I'm sorry, I'm letting everyone down.

ANY_CHANCE · 24 July 2008 at 11:52AM

(Land_of)_Maz wrote: »

I agree that IA's story with it's ups and downs is an inspiration and a relief to others when they see she is the same as the rest of us... i.e. fallible.

The issue and the reason she feels miffed is because she feels she is slagged off for doing anything wrong....

Well no, i kinda think that if i was good friends with someone in "real life" and i didn't think their choices were good ones, then i would say something... i wouldn't expect to be called a troll for expressing a different opinion in real life, so why on here? Not saying i've ever been called a troll, but y'know what i mean!

What value is there in saying, yeah you've got debt you're working bloody hard to pay it off, you're struggling week to week financially but yeah why don't you buy yourself a new console, or a tattoo or whatever.... a friend would say "well are you sure this is a good idea now." "Can you afford it really?"

I think if you give over everything about yourself on here, good and bad, then people assume that you want them to comment on it all, so they do.

I know some people are being argumentative for the sake of it but it isn't everyone who expresses an opinion who is doing it outta badness... usually the trolls are easy to spot (and are illiterate!)

Sorry if i'm repeating myself, but if the thread is still on P1, then i thought it would be good to get it back on topic. ( Snaggles!! )

I think it is good if we have different opinions, i wouldnt expect everyone to agree with what i do however what i object to is how advice is given.
We are all individuals, this is a good thing but i feel that there are those who take the moral highground and like to look down on others in order to make themselves feel better. Giving destructive not constructive advice.

wannabespendthrift · 24 July 2008 at 12:35PM

ANY_CHANCE wrote: »

I think it is good if we have different opinions, i wouldnt expect everyone to agree with what i do however what i object to is how advice is given.
We are all individuals, this is a good thing but i feel that there are those who take the moral highground and like to look down on others in order to make themselves feel better. Giving destructive not constructive advice.

Hi AC

If this is a general comment then of course I agree with you.

If this is a comment addressed specifically about the last few pages of IA's diary then really I can't see where the advice became 'destructive'. There may well have been horrible PMs or something which I don't know about and there was certainly one post which helped nobody (you didn't earn it, you don't deserve it etc. etc.) and that I think was just flaming for the sake of it. The vast majority of the posts were it seemed to me (mine included) meant with the best of intentions and in answer to a question asked. Personally, I'll know better the next time

I'm way more of a lurker than a poster on these forums but whilst we shouldn't be nasty for the sake of it by any means surely we don't need to go to the opposite end of the spectrum where we don't post anything unless its in blind agreement with the asker?xx

Flux_capacitor_2 · 24 July 2008 at 12:37PM

Going O/T now but you can sometimes get \/\/ankers past the filters like this \ / \ /

Timmne · 24 July 2008 at 12:58PM

Apologies for this being my first comment on the matter (I looked in yesterday but didn't post) and it not being a pat on the back post....

I just fail to see why we're a) getting people 'resigning' from a forum and b) why IA resigned and then came back to post a load more posts!

If one is going to 'resign' in the first place, why not actually resign?

It's all a bit melodramatic to me!

ANY_CHANCE · 24 July 2008 at 1:03PM

wannabespendthrift wrote: »

Hi AC

If this is a general comment then of course I agree with you.

If this is a comment addressed specifically about the last few pages of IA's diary then really I can't see where the advice became 'destructive'. There may well have been horrible PMs or something which I don't know about and there was certainly one post which helped nobody (you didn't earn it, you don't deserve it etc. etc.) and that I think was just flaming for the sake of it. The vast majority of the posts were it seemed to me (mine included) meant with the best of intentions and in answer to a question asked. Personally, I'll know better the next time

I'm way more of a lurker than a poster on these forums but whilst we shouldn't be nasty for the sake of it by any means surely we don't need to go to the opposite end of the spectrum where we don't post anything unless its in blind agreement with the asker?xx

Absolutely i agree with you we all need people to kindly keep us in check in my opinion thats fine, I havnt read IA diary so my comments were not directed at that but more to the cutting comments that you see, you know the ones i mean like post above this IMO = unhelpful :rolleyes:

ZTD · 24 July 2008 at 1:07PM

fermi wrote: »

Scunthorpe sometimes doesn't get filtered.

But it's best if it is...

Snaggles · 24 July 2008 at 1:11PM

I know I can't speak for IA, but I don't think it was that 'everyone was picking on her' as such, it was more that there were one or two posts that were (or perhaps, came across as) very judgemental. I'm sure IA can usually cope with the 'are you sure that's a good idea' type comments (and usually replies with details of her plan to repay whatever it is).

When there are a couple of not very supportive replies on a thread, it can sometimes read as though the whole thread is like that. I'm not sure why. But imagine a spelling test where you got 9 out of 10 right......I know that I would be completely ignoring the 9 I'd got right, and fretting over the one I got wrong. Maybe it's the same with posts?

And remember that emotions were running very high for IA at that particular time - she had just completed her Race for Life in a fantastic time, in memory of, and inspired by her Mum. Her reward to herself was the tattoo, again in memory of her Mum (and to celebrate being a Mum to 2 gorgeous girls herself), so any criticism, or even perceived criticism of that would have really hurt like hell.

Tell her that they are spending too much money on consoles for Ste and she will usually stand up for him a bit, but roll her eyes and kind of agree. But tell her she shouldn't be having the thing she has worked so hard for, and invested so much emotion in, and completely understandably she will be devastated.

Sorry IA if I'm misreading it, or putting words in your mouth, but from an outsiders perspective, that was my understanding of what happened.

Really glad to see you sneaking back in (even if it WAS only to tell me off :rolleyes:

).....hope to see you back again soon.

xxx

elantan · 24 July 2008 at 1:16PM

i love your signature snaggs

earwig · 24 July 2008 at 1:19PM

the thing is ia did ask what people thought of the tatoo thing and she didnt get the answer she wanted it dosnt mean the people who was against the tatoo thing was against ia it was just that she asked a question and they gave there answer i personaly think she shouldnt of asked any one permisson to get it done if it was that important to her as you leave your self wide open to get hurt