Any help would be much appreciated!

shjo558

The Council Tax liability will only be your former partners while she lives there and you don't as she is the 'resident owner'.

Phone your local council, tell them you've moved but former partner still resident. Ask them to end your liability to pay and to bill resident owner.

You should be due a refund as you've been out of the property for 3 months now.

Mips

shjo558 wrote: »

The Council Tax liability will only be your former partners while she lives there and you don't as she is the 'resident owner'.

Phone your local council, tell them you've moved but former partner still resident. Ask them to end your liability to pay and to bill resident owner.

You should be due a refund as you've been out of the property for 3 months now.

I suspect that the OP will do no such thing for fear of the Woman cutting ties with his child.

What an awful situation to be in. She is lucky because some Men would tell he to fcuk right off and give her nothing. Nothing whatsoever. And make her fight damn hard for a penny - like the poor Women on this board who are 13 years down the line and still not seen a penny.

GrahamJP_2

Thanks for the messages of support everyone. Informed her earlier that I was putting my salary into my personal account and that I will only give her what the CSA calculator was saying and no more (obviously the figure may have to be revised if things go further). Didn't go down too well but there were signs that she accepted where I was coming from.

She's now asking if I can help her and my daughter find somewhere decent to live. Said that of course I'll look at properties with her but I'm not going to be able to provide help towards rent etc as I need to start a new life. Not been easy as it'll be truly heartbreaking seeing my daughter grow up somewhere that is nowhere near as comfortable as where they are now but I suppose that's the way it has to be.

enemes

GrahamJP wrote: »

it'll be truly heartbreaking seeing my daughter grow up somewhere that is nowhere near as comfortable as where they are now but I suppose that's the way it has to be.

Why? Surely the heartbreaking bit is the fact that your daughter has to go through the break-up of her parents relationship. Is there any reason why your daughter can't continue to live with you? You seem to have given up on her already.

BARGAINHUNTER!

If she wants to move out of the house then you need to see a solicitor asap. I was not married to my ex but we had a joint mortgage and two kids. I stayed on in the house, and took out a mortgage in my own name. This paid off the joint mortgage on the house, and my ex now has a charge against my property. As there were children involved and some assets jointly held, we went to mediation who helped us draw up a deed of seperation which we then took to our individual solicitors for them to draw up. in it it stated exactly what was to happen to the house (transfer into my name with ex having % charge over the property as I couldn't afford to give him his share at the time) what was to happen to the children (we share responsibility for them) and how much maintenance was to be paid for the children (we use the CSA calculator but it is paid directly to me with no CSA involvement at all) The deed of seperation also details what happened to all the assets (cars, bank accounts personal effects in the house). Going to mediation is by far the best and cheapest way.

Whatever you do, you need to stop paying your salary into the joint account. If I were you, while you are not living in the house, I would pay her half the mortgage and however much the CSA calculator says you need to pay. All the other bills need to be transferred into her name for her to pay. She will then have to claim benefits, which she may already be doing. Either way, you are doing her no favours paying for everything and letting her bleed you dry. Write and tell her what you propose to do, and from what date. Get yourself a solicitor and suggest she gets one too. You can often get first half hour appointment free. Find out about mediation in your area and put this in the letter to her as well, suggesting you both go together.. Mediation is not about getting you to stay together at all - its about sitting around a table and deciding in an adult and mature way how you are going to divide everything up fairly.

Whatever your feelings in all of this, it is important for the sake of your child that you remain civil with each other. But please do not continue to allow yourself to be used as a dormat - at the moment this woman is having her cake and eating it!

PS - I guess you pay for her to go to the gym too? Unbelievable!!

GrahamJP_2

I would love to have my daughter with me but the nature if my job can be demanding and involves lots of out of office hours call etc. She's not stating full time school for quite a while yet so it would be very difficult to achieve. I also believe that despite everything, my daughter's mother is a good mother and I don't want to affect that bond.

My daughter doesn't really have a clue as to what is going on but she'll twig soon! Never envisaged that fatherhood would turn out like this but still...

Anyway, I plan to move back in this week (not broken news on that one yet!) and that'll put the cat amongst the pigeons even more! Am thinking that I might just walk in with my bags with no warning!

Oh and to the last messenger. Many thanks for the valuable advice. Much appreciated. As far as the gym is concerned, well I'm not totally sure! I expect I'm paying but need to check!!!!

enemes

GrahamJP wrote: »

Anyway, I plan to move back in this week (not broken news on that one yet!) and that'll put the cat amongst the pigeons even more! Am thinking that I might just walk in with my bags with no warning!

You are in a difficult position here. Although I hear what you are saying , your house etc ... the distress it may cause your daughter watching her mother freak out, may later be used against you in court, should it go that far.

I would text or email your ex, have a record of your intentions, stating that you are returning to your home on whatever date, and then give her the chance to decide whether she will be there or not. Yeah ... she may change the locks etc, but at the end of the day it IS your home too, and she has no legal right to prevent you access. The more she is seen to be unreasonable, the more 'brownie points' you will gain in the long run ... which will benefit you in the long run. I know, things seem somewhat amicable at the moment, but it is early days yet ........

GrahamJP_2

Enemes,
Thanks for the message.Could be some good advice there! Like I say, I'm not really comfortable taking the route which I started last night but at the end of the day I'm not a bank or a cashpoint am I?!

What a panto!

frugallass

Good luck - will be thinking about you

dimbo61

Be very careful. she may well change the locks if you tell her you are moving
back in and call the police if you turn up on the door !
You have a legal right to enter the home but you could be accused of harassing your EX and taken away by the police.
Inform your bank and close the joint bank account, change your credit card and open a new bank account in your name ( you may have old bank statements and CC details at home which she might use to got shopping )
Pay her 15% of your net pay by cheque which clearly states its for maintence of your daughter and pay only half of the mortgage after informing the mortgage company.