Merry - Ramblings of an undischarged bankrupt!

Merry_Gentry

Update on Merry and her band of lil Ladies!! : am waiting to hear outcome of housing benefit claim. Need it sorted asap as H is not happy with the current financial situation, and feels that it's not fair the amount he pays. Once I get the housing benefit sorted out, I can cover 4/5ths of everything in the house which would be for me and the girls, and he can just pay the 1/5 for him.

Spoke to the OR on Friday, and she has said she will be sending a new SOA for me to complete, and also one for H. As most of my income will be benefits, it's unlikely I will get a IPA, but H will have quite a surplus income so they will be looking into that.

He knows all of this - we did talk about it - but I think he just feels that at the moment he's paying for the upkeep of me and the girls when we're no longer together, and it's rubbing him up the wrong way.

Have looked into getting a private rental for me and the girls, but unfortunately due to the BR they would be looking for six months rent in advance, which I simply don't have Not being funny, but if I had enough money to pay down six months rent in advance, I wouldn't have gone bankrupt!! :rolleyes::rolleyes: Nothing about a council house, which I am not surprised about - I would imagine the list is huge!! :eek:

Four months into the bankruptcy. Yes, it is definitely restrictive but I am still better off emotionally, so feel that I did the right thing. Watch this space!

dalip

Lovely to hear from you merry. So sorry your OH is being such an a**hole. Keep your chin up girl.It's his loss not yours. If your house is rented can he not find somewhere else to live and leave you and your girls there. He seems to be in a better financial situation than you and more able to move out and rent elsewhere.DX

Merry_Gentry

Hey honey!!!

Not really. His sister is the guarantor, and he would have the same problem in terms of finding six months rent, etc. I don't think he's trying to be an a**hole, just that his view on the situation is different to mine. He's not happy with what we originally agreed to do - get through this year then split money, etc, and I can understand that. I think he's being short-sighted, but that's his right I guess

dalip

Sometimes i think you are too nice for your own good but then it is easy for me to say that:o .

I stuck with a abusive OH for 10 years before i saw the light of day and even then i was more than "nice" splitting debts down the middle ect. So i know where you are coming from honestly. Even now 19 yrs later would help him if he needed it and he has been a real a**hole over the years.xx

Merry_Gentry

Me nice?!! Never - I just believe in doing the right thing for me and my girls - I'm no-one's conscience but my own!

december

Sorry to hear things still aren't sorted out Merry I sincerely hope things start to get better soon.

Take care
December

Merry_Gentry

Thanks December :hello:

Merry_Gentry

Monday 29th September 2008

Off work with a leurgy. Fever, chills, sneezing - I look grey, am sweaty faced, and generally not good. Finally opened my post to find another letter from Housing Benefit people asking for more information. So far I have provided payslips, copy of BR statement, voluntary repossession details, bank account statements. I think they have no idea how to cope with the situation, so are asking for everything.

Now they want to know how H and I have separated the household so that we are living separate lives. Is a bit weird seeing it in writing - very cold and matter of fact, when it's our lives we're talking about.

Anyway, need to send that to them tomorrow, and contact the Co-Op to get them to confirm in writing what bank accounts I have access to. So even though all I want to do is sleep, I must make sure I get up tomorrow and get all of that info into the post and get onto the phone.

Am feeling a tad weary, and that's before I get my new SOA request from the OR. I had to inform her of some changes in circumstances, so of course she wants a new I&E form.

Sorry to be on such a downer - I do try and stay upbeat but sometimes I just feel beaten down.

betterlatethannever

Merry, you really have had a lot to deal with lately, yet seem to manage it with an energy i can only dream of.

I hope your feeling better soon and try and take some time out for yourself. Easier said than done, i know, but if you don't look after yourself then no one else will.

All the best x

Merry_Gentry

Thanks BLTN. Keep telling myself to plot out some time to myself - am hoping to go visit my Marmee the weekend after next - oh, that would be so so lovely!!!