want to end marriage

sarah1980

cazziebo wrote: »

OP - it's almost impossible to get a council house unless you are actually homeless.

This may be true, but you could possibly get enough housing benefit to be able to rent privately. My brother's wife left him a year ago, she wanted nothing to do with their 2 children (age 6 months and 2 yrs at the time). he couldn't work because he had to children to take care of, so he had to sell the house (his ex had moved out and was unwilling to pay maintenance despite now working FT).

He went to the CAB, they were really helpful and told him all the forms he should complete for benefits. He received enough HB to rent a 2-bed house for him and kids, and got a weekend job when we (family) would look after kids.

A year down the line, his ex is paying £100 per month (for 2 kids! But hey, it's better than nothing), brother works PT 3 days p/w and thus off Income Support with kids in nursery 3 days p/w and they see their Mum every other Saturday.

He doesn't have loads of spare cash but in the short-term the benefits he did get were really good and the house they have is lovely and in a nice area.

yoni_one

You can get advice from Rights of Women, go to https://www.row.org.uk

Best wishes for a happy future.

shockingmoment

Your opening line was 'want out'. Your title is 'Want to end marriage'. There's a difference between 'want' and 'need'. Too many people too easily disregard their marriage vows because they 'want' to, and not need to.

Marriage is fast becoming a throwaway commodity, like an out of date mobile phone, in this throw away society.

The Benefit System is there as a safety net for those in need. It should be structured to make it as uncomfortable as possible, for as short as possible. It shouldn't be a life style choice (as it is for many thousands of parasites in this country).

What to do first?

Pretend there's no benefits. Then decide on how to proceed.

sassybooboos

for your information i am not ending this marriage lightly. have been married for 6yrs together for 10yrs.
i have been trying to make it work for at least 3yrs.

I dont think someone depending on benefits to get out of a difficult situation is wrong. (especially when there are people who have been on it 20yrs and work on the side).
i have just got myself a job so i will now be saving for a deposit for a flat.

i just want to thank everyone for their good and helpful advice.

and to the people who have obviously never had any personal or financial problems, and find it great pleasure to dictate, keep your opinions to yourself, they are neither helpful or wanted.

shockingmoment wrote: »

Your opening line was 'want out'. Your title is 'Want to end marriage'. There's a difference between 'want' and 'need'. Too many people too easily disregard their marriage vows because they 'want' to, and not need to.

Marriage is fast becoming a throwaway commodity, like an out of date mobile phone, in this throw away society.

The Benefit System is there as a safety net for those in need. It should be structured to make it as uncomfortable as possible, for as short as possible. It shouldn't be a life style choice (as it is for many thousands of parasites in this country).

What to do first?

Pretend there's no benefits. Then decide on how to proceed.

Hodgehappy

I wish you every luck in getting something sorted in your life esp if you have always worked so have put something into the system. Its those that haven't that I hear about getting this that that gets my back up.:mad:

shockingmoment

This is an open forum. You post, you get replies.

You were quite clear in your original post that it was a want rather than a need. Benefits are for those in need, although, as you point out, there are a significant number of people who want the benefit lifestyle.

What do you want to do - have all the replies sent to you so that you can vet them, and then publish only the ones you like?

Just because it's not what you want to hear doesn't make it right or wrong.

I'm entitled, as much as you are, to post my views. If you don't want to hear things you may not like - don't post!

swiss69

I dont know how people can judge this persons decision without knowing any of the facts.

I was a child in a relationship that was never loving and always hostile and to be honest wish my parents would have split up. rather than stay together for the sake of the children. Being one of the children I am not grateful for their decision as they completely tossed their lives away!

shockingmoment

swiss69 wrote: »

I dont know how people can judge this persons decision without knowing any of the facts.

Just remind me - who's judging?