my partner and family. I tried the samaritans but I couldn't speak to them.

Not sure why I am trying on here but I read this forum a lot and people seem friendly.

Felicia,

You have got a lot of people here all wishing you so well and giving moral suport and that is so nice to see.

I understand what its like. I am just coming out of an awfukl period of anxiety and panic attacks. A feature is i did think i was going mad, i wasnt, and another feature was a loss of confidence and mental strength. I couldnt bring myself to go to the doctor because of that loss of confidence and because i couldn't think strait and even when i did go i wasn't as "demanding" as i should have been, so all i got was a perscription for valium and i didn't have the mental energy to go back and get help. The anxiety and panic attacks wore me down and i got very depressed. I know exactly what it is like to have a panic attack about something and you know it is silly to be panicing over that thing but there is nothing you can do to stop it and it feels terrible and even terrifying. If you can laugh at yourself that always helps!

Is there a lot of stress in your life, or even a low level of stress that has been building and building for years? that ws my problem i think. anyone looking at me would have said i had nothing to be depressed or woried or anxious about just the opposite really.

I just wish i could offer you a one line magic cure but i only wish i could. All i can say is that it can take quite a time but you WILL come out of it. I cant say what might help you because it is probably different for everyone, but for me it was a mix of reducing the things in my life that caused me to get wound up and just grinning it and bearing it.

But PLEASE, for me, go and see your doctor. What you have, ocd or anxiety or depression or a mixture is quite common, there are thousands, millions of people who get something like this at some point in there life so your doctor will understand and be able to offer you the advice that we would all like to give you but we dont know you well enough and we dont have the expertise to really offer advice anyway!

So go along and, if you woudl like to, let us know it goes. we will all do whatever we can to give moral support.

My gues is you have ups and downs. In the ups send a message forwards to yourself to be received when you are down, telling yourself to ride through the down and hang on in there because you will have another up.

Penry

Hello Felicia, Good luck with getting to the GP's. As others have said, you have done really well to make that appointment and though I appreciate it will be hard to get yourself there I hope you find the strenght to do it. If you don't this time, don't be disheartened and please try again.

I have googled and found this site which has an online forum that might be helpful to you www.ocduk.org . Also, if you want to try the samaritans again, the do have an email service through their website www.samaritans.org . They email you back in 24 hours, and maybe that would help you make the next step talking on the phone?

Best wishes

Pssst

Felicia...when people have a physical illness like a cut,a broken leg,flu or whatever..its much more acceptable and the norm. The symptoms are almost always immediately obvious and sympathy and good wishes flow easily and smoothly from friends and acquaintances.

Mental illnesses are completely different and there is still a great lack of understanding and stigma attahced to it.
Even the words sound ugly...mental illness. Sometimes they are spat out as an insult to others..your mental..mental this that or the other.

The mind if one of those areas which still has many dark,unexplored and poorly understood areas.

I'm a bit mental myself..I tell my partner sometimes..she just thinks I'm joking..!

What you need to do is to be able to freely express yourself and discuss your issues and thoughts with other individuals whom you dont know but who will understand,consider,empathise and maybe help you understand or come to a realisation as to what the issues and possible solutions are.

Have you checked out MIND on the internet? It may be that you will be able to speak to them in confidence...dont worry too much about it. I think we all wobble a bit from time to time. I am quite happy to say that I do..so thats two of us already. Anyone else ?

ailuro2

Pssst....it's a lot more common than we realise...mental health problems can affect anyone, from any walk of life, at any time in our lives, no one is immune.

Thankfully there is a lot of help available when things start to affect everyday living, I have been there and done that with PND and SAD, and tried to be open and honest about it. I got great help from my GP, who also ran test for underlying causes behind the symptoms.

It's what we pay NI for, might as well take the services offered.

Be brave, Felicia, good luck with your appointment. Start running through it in your head now - the journey there, the waiting room etc, and practise slowing your breathing as you do it, then it will seem more familiar when you get there.;)