Marriage over don't know where to start

SuziQ

Gonna get flamed for this-but why shouldn't DFS buy himself clothes? You have said yourself you have spent money on yourself,just seems a bit unfair,if you push him too hard like this he will rebel and could just retaliate by putting all his money into a seperate account.
Didn't you say before he had never really spent much on himself?

TBH I wish my ex WOULD spend something on himself as he looks like a tramp at the moment. He doesn't even get his hair cut regularly,and as he is going really bald you can imagine what the comb over looks like!

JC67

Have continued to follow this thread to see how you are all doing.

Kizzy I think what you're going through is quite normal as you've had a huge emotional upset which is bound to have an effect on you! I also used Bachs Rescue Remedy and felt it did help.

This is a song I listened to loads when I was having problems with my husband (still listen to it when I feel a bit down).

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=cqZopQM2450&feature=related

Just remember there are people out here who are thinking of you and I'm sure this thread has helped lots of people.

SuziQ

Forgot to say Kizzy-as someone else on here already said,please be careful with your benefit applications and the fact you are still using DFS's money. It IS classed as income and could make you inelegible for IS and affect your CTC amount.
Only his half of the mortgage is discounted-I now have this in writing as I specifically asked the question when someone on here told me I had been told wrong by the CAB. Both CTC and IS have sent me confirmation,and I am waiting to hear from CTB. As our mortgage still hasn't been paid and my ex has given NOTHING I am ok and can prove it,but he is liable for his half of the mortgage arrears and his half of the mortgage in the future(our mortgage is in joint names,if it was solely in his he could pay it all,but then of course he could have evicted me!)

scottishfreebiehunter

kizzykizzywizzy wrote: »

OMG - the facebook one looks bad enough airbrushed to hell by photographer - should be done under trades description act!! as the other ones are awful!!
Do these men lose thier eyesight as well as thier pants

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:and you aint joking:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

scottishfreebiehunter

SuziQ wrote: »

Forgot to say Kizzy-as someone else on here already said,please be careful with your benefit applications and the fact you are still using DFS's money. It IS classed as income and could make you inelegible for IS and affect your CTC amount.
Only his half of the mortgage is discounted-I now have this in writing as I specifically asked the question when someone on here told me I had been told wrong by the CAB. Both CTC and IS have sent me confirmation,and I am waiting to hear from CTB. As our mortgage still hasn't been paid and my ex has given NOTHING I am ok and can prove it,but he is liable for his half of the mortgage arrears and his half of the mortgage in the future(our mortgage is in joint names,if it was solely in his he could pay it all,but then of course he could have evicted me!)

OMG so glad I aint in England as mortgage in his name and it doesnt matter here if married or not as in Scots law the parent of child etc etc etc not sure of all detail cannot be made homeless ,lots of jargon with it just basics

They are all total scumbags for sure

Mine just been on phone Kizzy chatting as if we are pals:rolleyes:

Rikki

SuziQ wrote: »

Forgot to say Kizzy-as someone else on here already said,please be careful with your benefit applications and the fact you are still using DFS's money. It IS classed as income and could make you inelegible for IS and affect your CTC amount.
Only his half of the mortgage is discounted-I now have this in writing as I specifically asked the question when someone on here told me I had been told wrong by the CAB. Both CTC and IS have sent me confirmation,and I am waiting to hear from CTB. As our mortgage still hasn't been paid and my ex has given NOTHING I am ok and can prove it,but he is liable for his half of the mortgage arrears and his half of the mortgage in the future(our mortgage is in joint names,if it was solely in his he could pay it all,but then of course he could have evicted me!)

I have some bad news for you on the mortgage front.

You are both joint and severally liable. It doesn't matter who pays it has to be paid in full each month. The payment and the arrears are not split in half in the eyes of the bank/building society.

I got lumped with the whole mortgage from the day my ex walked out.

gerturdeanna

My OH is paying the mortgage himself, its joint names and IS have told me that is ok as long as he pays it directly to the mortgage people and not through me. Am still waiting to hear if I've got my IS. And my CTC giro hasn't turned up yet - have £3 in my purse and a suprise 21st to go to tonight!!
At least cupboards are full of food -all beit Asda Smartprice!!

kizzykizzywizzy

SuziQ wrote: »

Gonna get flamed for this-but why shouldn't DFS buy himself clothes? You have said yourself you have spent money on yourself,just seems a bit unfair,if you push him too hard like this he will rebel and could just retaliate by putting all his money into a seperate account.
Didn't you say before he had never really spent much on himself?

TBH I wish my ex WOULD spend something on himself as he looks like a tramp at the moment. He doesn't even get his hair cut regularly,and as he is going really bald you can imagine what the comb over looks like!

The reason I don't want him buying clothes is he used money he could have topped his phone up with to call his children!
Also whilst away - he had all food etc paid for in his job, but spent £700 in 4 & 1/2 months when he hardly went ashore, so was obviously taking the moose out for meals - paying for hotels whilst ashore etc, while me & the kids had £50 a week for everything.
I haven't bought myself hardly anything the whole time he was away, my clothes are all old - he came home & bought loads of clothes to take back - for moose to see him in I expect - he also threw out perfectly good jeans as the pockets had holes in - sew them up lazy git!
as for not spending on himself - sorry you've got the wrong end of the stick - since this he hasn't but he is the spendthrift & acts like a spoilt brat until I give in.
You won't get flamed by me - you've just reminded me of yet more of his character flaws;)

gerturdeanna

scottishfreebiehunter wrote: »

Mine just been on phone Kizzy chatting as if we are pals:rolleyes:

Who your ex or the mortgage people?!?!?

trancebabe

Rikki's right... you sign up for it and are responsible for it!

The money lenders don't care if you split the payments or whatever... they just want the wonga back