on TV now, alternative to nappies

jellyhead

hi alley, splodge is 11 weeks but is a big baby, he's above the 98th centile on the weight chart so people think he's older and they snidely comment on him not sitting up yet.

not sure about splodge but when i toilet trained my eldest he didn't seem to have a clue what was going on down below. he wanted changing the instant he was wet or dirty but i'm sure he didn't know when it was coming, or have any control, not until he was 3 and a bit. splodge seems a lot more alert and aware of his body though but we don't have all wooden floors in the house so i think i'll stick to the nappies. i think baby signing will be great though, anything that helps communication should make baby happier. the mums who do go without nappies must have very close bonds with thei children.

black-saturn

jellyhead wrote:

hi alley, splodge is 11 weeks but is a big baby, he's above the 98th centile on the weight chart so people think he's older and they snidely comment on him not sitting up yet.

I used to get those snidely comments with my two. First everyone kept commenting about how small my first one was and said she would always be a little runt (what a lovely thing to say hey?). How wrong they were. Now she's 11 and measures 5ft 6 and wears size 14 clothes!! Then I got people commenting that she hadn't sat up on her own, walked, talked or potty trained within the time they thought was normal. I fretted about it so much and thought she was backward. When I had the 2nd baby though I threw all those percentile charts away, never turned up to the health visitor checks and never looked at a baby book. Those people seem to make it their mission to make a new mum insecure.

Alleycat

I agree, its as if every man, woman and their dog think its their right to tell us what to do, how to do it, and that everything we've already been doing is wrong! It starts in pregnancy as well, I got told by everyone that my bump was really small which made me soo paranoid.

I've heard the rod for your own back comment enough times as well, just because we chose to co-sleep and carry Jess a lot. Well they can go jump as she easily sleeps 12 hours a night now in her cot with no stress, tears (on either part, lol!) or 'sleep training' and is really outgoing, loves being held by all and sundry. Can you tell they used to wind me up a bit!!

Nikki

I think most mothers know what is right for their babies. I always had my babies in bed with me, they slept better and as I was breastfeeding it meant I didn't have to get up - just latch them on and go back to sleep!! No probs getting them to sleep in their cot when I got fed up with them hogging the bed. MIL thought feeding on demand was wrong, my babies were happier for it. Don't think I'd have been able to do the no nappy thing although they used to have lots of nappy free time. Have forgotten to put a nappy back on (my daughter) once, pushchair was soaked by the time I got back from Sainsburys.

jellyhead

i ignore comments about my large baby, his dad is tall. my other boy is tiny and i used to worry but this time around i don't take much notice. people think it's okay to comment on babies (don't you feed him/are you overfeeding him/he's going to be ginger) but i wouldn't dream of saying 'hasn't your husband got huge ears'. some mums are just making conversation or being nosey because they're just interested but others really criticise.

we all do what we feel happy with, i prefer nappies myself but he does get nappy-free time. i thought the no-nappy mum on TV seemed very relaxed and happy so congrats to her :-)

Alleycat

I couldn't do the whole no nappy thing either! She still wears them pretty much all the time except for a couple of hours a day when its warm enough. In the middle of summer though it was soo hot that we had to take it off, fortunately she wasn't mobile then!

We've not had any daft comments about Jess fortunately, though I got really paranoid when pregnant as everyone kept on saying (in concerned voices) that my bump was very small compared to theirs at that stage of pregnancy. I was really worried but when I asked my midwife she just said that some people are just too fat!!!! I'm pretty tall (5'11") so I guess there was just more room in there for kitten to sprawl!

Jellyhead, I like your idea! If someone says something rude about kitten, I'll just say "really? Did you know you had nits crawling all over your head? You can get special shampoo you know"

jenpoptab

jellyhead wrote:

i'm told 'you're making a rod for your own back' but if he wants a cuddle in the middle of the night he gets one. i sleep with my husband and can roll over and put my arm around him if i want to - why should my baby be lonely?

I had Tabs in bed from about 2am. Is so not well. Just crying all the time. I think it's teething but she also has upset tummy. It was much better for all of us for her to cuddle me last night. I've had very little sleep, but that's nothing new.

Threadhead

Alleycat and Jellyhead - LMAO at the "nits" and "big ears" stories - Thanks for that!

Emily

I have been stunned by the things people feel they can say and recommend to you during pregnancy and motherhood. The bump size thing is crazy - with my first daughter I was huge, and she came out at 8lb 3oz; with my second I was much smaller, yet she came out at 8lb 8oz. People's comments only serve to concern a pregnant mum!!

Also, parenting has been the one area in my life where people's opinions vary so massively, from very baby centred approaches to the mum centred ideas. If it works for your family then it has to be the right thing. So many people have told me that having my second daughter in bed with me will create a 'rod' for my own back, but if you're happy with the arrangement it really shouldn't concern any well-meaning advisors!

One thing I would say is that I let my first daughter cry and 'settle' herself back to sleep when she awoke, based upon the advice of my health visitor. I found the crying really distressing and, to be honest, she is not outgoing or confident as a result of this early 'independence'. With my second I am striving to meet her needs with cuddles and milk when she wants it. Although she sleeps some nights in her moses basket she also comes into bed with me when she won't settle. I'm wondering whether she might grow more confidently from this more secure base of knowing that mummy is there.

Threadhead

The only thing that bugged me when I was pregnant (I mean, aside from the uncontrollable morning sickness, being totally shattered the whole time, lower back agony, pubic bone agony - you know the stuff) is people you hardly know TOUCHING YOUR TUMMY!!!!! What is THAT all about???? You'd never go up to someone you barely know and touch them there.

Emily - I dont know that there is a connection between a baby's lack on confidence and being able to settle themselves? I believe its just the way they are. My first two kids were treated very similarly, however, my first child is not confident at all, while my second is possibly TOO confident. (I am not including baby number 3 in this equation, as she is spoilt rotten, and ets away with much more than the others would!)