on TV now, alternative to nappies

jellyhead

awww jen you've changed your avatar, what a fab pic! i hope tabby feels better soon.

my sis has one confident kid and one nervous one but in general i've read that currently the thinking is that knowing their cries will be responded to makes a baby cry less in the future. don't know about confidence as such but they won't cry as much. maybe after a while the sound of their own voice becomes their comfort, a bit like screaming during labour, it actually helps with the pain lol!

Alleycat

Emily wrote:

Also, parenting has been the one area in my life where people's opinions vary so massively, from very baby centred approaches to the mum centred ideas. If it works for your family then it has to be the right thing. So many people have told me that having my second daughter in bed with me will create a 'rod' for my own back, but if you're happy with the arrangement it really shouldn't concern any well-meaning advisors!

Emily, take no notice of all that 'well meaning' advice. I got it all when people found out we co-slept. If it helps at all, Kitten co-slept up until a few weeks ago and now sleeps through in her cot in the nursery. For the first three months she used to sleep on and off on her daddy's chest, whilst feeding lots before we used to go to bed with us. Then when she got a bit wriggly doing the whole starfish thing, we took the side off her cot and had that as an extension to the bed, though it was mostly my bum that got the most use out of it!! Then when she was around 7 months we put her cot in her own room (the neighbours kids were waking her up all the time being noisy) and she would come in with us when she woke for her last feed of the evening, we bought a bed guard to stop her falling out. She then suddenly started sleeping through all of her own accord and she spends the whole night in her cot. She does come in for a snuggle in the morning and if she were to start waking up again, I would bring her in with us, no hesitation. She used to feed loads during the night and is was soo nice not to have to haul myself out of bed and just pull my nightie open.

As long as its done sensibly, no heavy duvets and pillows in the way, no smoking, drinking etc then I believe its one of the best starts to a baby's (and mum's) life. I know its not for everyone and all babies are different, but as you say, if it works for you, go for it!

So all those people can go find somewhere else to put their rods (ooh err)!

Alley

starlite_2

Emily wrote:

One thing I would say is that I let my first daughter cry and 'settle' herself back to sleep when she awoke, based upon the advice of my health visitor. I found the crying really distressing and, to be honest, she is not outgoing or confident as a result of this early 'independence'. With my second I am striving to meet her needs with cuddles and milk when she wants it. Although she sleeps some nights in her moses basket she also comes into bed with me when she won't settle. I'm wondering whether she might grow more confidently from this more secure base of knowing that mummy is there.

i must say, i find the concept of 'controlled crying' quite ridiculous ,all the books i have read suggest that going to your baby right away and giving them what they want makes them more content, more confident and less likely to cry as they know they are having their needs taken care of.

we haven't got a nursery yet, we plan to have the baby next to our bed in a crib for the first 5 months or so, then will decide if we want to move him.
My Oh's mum in particular has expressed concern at this...quite rudely sometimes...she even said 'oh, your sex life will never recover if you do that' ...thats the least of my concerns right now!
she's the same about us using washable nappies...she said it'll be too much hassle, blah blah blah and she will not use them when she babysits, oh and I'll regret breastfeeding as my figure will never be the same again, and OH shouldn't be at the birth as it's an 'operation' that only doctors and women should see...argh.....

sorry for that little rant...it's just annoying that people are so interfering, when he isn't even born yet....

bylromarha

Threadhead wrote:

The only thing that bugged me when I was pregnant is people you hardly know TOUCHING YOUR TUMMY!!!!! What is THAT all about???? You'd never go up to someone you barely know and touch them there.

Whenever people rubbed my bump, I rubbed their tummy. You got varying reactions to this, ranging from "mind the wobbles" to outright flinching, but they all got the point that bump rubbing was not appreciated on this pregnant mama.

Threadhead wrote:

i must say, i find the concept of 'controlled crying' quite ridiculous ,all the books i have read suggest that going to your baby right away and giving them what they want makes them more content, more confident and less likely to cry as they know they are having their needs taken care of.

There are books which support both views. Like it's been said before what works for one family doesn't work for another and just beware of implying that someone is ridiculous because they aren't following your own chosen method. I hope that wasn't your intention, but that's how I read it as a controlled crying believer as it worked for us.

If we're whinging, can I whinge about people who ask your advise on what to do with baby in certain circumstances. You give your advice, they don't try it and are still complaining to you about the problem weeks later. You repeat your advice and remind them you offered it before and they say "I'll give that a go" and never do and guess what, come back to you again with the problem. At that point I just listen and when advice is asked for I tell them there's no point as they don't act upon it (in a kinder way than that...!)

Lillibet_2

starlite wrote:

i must say, i find the concept of 'controlled crying' quite ridiculous ,all the books i have read suggest that going to your baby right away and giving them what they want makes them more content, more confident and less likely to cry as they know they are having their needs taken care of.

we haven't got a nursery yet, we plan to have the baby next to our bed in a crib for the first 5 months or so, then will decide if we want to move him.
My Oh's mum in particular has expressed concern at this...quite rudely sometimes...she even said 'oh, your sex life will never recover if you do that' ...thats the least of my concerns right now!
she's the same about us using washable nappies...she said it'll be too much hassle, blah blah blah and she will not use them when she babysits, oh and I'll regret breastfeeding as my figure will never be the same again, and OH shouldn't be at the birth as it's an 'operation' that only doctors and women should see...argh.....

sorry for that little rant...it's just annoying that people are so interfering, when he isn't even born yet....

I have to say I don't feel at all comfortable with the idea of controlled crying, especially at a very young age, i.e before 6 months when a baby is incapable of being manipulative and only cries beacuse of a need. I don't think I'll be trying it even when Spud is older. To me it is logical that if a baby is crying they must want something, even if it is only attention. So why not give them what they need? Saying that, I would never condem anyone for trying it, a baby is so demanding that it is almost impossible to meet all of their needs all of the time and if asserting you are in charge works for you then that is fine, diffrent stroke for different folks and all that.

gravitytolls

Ooh, me too. Puppy poop is bad enough. I know that my sweetie pie will poop while I'm cleaning up puppy poop, cos I was too busy to see the signs.

I'll stick with teh nappies.

And Jay Jay, really, did you have to mention pelvic floors - ah boo hoooo.

jellyhead

i mentioned this to my pregnand sis and she says her 2 children both always pooped while drinking. a few times she had a bath with a baby, baby took advantage of her nakedness to grab a quick breastfeed and pooped on her lol!

lynneinjapan

bylromarha wrote:

Just Googled Mara Lee, and it turns out she is the editor of Practical Parenting.

I guess there's one article she won't be putting in her magazine...and if she was talking negatively about reuseable nappies, I wonder how many reuseable agents will withdraw their advertising budget from her magazine? Lots I hope, as she still appears to subscribe to the environment agency report conclusions, the fool.

Reviving this thread almost a year later...

There is an article on page 64 of this month's (Sept 06) PP magazine on potty training, and it DOES address Elimination Communication. Seems quite balanced too - and is even mentioned on the front cover!

And yes, Mara Lee is still the editor!

buxtonrabbitgreen

starlite wrote:

I read loads about this when I came across a site whilst looking for advice on cloth nappies..i guess if you have the time, and inclination it could work, which must be true in poorer countries.
I cannot understand why anyone would choose this though..it would be so much extra work on top of the usual demands of a baby
made me think..for anyone watching 'lost' what is the girl claire doing for nappies...!?

I am sure Sawyer has a supply!:rotfl:

Lillibet_2

I know what I'd do for nappies if I was stuck on a desert island with loads of suitcases full of clothes, as they seem to be! I'd tie sweatshirts & the like around babe. Would work fine apart from not being waterproof but that's hardly the end of the world in extreme conditions. Although given that show's ability to answer every need (even chocolate!), I expect either someone had packed a complete set of birth to toddler luxury washables which she can use, or else a cargo plane has crashed nearby with about 3 years supply of nappies, creams, formula, dummies, janet & john books.........:D

HTH;)