Any help would be much appreciated!

GrahamJP_2

Hello all,
Could someone help?! Basically the situation is that I've just seperated from my girlfriend and we have a 3 year old together. I agreed to move out to see if we could take time out in an effort to repair our relationship. Anyway, my girlfriend has decided that it's over. We bought the house 4 years ago on a joint mortgage. The mortgage is over £630 a month and I am the only one working. I pay for every single thing that goes into and out of the house and it's not really fair as I don't live there at the moment (living with parents). I want to move back in as I don't really want to sell the house as I worked so hard to get in a position to buy it in the first place.

If I go back and my girlfriend decides to upsticks (she's threatening to change locks before that happens) and take my daughter with her does the CSA take into account the fact that we have a joint mortgage on our house? I wish it wasn't a joint one as I'm the only one who has poured money into it. I want to make sure that my beautiful daughter doesn't suffer but I'll find it hard to pay out a few hundred punds extra a month if I continue to live in th ehouse which I don't really want to sell. What a messy situation!

frugallass

Hi Graham and welcome !

If the mortgage / property is in joint names then you are well within your rights to move back in there. If she can't afford to pay the mortgage then she should either move out or let you back in. She can't change the locks on a property that you own. Speak to your lender at this early stage and make them aware of the situation. They may be able to advise you on the legalities of it all too.

Are the bills in your name or joint names? Cancel any unnecessary bills / outgoings and check what bills your name appears on. I'm not saying that she will do this but consider that she might run up a huge gas bill or phone bill if it's in your name only.

How on earth does she think she is going to keep up with all the payments if she brings no money into the house?

Anyway, some more knowledgeable people will be along to help you even more - keep us posted and good luck

GrahamJP_2

Thanks very much for the response. There's no way my girlfriend can pay one bill as I've been the only one working for the last 39 months. Will have to check. I believe most of the bills are in my name alone and that the mortgage is the only that's a joint venture.

I don't want to see them out on the street but I can't continue to pay for it all while living elsewhere (been out of house for nearly 10 weeks now). The ideal scenario would be for me to move back in and make a go of things but that won't happen. She has said that if I go back she will move out and try to get every penny out of me. That would obviously mean that I can't continue to live in and pay the mortage on the house in the joint names. One option would be to get the mortage in my name only. Not sure if that's possible but the house has gone up in value since we bought so she'd want a fair old whack of the difference probably and there's no way I could then pay a bigger mortgage and pay maintenance to my darling daughter! Maybe I'm missing something here!!

frugallass

she may very well try to get 'every penny out of you' but she might not be successful, don't let her threats scare you.

Have a look at the CSA website and the calculator will give you an idea of what you will have to pay for the little one.

Ring the utilities too and advise them of the situation, it can be embarrassing but at least you have the situation recorded with them should a problem crop up in the future.

I don't understand how she thinks she can carry on living there without contributing to the bills etc - how does she pay for food?

GrahamJP_2

She doesn't pay for food. We have a joint account which she uses. The only money that goes in there is my salary and the little bit of child benefit that we get. Actually I think that might go into her individual account! So yes, I pay for all the food. I obvioulsy don't mind paying for my little one's food but am not too happy about paying for her's too. I am considering putting my salary into my personal account (which also acts as a bills account). That would mean that she woudn't be able to spend much more from the joint account.Oh yes....we've got two cars. Both in my name. She's an additional driver. She is driving around in the superior car. Again, I'm not completely peed off with that as I wantmy daughter to have comfort but I'm still being taken for granted. Oh and who pays for all the fuel? Me!

Mips

You are letting her continue to use you in this way.

Pay the mortgage only. Not the Council Tax or anything else.

You have to be tough.

It is sad there is a child involved but she is bleeding you dry. Why are you letting her use your joint account whilst you are living at your Mothers?

If I were you I would move back in and make her move out.

You will do right by your child - seek legal advice. It will go against her when she tries to stop you seeing your Child. Which is the main point of all this.

GrahamJP_2

Hello,
Thanks for responding. Much appreciated. Yes I am being bled dry and I should be tougher! A typical day is for me to go to work all day. Drive back to see my daughter (while partner goes to gym!!), put little one to bed and then leave when my partner returns....daft eh?!?!!!! So basically I'm a glorified babysitter!

I've considered taking the joint account card off her but her name is on one of the cards so not sure where I stand on that. Have thought about cancelling things like council tax but as I'm part owner of the house surely the council would come looking for me as well?!
Still think putting my salary in my own account is a good idea?

kelloggs36

She can actually get the locks changed on your house - whilst you are not actually there. From my memory (which is old now as my situation was nearly 20 years ago and things may have change a bit since then) if the person actually in the house doesn't want the other to be there and they change the locks, the police can be called if the other person tries to break in whilst the other person is in the house. However, if you broke in whilst she was out, there would be nothing they could do.

As for income, she would have to claim benefits. She could claim that you have abandoned her and so would not have to wait the normal 40 weeks before she got help with the mortgage repayments. This would buy you time and money as you would not need to pay the mortgage as Income Support would pay for the interest on it.

Your CSA payments would be a flat % of what you earn depending on the number of children you have. AS you have 1 child, you would have to pay 15% of your net income in child support. AT the end of this year, those on benefits will not have to claim CSA and can come to private agreements if on benefits but at the moment there is no choice. If you can afford to pay 15% and a bit towards the capital repayments on the house, your investment is secured and she is liable for all other costs without having to rely on you.

Mips

Unless this Guy gets really tough he is going to be milked dry :mad:

Definitely pay your salary into your own account - screw her. She will only cry poverty and demand an extortionate amount of money for your child anyways.

frugallass

Graham the general consensus here is that she is bleeding you dry and you are letting her, you're obviously trying to do right by your child but you have to be tough.

Get your salary into a new account as soon as you possibly can.

Take her name off the car insurance and demand the keys back, the car is in your name and she isn't insured to drive it - if she refuses to hand them over then call the police. Tell her what you have done and why.

We're here to support you, so please let us know how you're doing x

jpmummy

agreed - take care Graham keep us posted.