Breast feeding, pros and cons

surreysaver

neverdespairgirl wrote: »

The most important element of co-sleeping as far as my definition was concerned was not having to get out of bed at 4am :rotfl:

Well, if the most important thing to you is your sleep, then I pity your baby!

RoxieW

surreysaver wrote: »

What insult?

Calling people who rightly think that breast is best hippies is an insult. It's an attitude that tends to come out of the woodwork if you do breastfeed. However, when someone can't breastfeed then they shouldn't be made to feel bad or pressurised - we all do the best that we can and thats all we can do.

RoxieW

surreysaver wrote: »

Well, if the most important thing to you is your sleep, then I pity your baby!

Oh dear, things are getting a bit nasty now! Show me any new mother who doesn't crave sleep and I'll show you a superhuman!

Nicki

surreysaver wrote: »

Well, if the most important thing to you is your sleep, then I pity your baby!

I think this just goes to show that it isn't always the "breast-feeding hippies" who look down on other mums and consider themselves to be superior!

* spoken as a hippy myself!

daphne_descends

I assure you that these nursing mothers are not hippies

JimmyTheWig

Puts you in a slightly difficult position.
If the dad was encouraging the mum to give formula milk when she wasn't too sure then I'd say he needs taking outside and shooting.
But this way around is a little more tricky.

You obviously want what is right for your baby and it's clear that what is right (in the vast majority of cases) is the method of feeding that evolved, via survival of the fittest, over many thousands of years. Of course you are going to want to argue against something that could cause harm to your baby.

But at the end of the day it is still your partner's body that has to do it, after it being your partner's body that has had to carry the baby for 9 months. You can't force her into doing it if she doesn't want to.

I think that you are absolutely doing the right thing by thinking about it now. Throughout pregnancy (and before) you have images of looking after your baby. If those images are bottlefeeding and then at the last minute someone suggests that breast is best it is difficult to change your mind. The earlier you can get this sorted the better, before the emotions and everything else start making things more complicated.

Were you breastfed?
Was your partner?

Would it help if your partner spoke to other breastfeeding mums? I think this may hold much more weight than speaking to a professional (or speaking to you) about it. Maybe there are breastfeeding groups in your area that your partner could go to? (Round here, for example, we have a "baby cafe" which is run by health visitor breast feeding councillors. Mums can drop in and feed, chat, discuss any issues, bring lunch, etc. A mum to be would be most welcome.)

I guess all you can do is to show your partner that you will give her all the support she needs to help. With our first, I stayed up with my (then) fiancee during the night feeds. That, to us, was helpful support. With our younger two I got the baby when she woke and brought her to my wife. I then slept when she fed. That meant that I was then awake enough to deal with the kids first thing in the morning when my wife could catch up on sleep. Also with DD2 I had the "late evening" shift of pacing the living room floor when she wouldn't sleep but my wife could.
My point is that the decission to breastfeed wasn't a case of palming the baby off on my wife to give me an easy life. It was about being parents together. There's still plenty for the dad to do!

Broken_hearted

daphne_descends wrote: »

I assure you that these nursing mothers are not hippies

I'm sorry but yuck., some mothers do get very pompus about BF and its those that pee off other mothers.

Breastfeeding when it worked was a nice experience and I often fell asleep with the baby still happily feeding away, but it was slow and very tiring. My last ever feed was upsetting only because it was the end of a chapter of my life, I certainly won't miss the leaky boob, long feeds, isolation and shame others impose on you.

neverdespairgirl

surreysaver wrote: »

Well, if the most important thing to you is your sleep, then I pity your baby!

Is there any mother of a newborn who isn't tired? If so, I've not yet met her!

In any event, it was my definition of co-sleeping (not getting out of bed) not a reference to my priorities.

nadnad

i cant believe that this thread has turned into a slanging match between mothers. everyone rears their children the best way they know how, I breast fed (still am) and some of my friends and others didn't. While I feel it is best for baby, I would never ever ridicule anyone who chose not to. I feel that the UK is far behind other european countries in the attitude towards breastfeeding which is why the rates here are so low. For a long long time mothers were encouraged to bottle feed and this has only changed recently so opinions are likely to take even longer to change.

For those here who aren't breast feeding but have struck out against breast feeding mothers I think thats terrible. Everyone knows it is best for baby so I see no reason to ridicule or be nasty about it. As I've said in a previous post it is best for baby but not always for the mummy so anyone who chooses not to BF that is their perogative, and anyone who slags off FF that is also not fair.

Its a personal issue and many women dont feel comfortable with it. A guy came on here asking for advice and pros and cons which is what he got at the start and now the whole thread has been hi jacked into a slanging match. Get over yourselves ladies and give it a rest.

suzieq

I have 2 gorgeous DDs, one of whom I bfed for 12 long, arduous weeks, and the other who is 8 months, still going strong, and we're both loving it.

I have seen the experience from both sides of the coin, have been through nipple confusion, pain, thrush, blanching and mastitis (between both DDs). I think any mother who manages to give her baby any breastmilk at all should be applauded. :T

For me personally, I never really got on with BFing with my first DD, hence why I think I threw in the towel at 12 weeks (and was absolutely the right decision for us then), though I was very proud of having given her my milk for almost 3 mths. With DD2, I fell in love with BFing around 6 weeks, and although we've had at least 5 mths of thrush, 2 bouts of mastitis, and a period of blanching too, the difference was that I would have done anything to continue feeding, for me, the benefits far outweighed the pain.

It is a wonderful thing we have available to give to our babies, and even the smallest amount has massive health benefits to both Mother and baby.

There is no denying that breastmilk is absolutely superior to formula, however, each Mother is entitled to make their own choices based on their own life, and situation, and this should be respected.

I will always advocate BFing, hope that it becomes the 'default' way of feeding, and give as much information and support as I can to anyone who wants it, but I would never, ever berate anyone for choosing not to/not to continue BFing.

The biggest problems affecting BF in this country are lack of support, and lack of information, and if you can help your lovely lady with both of those lincsdan86 (if she wants you to), then you'll go a long way towards helping her be a successful BFer.

Broken_hearted wrote: »

I'm sorry but yuck

What did you mean by this?