Please define what "Child Maintenance" Covers

Dancing_Shoes

I have no problem if we were in that situation to fund "part" of the costs but I would expect to fund the same amount as the pwc, this would be fair imo.

My oh and his ex never discussed university and her views on any subject are fairly limited so I always knew it would be a longshot for the children to have that opportunity anyway. I have a university fund for my children as I always think ahead but that is because I am able to, for many parents university is not an option for their children and yes I agree that is very unfair but that isn't the nrp's fault it is the government.

Re the condom comment boy does my hubby wish he had done that:rolleyes:;)

Dancing_Shoes

LizzieS wrote: »

I find this whole thread strange, it seems more about who should pay what, when it should be about the best interests of the offspring. Very true

From a personal persective, as a couple we decided to encourage our children to aim for university. Now separated, we still both do the same. But what about those nrp's who had never discussed this and in fact never wanted their children to go to university should they then be "made" to pay? If you had discussed it when part of a couple then yes I agree you should help to fund it but if uni isn't something you wanted as an nrp do you feel differently then

Our initial intention as a couple was to fund our childrens further education. To be fair, we haven't discussed university costs since, but my ex certainly would not take kindly to me evicting our child just because I would have to pay her living costs from my salary, equally I would not expect him to take her in and pay everything from his salary.

University is about a balance, not a me me me attitude from either parent.

University is a choice, for some it is a neccessity to become qualified in their chosen field and for some just an extension of education whilst they figure out what to do with the rest of their lives.

LizzieS_2

University isn't the choice it once was - in todays changing world, more and more children are needing the degree to simply get a minimum wage job (employers are simply picking higher qualified people).

Personally I wouldn't feel any differently if I didn't want my child to go to university - I would accept their choice and do my best to help.

LizzieS_2

frugallass wrote: »

The way I look at it is that if the parents were still together they would have probably discussed putting money away to pay for the university fees - therefore the PWC should put some of the NRP's maintenance money away, as well as their own contribution.

In some cases the above is true. However in reality, you need the full benefit of both incomes to make the saving you could have had. Also you have to look at the contribution v cost - not always does the contribution cover say 1/2 costs (eg £5pw for 3 children isn't exactly going to help save for the future).

frugallass

LizzieS wrote: »

In some cases the above is true. However in reality, you need the full benefit of both incomes to make the saving you could have had. Also you have to look at the contribution v cost - not always does the contribution cover say 1/2 costs (eg £5pw for 3 children isn't exactly going to help save for the future).

However in reality some NRP's move on and start new lives and either inherit someone else's child(ren) or have more children of their own - LizzieS are you saying that NRP's should pay half the cost of the 'child' going to Uni as well as support themselves and their new family?

My hubby's ex wife left him, refused to let him have any say in his child's upbringing / education etc yet expects him to carry on paying money (directly to her) for his daughter's uni education.

She also fails to consider that she lives in a massive detached house with her new husband and second daughter and probably has a household income double that of ours. University is a choice and if the PWC really can't afford to support their child at uni then they should apply for funding elsewhere or reconsider their options - any decent NRP will make a contribution (which we are doing, direct to the 'child') but we will not be paying half !

frugallass

LizzieS wrote: »

University isn't the choice it once was - in todays changing world, more and more children are needing the degree to simply get a minimum wage job (employers are simply picking higher qualified people).

I'd be interested to know where you get your information from

LizzieS_2

The couple do indeed move on with life, whether one has a partner who funds their lifestyle or a partner who hinders their lifestyle is neither here or there - both natural parents (and only natural parents) have a responisibility towards their child.

No-where did I suggest that one or the other parent should have control of the income so not sure where you got that idea from. What I did say is that there will be living costs accrued by the pwc (assuming child can travel to university from home) so in effect pwc will be making a contribution. There's still a lot more costs which a nrp can directly pay a contribution to his/her child for, eg books, clothes.

Comment on university being a greater help in working came from experiences of myself & others from within a working environment.

shell_542

Yes, both parents have a responsibility to their children, but to drag one to court when they are already contributing is going a bit far.

And yes, most parents probably would love their children to go to university, but many cannot afford to contribute a large amount financially. University is very expensive now and that is what the grants and loans are for.

I hope by the time our children go to uni, if they choose, that we could help them out a great deal financially, but if it were now we couldn't afford to and if they wanted to go, it would have to be them looking after themselves ... just like I did when I went. My parents visited, put me up in holidays, sent the odd food parcel but they couldn't afford to send me a certain amount of money every month to go towards rent, books etc. I had to pay that myself.

You never know Mark, if its being dealt with by the courts, they might actually take into consideration what you actually could afford ... unlike the CSA.

frugallass

LizzieS wrote: »

The couple do indeed move on with life, whether one has a partner who funds their lifestyle or a partner who hinders their lifestyle is neither here or there - both natural parents (and only natural parents) have a responisibility towards their child.

No-where did I suggest that one or the other parent should have control of the income so not sure where you got that idea from. What I did say is that there will be living costs accrued by the pwc (assuming child can travel to university from home) so in effect pwc will be making a contribution. There's still a lot more costs which a nrp can directly pay a contribution to his/her child for, eg books, clothes.

Comment on university being a greater help in working came from experiences of myself & others from within a working environment.

I didn't say anything about 'control' - you stated

you need the full benefit of both incomes to make the saving you could have had

and I asked

LizzieS are you saying that NRP's should pay half the cost of the 'child' going to Uni as well as support themselves and their new family?

anyway.......

I agree that both 'natural' parents have a responsibility to their child but we're talking about 18 year olds here, they're not really children anymore are they - they're big enough and clever enough to know that their NRP parent may also have other financial responsibilities

We simply cannot afford to fund half of the uni costs for his daughter

LizzieS_2

For the control, I was reading your post over your own pwc as suggesting I was saying nrp should pay pwc - which I wasn't.

I did answer your question over half the cost - I explained how both parents could make contributions in different ways, I deliberately did not state equal or half as it is impossible even under csa/court orders for both parents to make equal contributions - in other words I do not believe it to be possible in most situations.