Please define what "Child Maintenance" Covers

Mark666666

Does anyone know what an 18 year old child starting university but still living at home (and with the £3000 plus grant in place) can legally demand his NRP pays towards his expenses, using the Children Act? Does it compare with the CSA figure of 15%?

And would it be unreasonable to expect the child gets of its backside and at least does SOME part time work to help fund itself?

frugallass

Hubby's daughter started Uni in September, she's 18. The CSA liability has now ceased an the final payment will be made on 1st November - yippeee

Hubby had a phone call from the ex demanding we pay her £200 a month towards his daughter's uni expenses (CSA payments were £230 a month).

Hubby told her that she will be getting nothing from us and that we will make arrangements directly with, and to, his daughter (but it won't be £200 a month!).

His daughter has no legal right to 'demand' any payments from us towards her cost of living expenses and we are doing it because we love her and want to help out a little bit.

It's not unreasonable to expect a child to get off their backside and do some part-time work but whether they get that work or not is another matter.

Mark666666

Strange, because I am going through a similar thing except I have been threatened with court action regarding financial help towards my son's costs. Almost certainly brought about by a vile ex wife. She had no joy via a solicitors letter so must have pressured my SON to get a solicitor to basically threaten me with court action via this 'Children's Act?' which I'd never even heard of until recently? Incidentally I have NEVER had a cross word with my son and until 5 weeks ago was in regular contact. Such is the power of a bullying, vile ex wife, who has now effectively caused a split in a previously perfectly father-son relationship! I hope she is proud.

I must add I more than fulfilled my financial obligation to BOTH my children and have recently set up a standing order to pay my son money once a month, which he said he was grateful for. I also further intended to help him out by buying him clothes, maybe books etc but have been unable to even discuss this issue properly as he refuses to answer all texts and phone calls! I presume he has been advised by his mother/faceless solicitor to do so as the vile ex obviously wants more? already lost my 3 bedroomed house to her etc etc and live in a 1 bedroom flat. The only consolation is some other poor Bast@rd has to wake up next to her every morning these days!

Anyway I received another letter from 'Mediation Works' (on behalf of my sons solicitor (great this isn't it!) suggesting we discuss his financial arrangements through them, quote "as it's cheaper and less stressful than going to court"! Hence I will go for my FREE wow - first session to see if it's suitable to go through this organisation, then it's £105 per session thereafter. So I will be paying £105 for however many 'sessions' to tell my son something that would take me 5 minutes flat. Even then if the ex doesn't agree I believe they can still go to court. Who says the NRP doesn't get ripped off and sh*t on - even by his own kids, when I have never done a thing wrong?

woody01

The extra money that he should be giving us would go to those extras and being able to put money aside for their university education if they chose to do so.

1. I am sure most ex's would be happy to pay for the 'extras' for their children.
Its when they are contributing to the ex partners they are aggrieved and rightly so.

2. Why should he give YOU the money to put away for the University education? Surely if university is a possiblility, then he should be allowed to keep that money and fund further education then.


Too many PWC's think thye should have so hold over an ex's finances and this is where it falls down.

frugallass

Mark666666 wrote: »

Strange, because I am going through a similar thing except I have been threatened with court action regarding financial help towards my son's costs. Almost certainly brought about by a vile ex wife. She had no joy via a solicitors letter so must have pressured my SON to get a solicitor to basically threaten me with court action via this 'Children's Act?' which I'd never even heard of until recently? Incidentally I have NEVER had a cross word with my son and until 5 weeks ago was in regular contact. Such is the power of a bullying, vile ex wife, who has now effectively caused a split in a previously perfectly father-son relationship! I hope she is proud.

I must add I more than fulfilled my financial obligation to BOTH my children and have recently set up a standing order to pay my son money once a month, which he said he was grateful for. I also further intended to help him out by buying him clothes, maybe books etc but have been unable to even discuss this issue properly as he refuses to answer all texts and phone calls! I presume he has been advised by his mother/faceless solicitor to do so as the vile ex obviously wants more? already lost my 3 bedroomed house to her etc etc and live in a 1 bedroom flat. The only consolation is some other poor Bast@rd has to wake up next to her every morning these days!

Anyway I received another letter from 'Mediation Works' (on behalf of my sons solicitor (great this isn't it!) suggesting we discuss his financial arrangements through them, quote "as it's cheaper and less stressful than going to court"! Hence I will go for my FREE wow - first session to see if it's suitable to go through this organisation, then it's £105 per session thereafter. So I will be paying £105 for however many 'sessions' to tell my son something that would take me 5 minutes flat. Even then if the ex doesn't agree I believe they can still go to court. Who says the NRP doesn't get ripped off and sh*t on - even by his own kids, when I have never done a thing wrong?

What a terrible situation - it's a shame that your son is refusing contact yet seemed happy to accept your offer of contributions towards books etc - I would ignore the letter from Mediation Works and go and get yourself half and hour free advice with a solicitor specialising in Family Law

What exactly does the solicitor letter say?

Has your son started Uni yet?

Your ex sounds like an absolute nightmare !

frugallass

Kimitatsu wrote: »

The extra money that he should be giving us would go to those extras and being able to put money aside for their university education if they chose to do so.

So are you saying that your ex should pay you extra money for you to put away to fund your child's uni life?

Why can't your ex save the money himself?

What if your child decides not to go to uni - would you give your ex a refund?

Donedoingdebt

Mark666666 wrote: »

Strange, because I am going through a similar thing except I have been threatened with court action regarding financial help towards my son's costs. Almost certainly brought about by a vile ex wife. She had no joy via a solicitors letter so must have pressured my SON to get a solicitor to basically threaten me with court action via this 'Children's Act?' which I'd never even heard of until recently? Incidentally I have NEVER had a cross word with my son and until 5 weeks ago was in regular contact. Such is the power of a bullying, vile ex wife, who has now effectively caused a split in a previously perfectly father-son relationship! I hope she is proud.

I must add I more than fulfilled my financial obligation to BOTH my children and have recently set up a standing order to pay my son money once a month, which he said he was grateful for. I also further intended to help him out by buying him clothes, maybe books etc but have been unable to even discuss this issue properly as he refuses to answer all texts and phone calls! I presume he has been advised by his mother/faceless solicitor to do so as the vile ex obviously wants more? already lost my 3 bedroomed house to her etc etc and live in a 1 bedroom flat. The only consolation is some other poor Bast@rd has to wake up next to her every morning these days!

Anyway I received another letter from 'Mediation Works' (on behalf of my sons solicitor (great this isn't it!) suggesting we discuss his financial arrangements through them, quote "as it's cheaper and less stressful than going to court"! Hence I will go for my FREE wow - first session to see if it's suitable to go through this organisation, then it's £105 per session thereafter. So I will be paying £105 for however many 'sessions' to tell my son something that would take me 5 minutes flat. Even then if the ex doesn't agree I believe they can still go to court. Who says the NRP doesn't get ripped off and sh*t on - even by his own kids, when I have never done a thing wrong?

I think personally, I would completely ignore all correspondence from both the ex & her solicitor & try writing to your Son directly & keeping copies of everything, just in case.

I believe there is provision in law for a child to go to court to request that EITHER, or BOTH parents, whether separated/divorced or still together, (I think both parents would have to be 2 separate cases) contribute towards their university education. However, the outcome of such a case is far from certain as both the PWC & NRP can put forward their case to a Human Being (Unlike the CSA) as to why they either can't pay or why they can only afford £xxx amount.

The fact that you have already set up a standing order & are even contributing above this, I'm sure will work very much in your favour.

The only winners of the route that you're heading down at the moment will be the Lawyers. This really annoys me when solicitors threaten people, often without knowing the full circumstances, & try to act as if they're above the law.

It's possible they've told your ex that she's unlikely to get anything paid directly to her via the courts, so "Let's see if we can squeeze out of him, whatever he'll agree to pay by sounding menacing"

As I stated earlier, I wouldn't even bother replying to them & let her & them waste their time & money & see what develops. Remember, you are not liable for her solicitor's bills.

Mark666666

frugallass wrote: »

What a terrible situation - it's a shame that your son is refusing contact yet seemed happy to accept your offer of contributions towards books etc - I would ignore the letter from Mediation Works and go and get yourself half and hour free advice with a solicitor specialising in Family Law

What exactly does the solicitor letter say?

Has your son started Uni yet?

Your ex sounds like an absolute nightmare !

My son has just started Uni. the solicitors letters gives an inflated list of annual costs (including £5000 for board/lodging/food, which is unusual considering he is staying at home and my daughter who is working pays approx £2500 tops yearly for the same privilege! Work that one out for starters. It also includes £1300 for entertainment and sundries yearly! Cheeky bast@!*s! - yet at no point admits to my son already having a grant in place etc and that he intends to get a part time job. The letter states he COULD pursue me through the courts via the Children's Act. I am hoping that is just a veiled threat designed to scare me. I just KNOW this is not something would even WANT to do of his own volition, but sadly he must have succumbed to his so called 'mothers' bullying tactics. I love my son but he is showing signs of a yellow streak down his back. Goodness knows how he expects ME to react when all this is over. "Hi son, how are you doing".............!


And yes, the ex is the most vile person I have had the misfortune to meet in my entire life. She is only happy when she is putting the boot into someone - anyone! I could bet my own life she will be happy, even smiling at the thought she is in the process of destroying my sons relationship with me. Sad, wicked !!!!! that she is. She gets her kicks doing things like this. Even members of her own family don't rate her higher than a snakes belly and used to feel sympathy for me would you believe!. I always say that although my life isn't yet over, I KNOW that meeting her was the BIGGEST mistake I ever made - if that gives you any indication what I think of her. Apologies for going off on a slight tangent but it tends to get you this way!

shell_542

Blimey. How awful

frugallass

Mark666666 wrote: »

My son has just started Uni. the solicitors letters gives an inflated list of annual costs (including £5000 for board/lodging/food, which is unusual considering he is staying at home and my daughter who is working pays approx £2500 tops yearly for the same privilege! Work that one out for starters. It also includes £1300 for entertainment and sundries yearly! Cheeky bast@!*s! - yet at no point admits to my son already having a grant in place etc and that he intends to get a part time job. The letter states he COULD pursue me through the courts via the Children's Act. I am hoping that is just a veiled threat designed to scare me. I just KNOW this is not something would even WANT to do of his own volition, but sadly he must have succumbed to his so called 'mothers' bullying tactics. I love my son but he is showing signs of a yellow streak down his back. Goodness knows how he expects ME to react when all this is over. "Hi son, how are you doing".............!

And yes, the ex is the most vile person I have had the misfortune to meet in my entire life. She is only happy when she is putting the boot into someone - anyone! I could bet my own life she will be happy, even smiling at the thought she is in the process of destroying my sons relationship with me. Sad, wicked !!!!! that she is. She gets her kicks doing things like this. Even members of her own family don't rate her higher than a snakes belly and used to feel sympathy for me would you believe!. I always say that although my life isn't yet over, I KNOW that meeting her was the BIGGEST mistake I ever made - if that gives you any indication what I think of her. Apologies for going off on a slight tangent but it tends to get you this way!

And I bet you had no say in the matter up to him going to Uni - it's funny how they make all these plans then expect you to cough up at the crucial moment. I'm really hoping that the solicitor's letter has no legal standing and is just designed to make you feel threatened - you really should get some free legal advice yourself before you doing anything at all.

Some ex wives are pure evil - my hubby's ex always referred to me and my daughter as "that woman and child" even though we did nothing wrong, I met hubby about 5 years after he split up from her - and for the last 10 years she has done nothing but try to make our lives a misery and now the misery is almost over (well, I hope it is) and we don't have to have anything to do with her nasty, selfish ways again.

Do keep us informed x