Stressed, Depressed & Seeing No end in sight

brody77

This is true. One is the Mrs, one is my dad...

Verbatim

Hi Brody,

Have you moved yet? Hope it's going OK. Have you had a chance to see online what free courses learn direct have?

Try not to get too down. Once you're properly in and have your new soa worked out you'll be able to make progress on the debt busting. You should get tax credits and child benefit too. Did you have a look on the entitledto website?

brody77

I don't know how much more I can take.
She's looking for money to pay the rent & I have £140 til the 26th - with 2 bills still to pay (£45 & £70).
I'm at wits end here.

brody77

Morning all,
So endured a sleepless night, have my OH not talking to me, and feel at a new all time low.
I have £140 in the bank, with 2 bills due to come off as above (£40 & £70) and £28 on my mastercard.

She's looking for rent money - I never thought I'd say this, but I feel like throwing in the towel.
Life shouldn't be like this.

I've asked over and over for a list of all our bills and she doesn't bother her *rs*. It feels like she's using our daughter as an excuse not to do anything, and she's still round at her mums all the flaming time.

I don't get paid til the 26th and I've no idea how I'm gonna make it. I don't even know how I'm gonna get to work from Monday.

Ebays out the window due to them being !!!!!!, and there don't seem to be any car boot sales near me, not that I could get much stuff in my clio.

colnkits

((brody77))
I think you're going to have to broach the subject with your folks and see if they can now take the repayments over.
They probably just haven't realised you still have some ouitstanding on it?
Also get in touch with CCCS or similar and see if you can get help negotiating repayment plans on the loans and CC's.
Are you sure you've claimed all of the benefits you're entitled to?
Is your OH working? I know she's not speaking to you - but does she know the full situation? if not might be worth suggesting sitting down and doing a joint SOA for the flat and seeing what you can come up with to share the load?

brody77

colnkits wrote: »

((brody77))
I think you're going to have to broach the subject with your folks and see if they can now take the repayments over.
They probably just haven't realised you still have some ouitstanding on it?
Also get in touch with CCCS or similar and see if you can get help negotiating repayment plans on the loans and CC's.
Are you sure you've claimed all of the benefits you're entitled to?
Is your OH working? I know she's not speaking to you - but does she know the full situation? if not might be worth suggesting sitting down and doing a joint SOA for the flat and seeing what you can come up with to share the load?

I'm trying to get a joint SOA done - another worry is we haven't heard from the council tax people yet.
We only moved in 2 weeks ago, but had the keys since 2nd June - the flat was unfit to live in and the council had left hospital bedding & stuff there. Can the council tax make us pay from the day we got the keys?

As far as I know we can only get the child benefit?
What's cccs?

I haven't spoken to my folks, they are on holiday at the moment, but the last thing I need is them looking at me as failure again.
I don't see how I can fairly ask them to pay off the loan I took to help them out.

adelegalla

Hi Brody,
I am a lurker on here usually but felt I had to write in. I am also a weegie and feel for your predicament. I was in a worse place than I am now 2 years ago and thanks to these pages I got the confidence to sort it out. First things first you arent a failure, truth is you have a good heart and you stood up to the plate to help your father when he was in trouble, even though you could barely afford it yourself, now it is time to for your dad/family to help you. If they think you are a failure so be it, let them think that, you are only a failure if you do nothing about it. You need to speak to your g/f, let her sulk if she must, but you must talk to her and tell her the truth about the situation. If you dont you are heading for some sort of mental breakdown and that will be no use to anybody. How old is your daughter? can your g/f get a part time job? If her mother isnt working can she help with the childcare if your g/f gets a job? Another thing is your job. There is nothing worse than being in a job you hate, it will bring you done further and further. What sort of field do you work in? Is it a call centre? Look for something else, I have some ideas if you are interested. First thing would be to look at getting some of those cards into 0% interest accounts, if we cant do that then contact the ccc's (credit card companies). Read some of the stories of the other debt free wanabees, there are a lot worse off than you and they are actually doing it, so dont feel alone, it will get better, you have taken the first step to sorting it out for good. Sorry for rabbling. A

Uniscots97

brody77 wrote: »

This is true. One is the Mrs, one is my dad...

Birthdays don't have to be fancy. For your other half, what about a pamper package? MSE style, bottle of bubble bath (pound shop or semi chem), some little tea light candles (pound shop again), little box of chocolates (Aldi, Lidl etc do some nice one), pamper vouchers (hand written by you promising her a massage, a few hours to herself etc etc), and cava is only 2 quid in Lidl. I'm sure this little lot wouldn't come to much and you other half would feel really spoiled. I've just said to my other half, its not how much you spend its the thought that goes into the gift thats more important.

Uniscots97

brody77 wrote: »

I'm trying to get a joint SOA done - another worry is we haven't heard from the council tax people yet.
We only moved in 2 weeks ago, but had the keys since 2nd June - the flat was unfit to live in and the council had left hospital bedding & stuff there. Can the council tax make us pay from the day we got the keys?

As far as I know we can only get the child benefit?
What's cccs?

I haven't spoken to my folks, they are on holiday at the moment, but the last thing I need is them looking at me as failure again.
I don't see how I can fairly ask them to pay off the loan I took to help them out.

If the flat was uninhabitable then no the council can't make you pay from the day you got the keys. Chase this up with them.

The CAB will be able to help you out regarding your rights also with information regarding CCCS and any other options as well as helping you check out what benefits you are entitled to although you could try entitledto.com (I think thats right, if not someone will correct me), there you can put in your figures and it'll tell you what you are due back. What about working tax credits, maybe I'm wrong but I think you should be entitled to them too.

Not sure why you and your other half aren't speaking but for your sake you need to open up to her how you're feeling. Also I know its difficult talking to your parents as you took the loan out to help them, but your situation has changed dramatically. I'm sure they won't want to see you stressing out like this. Talk to them, I think you might be surprised.

brody77

TBH, the birthdays are now right out the window.

I looked through the pages here for cccs - I don't think I want to go down that path yet though, as it means I can't get any credit til I'm sorted (prob sounds really stupid, right?)

I think I just need to take the loan on the chin - it was my choice at the end of the day.

Getting a new job would be great, but hard to find anything I'm qualified in - I work in a back office/light calls environment.

Our little one is 13 weeks old - mum is on maternity 1/2 pay just now, but her mum will be babysitting for us once my OH goes back to work.

Tried in vain to get a loan and a 0% card for balance transfers - maybe my credit is messed up (I did have an apparent attempt by someone to open an account under my name)

I'm at a loss....