Guess whose back!? The Return Diary

CAFCGirl

ARGH!
My mince didnt defrost.... took it out and thought our flat was too warm, so i put it in the fridge but apparently that was a no no and its still solid..... pants end to a totally pants day.

Had a colleague from another store phone me this morning and just be a totally insensitive ar$s.. theres no other words for it.
He basically phoned to tell me (because he wanted me to hear it from him, and not in an email- whatever?!) that his wife is pregnant, not only that, but shes exactly 7 weeks pregnant (which is when our pregnancy stopped!)....

I understand part of his reasoning but jesus christ I have been back at work for 3 weeks and he thinks thats reasonable!!!! He wont even be telling the company till shes 3 months, so why couldnt he have phoned me then?!

Honestly Im flitting between being so upset and being so angry with him!!!!
I just cant believe his insensitivity, he even said he wanted to tell me because of my miscarriage when everyone in the company had been asked (by my line manager) not to ask me about it!
He's so selfish!!!!

Im not angry that his wife is pregnant, Im happy for them (really I am ) but what I am angry about is that he did this to make him feel better, not for me, and now Im angry that Im back to feeling like total !!!!!! and he's put me 5 steps back and I'd been doing really well,.....

just...... AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Purpleroses

ok what an utter tw@! thats all that can be said about him.

any plans for the weekend?

PeachPickle

Oh chick, what a rotten thing to happen. He probably thought he was doing the right thing, doesn't stop it being incredibly insensitive tho! Big hugs x

CAFCGirl

The ultra annoying thing is that he said he really needed to tell someone, her mum and his know, and im the 3rd to know so i should feel privileged and hes really happy to have told someone....

OH REALLY? COZ IM F&CKING NOT!!!!
Tell someone else, tell your brother, your work mates, your next door neighbours dog for christ sake, you dont go telling someone who 4 weeks to the day miscarried their first child, and make them into your confidante!

Honestly I just want to break down in tears, barely held it together when I got off the phone... I honestly did mean congratulations to him, and DH keeps telling me im too nice to people and I should have told him how I felt but I was so shocked that he was telling me that its only when I got off the phone that it hit me...
I know Im probably just being hormonal and emotional over it, so I feel guilty for that, but as my girl at work told me today (she lost a baby too) I am not responsible right now for how other people feel,think or what they do, my priority is me, and my husband and how we feel..... so Im angry that his actions have made me revert to caring about how my reaction to it is unfair on him!

Im typing like a mad woman coz im so upset and poor hubby is just watching me bawl my eyes out typing on a laptop now and im just so angry that I feel like this, and that I feel like he is to blame! (colleague not husband)

DH has told me to make a complaint because everyone was specifically asked (in the nicest way) to be supportive and patient with me whilst I am back at work due to our loss, and this is his version of support... but I dont feel like ive got the right now to be upset, physically its happened and its past.. I just hate that now Im all over the place again and I was feeling better and like i was coping and now its like my whole world has just come crashing down again.....

Purpleroses

of course you have the right to be upset, you can't put a time-limit on how long it takes to heal. he should have known better than to say these things to you. if you don't make a complaint maybe you should tell him how it upset you so he at least knows.

have some dodgy hugs :grouphug: :grouphug:

CAFCGirl

dodgy ones actually help more than regular ones....

Im just flitting between being angry and hurt, i am tempted to send him an email, explaining after the shock, i would rather not discuss anymore of it with him, nowt personal but it affects my personal recovery

but then part of me just wants to tell him hes a absolute !!!!!!

spud30

Ohh love, have a couple from me too :grouphug: :grouphug:

The !!!!!! definitely needs to be told. I fear he will carry on talking to you about it if he isnt put straight :rolleyes:

CAFCGirl

Good point.

Im not back in my store to discuss it till tuesday which gives me a bit of time to calm down and rehearse my angle....

Still tempted to tell my line manager though..... I suddenly have no desire to be at work at all.... and that hurts me. DH already thinks I went back too early and hes really angry that i now feel like this

doodledo_2

Morning hun. Want a numpty I can't believe he has been so insensitive. Why is he even telling you that she is pregnant if they aren't announcing to everyone anyway.

I can understand why it has upset you and can't blaming you for speaking to a manager but on the flipside playing devils advocate maybe he did genuinely believe it was for the best and he was trying to protect you. Blokes minds work in funny ways at the best of times and if you haven't been through such a thing you may not be conscious of quite how hard these type of things can be.

Hope you are having a good weekend and enjoying the sunshine.

CAFCGirl

Thats really true Doodle.

I can understand that he may have had the best intentions but part of me also think he's actually doing it for attention.
I know that sounds really harsh but this guy is ultra competitive, and he actually made a few comments whilst I was pregnant about how much attention I was getting.

Plus to be fair, its his wife who is pregnant, shes not in the business, I dont really understand why anyon in the company needs to know.
I would have preferred him telling me when she was 3 months, that way I would have had some more time.

Im actually just upset about it now and im going out on business to another store for the next two days and I just dont want to be there, i dont want to leave the house at all. Im really tempted to just come home early tomorrow. I think I'll be speaking to my line manager at some point today so I will tell her.

ave a good weekend all xx and thanks for the support