If benefits stop as the government have no money

pipkin71

Loopy_Girl wrote: »

Caolpol had brought out a night time sleepy version...it is so getting abused where I am it is unreal...

I have heard before now of the "benefits" of giving children calpol every night :eek:

Pipkin xxxx

Kimitatsu

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

Although this is awful, it is actually nothing to do with poverty, and the amount of money they have on benefits, is it? Mars Bars are not a cheap option! It's just bad/chavvy/couldn't care less parenting.

But unfortunately poverty and social depravation go hand in hand which leads to bad parenting. Like Loopy girl I work with deprived families and hard to reach groups, who are not aware of the help and advice they can access - in some cases beacuse they cannot read or write, in others because they lack the transport and live in isolated rural housing estates.

Add to those things that chronic shortage of health visitors in our area and who is there to teach these young parents good parenting skills? In many cases they are young themselves, away from the rest of their families as they cant get a house in a town and so depend on each other for ideas help support etc. As has been said once one person has a "good idea" then it spreads and becomes the norm, and it takes time to break down that behaviour, for which funding is not always available.

It never ceases to amaze me that the most basic skills do not seem to be passed down, things that could save people a fortune such as making thier own baby food, using terry nappies, etc etc.

Think I am just getting old though :rolleyes:

bestpud

lilac_lady wrote: »

"When I was young" (get the violins out) a Mars bar was beyond most people's means as a treat to their children and I'm talking about working people. No benefits like the ones on offer today. How times have changed - maybe not for the better.

That's the big problem with any talk of removing the welfare state. Those who advocate it often have rose tinted glasses on when it comes to remembering how people 'survived' without it.

In principle it sounds great - everyone will have to work to survive so none of this paying the die hard unemplyed to sit on their bums all day.

However, the reality is you will have people at the mercy of employers and landlords again. People putting work over education for their children - pre and post compulsory stage. People going sick rather than pay for a doctor - look at how many have rotting teeth since the changes in dental provision (and then think about the long term health consequences of poor oral health). And so on...

We have to keep in mind why the welfare state was introduced in the first place!!

It certainly needs an overhaul - few would dispute that but take away benefits and the only ones to gain will be corporate firms, and their share holders. It is an entirely different society we live in today and few would find it so easy as they imagine.

Goodness only knows what the answer is though - we can't carry on as we are, that's for sure.

backtomum

PasturesNew wrote: »

In the US most people don't get benefits.

My friend, late 40s, was let go from his job after 11 years. It completely floored him. He got 6 months' benefits and that was his lot. He tried applying for jobs and didn't get one. He then called me, he was down to his last $1000 and was about to default on his rent. Over there it's "no rent, out on the streets". He said something that made me think he was going to spend his last $1000 and then just kill himself.

Luckily I managed to persuade him to sign up for some temping agencies - and luckily he did actually get a job within 3 weeks. But that's luck. Just signing with one doesn't mean there's any work for you or that you'll get it.

So he didn't top himself.

But over there, if you've no money then that's your lot.

You are quite right America takes a hardline approach (maybe too hard) - I'm afraid the opposite is true here. Did anyone see Man with 20 Kids last night - it showed up everything that is wrong with this bloody country. £450 a week benefits - rent and CT paid for (no doubt free school meals, free prescriptions, free dental care, free school uniform etc etc etc) drink and fags were priority - the poor kids were so neglected and truly suffering! When I hear the term child poverty - I think it only exists because of !!!!less parents. Both myself and husband work - get £10 per week TC and CB and pay out £550 per month for a rented house, £100 per month CT, and pay for everything else - we are left with nothing at the end of the month but we choose to work - pity a lot of other people don't.

seven-day-weekend

Kimitatsu wrote: »

But unfortunately poverty and social depravation go hand in hand which leads to bad parenting. Like Loopy girl I work with deprived families and hard to reach groups, who are not aware of the help and advice they can access - in some cases beacuse they cannot read or write, in others because they lack the transport and live in isolated rural housing estates.

Add to those things that chronic shortage of health visitors in our area and who is there to teach these young parents good parenting skills? In many cases they are young themselves, away from the rest of their families as they cant get a house in a town and so depend on each other for ideas help support etc. As has been said once one person has a "good idea" then it spreads and becomes the norm, and it takes time to break down that behaviour, for which funding is not always available.

It never ceases to amaze me that the most basic skills do not seem to be passed down, things that could save people a fortune such as making thier own baby food, using terry nappies, etc etc.

Think I am just getting old though :rolleyes:

I appreciate that you know more about these families than I do - however I must admit that I find it difficult to believe that people do not know that you don't give babies melted Mars Bars to eat. Nappies, baby food, yes I understand that - but Mars bars and McFlurries???? Seems to me it may be more a case of 'shut the kid up at all costs so I can get on with the important business of texting all my friends'.

UI apologise if this is incorrect. It's just how it appears to me.

krisskross

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

I appreciate that you know more about these families than I do - however I must admit that I find it difficult to believe that people do not know that you don't give babies melted Mars Bars to eat. Nappies, baby food, yes I understand that - but Mars bars and McFlurries???? Seems to me it may be more a case of 'shut the kid up at all costs so I can get on with the important business of texting all my friends'.

UI apologise if this is incorrect. It's just how it appears to me.

I feel that often our generous benefit system perpetuates and encourages poor parenting. Whilst we continue to reward the birth of a child with cash payments then I'm afraid it acts as an incentive. Go to any shopping mall and you will see loads of bored young women with fretful children that are screamed at on a regular basis. i have on occasions remonstrated with these young women when their children are being so obviously cowed and frightened. The level of invective then aimed at me has been unbelievable. 'Mind your own business you f***ing old cow. My f***ing kid and I'll do what I like' is a very mild example.

seven-day-weekend

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

I appreciate that you know more about these families than I do - however I must admit that I find it difficult to believe that people do not know that you don't give babies melted Mars Bars to eat. Nappies, baby food, yes I understand that - but Mars bars and McFlurries???? Seems to me it may be more a case of 'shut the kid up at all costs so I can get on with the important business of texting all my friends'.

UI apologise if this is incorrect. It's just how it appears to me.

And the mobile phone is always affordable to these people. So I don't actually think it is all to do with poverty/amount of benefits.

Loopy_Girl

Ooooh I dunno...you can get a 5 pack of Mars Bars for 99p...that's 5 lunches and/or dinners. You can't even get a 1kg bag of pasta for that these days. I remember being on a course and this woman (who had been a lone parent for 1 year) indignantly said she couldn't understand why people on benefits would go to Greggs for a sausage roll for small person rather than cook something from scratch. I actually sat there and couldn't believe it...I'm not saying it's right but by the time you bought pasta, pepper, sauce and a tin of tuna then you are talking £3.00 or so....or go to Greggs for a sausage roll which is 50p and if full of complex carbohydrates and keeps the kids going.

Sometimes I see kids in my work and I could just take them home there has been more than one occasion that I have left somewhere and went out to my car and burst into tears (I know, bet you didn't think I was a softy really eh?!!)

It's a generation thing...trying to break the cycle - that's the hard work..'if Mum did it then it must be okay'..and you tend to find that Mum was on benefits and didn't cook...no life skills passed down and that is the saddest thing about the benefit trap.

Loopy_Girl

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

And the mobile phone is always affordable to these people. So I don't actually think it is all to do with poverty/amount of benefits.

Very very true!!!!;)

Oldernotwiser

Loopy_Girl wrote: »

Ooooh I dunno...you can get a 5 pack of Mars Bars for 99p...that's 5 lunches and/or dinners. You can't even get a 1kg bag of pasta for that these days. I remember being on a course and this woman (who had been a lone parent for 1 year) indignantly said she couldn't understand why people on benefits would go to Greggs for a sausage roll for small person rather than cook something from scratch. I actually sat there and couldn't believe it...I'm not saying it's right but by the time you bought pasta, pepper, sauce and a tin of tuna then you are talking £3.00 or so....or go to Greggs for a sausage roll which is 50p and if full of complex carbohydrates and keeps the kids going.

Sometimes I see kids in my work and I could just take them home there has been more than one occasion that I have left somewhere and went out to my car and burst into tears (I know, bet you didn't think I was a softy really eh?!!)

It's a generation thing...trying to break the cycle - that's the hard work..'if Mum did it then it must be okay'..and you tend to find that Mum was on benefits and didn't cook...no life skills passed down and that is the saddest thing about the benefit trap.

Whilst I do partly understand what you're saying, you'd get considerably more than 1 child's meal out of the £3's worth of ingredients that you've listed above(and of course a tin of sauce hardly makes it home made!). Without wanting to usurp the OS board, you can make a meal for 4 from a tin of tomatoes, a tin of tuna, some pasta and seasonings and this would cost just over a £1. (We had this twice a week at one point!)