Edit - Had OR Interview Thurs at 9am

Summer1969

shadowdragon wrote: »

Its all good this end suprisingly, and yeah, save the ad and tell em not to be foolish with money or else this is what happens!!!! hmmmm do as I say not as I did hehehe

I so didn't want to see it. I think that because that was the old me and I am moving forward. My niece is 16 and I am already the example, my sis says to her, 'make sure you spend half and save half out of your Saturday job...you don't want to turn out like Aunty....' :rotfl:

I have good chats with her as well, because she loves to buy things, takes after me, not older sis, and I want her to learn from my mistakes and I think she will.

Summer1969

That was the most horrendous thing ever. I'm not going to sugercoat it. Lasted an hour. He was ok but I just wasn't prepared for him going through everything with a fine toothed comb. I felt such a fool, trying to think of reasons why I had got that loan, why I had spent that, why I went on holiday last year.....he kept pressing me for reasons and I just wanted the floor to swallow up.

I need advice here. When he kept asking me why did I get that loan out and why did I re-mortgage more than once, I felt so foolish that I said I had paid some loans off for OH (well I did pay 2 smallish ones off for him because the interest rates were so high), but I said that a lot of the debts were to help him because I thought it made me look bad that I had been so irresponsible. But he then said, well anything you have paid off for your OH, he needs to pay back! I felt sick. 'What do you mean? What if he can't?', 'well if he can't, he can't, but he is earning so he will be expected to.' I then realised that I shouldn't have said that and just admitted that those loans and remortgaging were just for debt consolidation, me not managing etc....and not to pay off something for OH. He kept asking me how many times I re-mortgaged, why I re-mortgaged, how much it was, what it was for...and I couldn't remember and kept saying, probably debts and helping OH.... so I now have to send OR a letter detailing all this. Its going to look strange isn't it, in the letter to OR, that I have told him something which isn't really true. That these debts were practically all mine and I only helped OH a little. At least we can prove what I paid for OH, statements will show when I re-mortgaged and that a payment was made to OH's loan company from my bank account, so if he has to pay that back, then he will have to, but I feel a fool that I told OR something different to make myself not look so stupid. I am now worried sick that OR will wonder why I said something completely different in the telephone interview. Sis said just to be honest and explain you were in a fluster, you felt a fool with all the debts, you had so many debts at the time, that you couldn't remember what they were all for. I know I didn't tell him anything illegal on the phone, just that a lot of my borrowing was for him...when it wasn't....to make me not look like such a prize tw*t.......which obviously, is completely different to saying the opposite...that I hadn't lent him anything, when I had....which I would never do, I am going to give him all the facts about what I paid off for OH, so why do I feel so sick? I am going to put in the letter that OH has paid for everything the past couple of years, including the loans, so I am hoping that will be taken into consideration that some of the money I lent him will have been paid off? I hope so.

Oh, the car, which is only worth £400, he told me that an agent will value it and a family friend or partner can buy it back if they wish.

The flat, he is happy to leave it as it is, on the market, and will write to our Solicitors telling them that he has a beneficial interest in it when it is sold.

Glad its over, but still have to find that information, send it off to him and await to hear what he is going to do about it. I know I have brought everything on myself (even though I didn't intend being ill and not working the past couple of years), and this has taught me a really hard lesson and one which I intend never ever repeating again.

DEBT_23

:eek: Poor you, relax and be glad its over !!
im dreading mine now.. i go BR 6th august.. i dont even have a OH . i aint a clue why i took out debt at 18 but i know at 23 i was teking more out to cover other debt !!
least its over with now.

k2nga

Well Summer at least you are through it now. It is strange to hear when a OR kind of gives a hard time about the past its not like you knew back then that you would end up BR.

peachyprice

Oh summer, sounds like you really had a tough time of it.

There was someone else (sorry can't remember who :rolleyes: ) who started waffling and told the OR some things that weren't correct. They phoned the OR back and told them they'd been nervous and had mucked it up, I beleive the OR was understanding and it all got sorted. So you're not the first to get flustered under pressure.

shadowdragon

awww poor summer sorry you got in a muddle, now im cacking my pants for mine in 2 hrs time!!!! OMG do you think it will be ok for my partner to speak to the OR first and explain that I have some personality disorders??? Because if they start giving me the thumb screws I might get agressive or hang up on them!!!!

Summer1969

shadowdragon wrote: »

awww poor summer sorry you got in a muddle, now im cacking my pants for mine in 2 hrs time!!!! OMG do you think it will be ok for my partner to speak to the OR first and explain that I have some personality disorders??? Because if they start giving me the thumb screws I might get agressive or hang up on them!!!!

Oh sorry hun, didn't mean to make you nervous, just wanted to be honest and get some feedback. He did say to me that we could take a break at any time, so if you don't feel well or up to it, just tell him. I must admit, my legs were shaking the last couple of mins on the phone and I felt really sick afterwards. I suppose from posts I read on here, the OR phone calls didn't seem that bad, so I really wasn't expecting that so I thought I would be honest, just so people are prepared. He was asking me stuff that I wasn't asked for on the BR forms so I was in a real muddle...and wasn't expecting him to ask me why I had remortgaged so many times, as that wasn't anything to do with the debt I had put down on the BR form. I just panicked, and said a lot of it was due to helping out my OH, when it wasn't. I realise now, that he does need to be thorough, make sure I haven't transferred any assets or helped anyone out, so although I felt completely violated and picked on at the time, I do have to tell myself he probably has about another 40 cases on his desk to deal with, I am not the only one in the country going BR...but it sure as hell felt like it today!

Can't find any remortgaging paperwork apart from the last time I did it, so now frantically trying to remember, and get info from the last company, and then info for the company before that...one company said only one woman in the whole company can access files that are 2 years old and she is on holiday til 28 July...wonderful, just what I need! :rolleyes: OH is at the bank now, getting details of the 2 loans I paid off for him and the amounts so I can show that to the OR. Just feel a fool and hope OR is ok with the info I provide, just worrying now that he will go through everything on the credit card statements and want a full life story. At the end of the day, we didn't put anything on a card or get a loan out for anything that we didn't intend paying back, we haven't missed a payment on anything, apart from the last month, and we did put the flat on the market in March to pay off some debts, so I hope that proves a little that we were not trying to buck the system and take the easy way out of BR....cos its not, believe me!

dalip

Summer calm down. Leave it today. Tomorrow sit down with a pen and a paper and go through everything that he wants to know and list it.



Then write a letter explaining everything. The reasons why you "dodged" certain questions and why. I am not good under pressure either so i sent in a 2 page essay:eek: of eveything. Mine never came back to me for an further info.

If he is a decent chap then he should understand.D

Summer1969

dalip wrote: »

Summer calm down. Leave it today. Tomorrow sit down with a pen and a paper and go through everything that he wants to know and list it.

Then write a letter explaining everything. The reasons why you "dodged" certain questions and why. I am not good under pressure either so i sent in a 2 page essay:eek: of eveything. Mine never came back to me for an further info.

If he is a decent chap then he should understand.D

Thanks hun. I wish I could write it all down tomorrow, send it off and get it out of the way but 3 mortgage companies I have remembered can't give me any info without an account number, so told me to find it on my bank statements. Mmm, that account is frozen now, hope I can still access them. Wish I had known he was going to ask my about my remortgaging and I would have got all this info before the call today.

What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.....:o;)

dalip

If you can not get the info he needs tell him that in the letter. Then he can get it himself:p . Sounds like he wants you to do his work for him.:mad: They are paid to investigate your bc:rolleyes: .D