Depression Support Thread

feelinggood_2

shazrobo wrote: »

you get the odd ones that care, my alcohol counsillor yesterday for example, asked how i was, and i just fine i dont need no more appointments, he knew by how i sounded that i wasnt fine. but to be honest i just feel like giving up and drinkin all time again. anyway we had good chat and as he does care he keeping an eye on me over next few weeks over school hols, my most stressful time, and seeing me regularly
my cpn on other hand, openly admits she done all she can, and is only seeing me as gp is too busy and refers me back to her
hugs
shaz xxx

The CPN has posted me a work book, and said that as I'm good at writing, I should have a go at filling out the questions. Thing is, I'm good at writing 'facts' down, but I haven't got a clue about emotions, or why I feel the way I do. I'm really low today, and I've no idea why.

Nothing seems to be working, I can't seem to make myself feel better. I suppose the crisis team did a good job at A&E - if they hadn't been so horrible last time, I'd have OD'ed again today.

Instead, I walking round like a headless chicken, desperately trying to find something to make myself feel better, but its not working, nothing is working and I don't know what to do

Ginger_Nuts_2

feelinggood wrote: »

The CPN has posted me a work book, and said that as I'm good at writing, I should have a go at filling out the questions. Thing is, I'm good at writing 'facts' down, but I haven't got a clue about emotions, or why I feel the way I do. I'm really low today, and I've no idea why.

Nothing seems to be working, I can't seem to make myself feel better. I suppose the crisis team did a good job at A&E - if they hadn't been so horrible last time, I'd have OD'ed again today.

Instead, I walking round like a headless chicken, desperately trying to find something to make myself feel better, but its not working, nothing is working and I don't know what to do

you're at the right place tho, use this place to open up what you are feeling, sometimes it's a lot easier to pour out whats inside when you're not face to face, but you're within a supportive chain here. Try typing in what you are feeling, no one on here will take what you say wrong, no one will say thats not right, just have a go and maybe it may help.

feelinggood_2

Ginger_Nuts wrote: »

you're at the right place tho, use this place to open up what you are feeling, sometimes it's a lot easier to pour out whats inside when you're not face to face, but you're within a supportive chain here. Try typing in what you are feeling, no one on here will take what you say wrong, no one will say thats not right, just have a go and maybe it may help.

Most of the time, I don't know what I'm feeling, or why I'm feeling it. I've spent my whole life, since the abuse, doing anything to avoid feeling. Thats why I spent so much time drunk, just to numb the pain. Everything I try today just won't ease the pain or numb the emotions. I don't know why I'm feeling this way - there was no obvious trigger. I just hate me. Its not that I want to die, I just don't want ME to exist anymore. I wish I could be anyone else. I wish I didn't feel bad. I wish I didn't hate me.

Titch89

feelinggood wrote: »

Most of the time, I don't know what I'm feeling, or why I'm feeling it.

I get this a lot. When my friend found out about my self harm (November 2006) I found it hard to explain to him why I was feeling this way, without implying that it's his fault.

Ginger_Nuts_2

As i'm sure you know, there doesnt have to be a trigger, I get that regularly, I get a high, then boom, the low hits like a bomb. Theres no reason for it, you get the feeling that if you just wernt here all would be a lot better, the human race would be much better off if you just didnt exist. It's really not true, everyone has a reason for being here, everyones life has twists and turns, it's what makes it life not just an existance. I've got though quite a few very low times after cross examininating myself and wondering if my life would be better if I were so and so. to date i've yet to find anyones life that I really would like to take over. No matter who it is, no matter how they look and act, they have times and things that have happened to them they wished hadnt happened. I see your post as a positive thing, somewhere, someone has experienced similar things as you, by some reason they maybe directed to this thread as I have, and from your posting can see that they arent alone, that they can draw strength from your very honest accounts and help them through a pit of dispair they cant see themselves every emerging from.

Titch89

Do any females usually gind that they feel worse around their period? Or is that just me? I believe this explains Sunday and last night.

fairydawn

FG sorry you are having such a hard time right now. How is the new daily chart going? you must have a few things marked off?? I even managed to get up and dresses 4 out of 6 days this week . I believe you have a driving lesson booked for next week :T .

I also remember you spent a lot of time with one of your friends, you gave them all the help and support you could and now need to re-charge your batteries.

Give Tilly (Bun Bun) a hug, try to hold in there, you know what to do when it gets to bad.

If you need to chat please pm me.

Lots of hugs to u. xxx

fairydawn

Titch nice to meet you, I do get worse with my period there is no hiding when I am due on and every one has to leave me alone.:eek: :eek: My memory is very bad but it always seems worse for up too 2 weeks of the month, cannot put sentences together, more likely to s/h and whant to hurt others. Generaly don't look after myself (personnel care).

D x

fairydawn

Hi to all, Anni hope you are ok x.

Jen, is job going ok? x

Katie well done you, :T :T you are an inspiration to me. xx

Meyore, hope it is soon time for you to catch up with that lovely fiance of yours. Thinking of you. xx

Hope everyone else is coping. Hugs to those that need one. xx

:A :A :A

top_drawer_2

fairydawn wrote: »

Hi to all, Anni hope you are ok x.

Jen, is job going ok? x

hi,

thanks for asking... yes the job is ok but today I realised that I am likely to get mainly late shifts as two other people who work there prefer the early shifts. I havent done the late shift yet but from past experience ive never been keen at finishing late - that's what I had at the call centre and I left there... but it will do for now and then I can "self-promote" myself if i'm not keen.

How are you?

Jen