we need a morale boost on this forum

savagevixen

coolcait wrote: »

FWIW, here’s my view as a newbie.

I was surprised by one of the leaving threads, which named a specific poster as part of the reason for leaving. I had read the threads in question, but hadn’t seen any ‘attacks’ or signs of ‘trollery’. I saw a very strong difference of opinion, and strong words and high emotions on both sides, but I think that’s very different. I also saw the ‘newbie’ give some pertinent advice on a point of regulations/law – which doesn’t seem like the kind of thing that trolls do, IMO. If other newbies see it the same way, will they be too intimidated to disagree with a regular? If they are, then that is morale sapping, IMO.

I’ve also seen – and continue to see – threads where established posters are making fairly personal insults to others posters, without censure (even getting thanked for their posts). I do wonder if forum members would react the same way if a newbie was making those personal insults. Again, this kind of behaviour – however justified the regulars feel it may be, and however much they may feel that the insults are deserved – is morale sapping, IMO.

I tend to lurk rather than post because I’m learning, and because I’m Scottish. What knowledge I have of bankruptcy, trust deeds etc is of little relevance to the majority of posters on here. I have tried to post where I can, and read avidly otherwise – trying to learn. But maybe it’s that element of detachment (due to different jurisdictions) which makes me so uncomfortable about some of the things I’ve seen?

If you meant mine, and I am not bothered if you did, to be fair it was a thread clearly entitled 'where is mike Sty Helens Bankruptcy Supporters website?' which I don't think is mis-leading anyone, even newbies, into thinking it is a grave bankruptcy thread. I responded to her comments, which were personal (on both sides) she has removed hers and I have removed the majority of the content of mine.

Richard_S

savagevixen wrote: »

...I didn't actually mean you were old:eek: it was just an expression, I don't come on to forums and try to insult people, honest. My bushy red tail is wagging hard XX

Foxy, you could slap me in the face with your bushy red tail, or any other part of your anatomy, and you'd never offend me.:D

In fact, I can't ever remember being offended.:rolleyes: :rolleyes:

Does that mean I'm inoffensive, or inoffendable, or offensive,:eek::eek: or maybe its time for another glass of whisky and bed.:beer::rotfl::rotfl:

Richard_S

coolcait wrote: »

FWIW, here’s my view as a newbie.

I was surprised by one of the leaving threads, which named a specific poster as part of the reason for leaving. I had read the threads in question, but hadn’t seen any ‘attacks’ or signs of ‘trollery’. I saw a very strong difference of opinion, and strong words and high emotions on both sides, but I think that’s very different. I also saw the ‘newbie’ give some pertinent advice on a point of regulations/law – which doesn’t seem like the kind of thing that trolls do, IMO. If other newbies see it the same way, will they be too intimidated to disagree with a regular? If they are, then that is morale sapping, IMO.

I’ve also seen – and continue to see – threads where established posters are making fairly personal insults to others posters, without censure (even getting thanked for their posts). I do wonder if forum members would react the same way if a newbie was making those personal insults. Again, this kind of behaviour – however justified the regulars feel it may be, and however much they may feel that the insults are deserved – is morale sapping, IMO.

I tend to lurk rather than post because I’m learning, and because I’m Scottish. What knowledge I have of bankruptcy, trust deeds etc is of little relevance to the majority of posters on here. I have tried to post where I can, and read avidly otherwise – trying to learn. But maybe it’s that element of detachment (due to different jurisdictions) which makes me so uncomfortable about some of the things I’ve seen?

You raise some interesting points there coolcait,

One of my criticisms when I first started posting on this Forum was the "Cliques" that seemed to prevail, but overall that isn't the case. Generally speaking, it's some of the members who've been around longest who's posts are edited the most, and who seem to attract the most criticism.

The more you post the more you become accepted; it's like real life in that respect.

Richard

wherediditallgo

LilyBart wrote: »

Scaredwitless,
I'm feeling guilty here for setting up the thread about clothing and court appearances.
Lily

Definitely don't feel guilty, Lily! No question is a stupid question, & no-one should feel that they can't ask a question for fear of what others may think of it. Your questions were valid ones, & the answers you got will be useful to others facing court appearances in the future.

LilyBart

Personally, I've found it fascinating how very emotional a subject bankruptcy is. I don't mean just for those who are going through it. I mean how extreme other people's reactions to it are. I'm sure that most of the intensity and irrationality of people's reactions to it comes from ignorance. For my part, before I came here I thought that bankruptcy was something only the very rich or the very poor did. I had visions of marshalsea prison versus visions of oligarchs sunning themselves on their yachts. Anyway, I think you'd have to be a very cursory reader of this forum to take away the impression that this is something anyone takes lightly.

coolcait

savagevixen wrote: »

If you meant mine, and I am not bothered if you did, to be fair it was a thread clearly entitled 'where is mike Sty Helens Bankruptcy Supporters website?' which I don't think is mis-leading anyone, even newbies, into thinking it is a grave bankruptcy thread. I responded to her comments, which were personal (on both sides) she has removed hers and I have removed the majority of the content of mine.

Ah well, anyone who reconsiders their first instincts, and amends them wholeheartedly and completely if they feel that they allowed instinct and emotion – rather that rationality – to lead them…

Is definitely a kindred spirit – if not a blood relative…;)


(Or me…:eek: )

Richard_S

LilyBart wrote: »

Personally, I've found it fascinating how very emotional a subject bankruptcy is. I don't mean just for those who are going through it. I mean how extreme other people's reactions to it are. I'm sure that most of the intensity and irrationality of people's reactions to it comes from ignorance. For my part, before I came here I thought that bankruptcy was something only the very rich or the very poor did. I had visions of marshalsea prison versus visions of oligarchs sunning themselves on their yachts. Anyway, I think you'd have to be a very cursory reader of this forum to take away the impression that this is something anyone takes lightly.

Well said Lily,

I was brought up in a council house and a millionaire by the time I was in my mid twenties; lost it all before thirty, and earned it back by the time I was just turned forty; only to lose it again by my mid forties; from rags to riches and back again; three times in one life time;:rolleyes::rolleyes::D:D and still counting.:T:T

coolcait

Richard_S wrote: »

You raise some interesting points there coolcait,

One of my criticisms when I first started posting on this Forum was the "Cliques" that seemed to prevail, but overall that isn't the case. Generally speaking, it's some of the members who've been around longest who's posts are edited the most, and who seem to attract the most criticism.

The more you post the more you become accepted; it's like real life in that respect.

Richard

I have to say I wasn’t talking about ‘cliques’ (I may be a newbie here, but I’m a regular on other non-financial websites, and I’ve seen the whole ‘clique’ thing come up again and again).

I think your final line is actually the key. “The more you post the more you become accepted”. And, IME, the more you are accepted, the more leeway you are given. Conversely, the newer you are, the more you have to mind you p’s and q’s.

More allowances will be made for the established member – in terms of perceived ‘provocation’; ‘they’re having a bad day’; ‘this is so not in character’ (based on the posts you’ve seen); and so on.

It’s a comment on human nature, rather than internet fora specifically.

blind-as-a-bat_2

coolcait wrote: »

FWIW, here’s my view as a newbie.
I was surprised by one of the leaving threads, which named a specific poster as part of the reason for leaving. I had read the threads in question, but hadn’t seen any ‘attacks’ or signs of ‘trollery’. I saw a very strong difference of opinion, and strong words and high emotions on both sides, but I think that’s very different. I also saw the ‘newbie’ give some pertinent advice on a point of regulations/law – which doesn’t seem like the kind of thing that trolls do, IMO. If other newbies see it the same way, will they be too intimidated to disagree with a regular? If they are, then that is morale sapping,

Your post, and the reaction to my farewell post is an example to the reason i decided to stop posting.

I was very careful not to insinuate nor accuse cabvol of being a Troll, because I don’t believe he was, he was just someone who worked for cab that was having a bad day, and a very bad day at that. But you yourself have read, and the others that answered that thread made it sound like he was just another troll or even worse made it sound as if I said he was.

But to come here as a newbie given his background and attack one post of mine, which was cut and pasted from one of this boards founders,s post,s, thousands of times over the last year or so, made me very angry, to the point I posted something really nasty, which I deleted promptly, but the fact remains I still WANTED to tear a strip of the poor guy

And that’s the reason I decided to stop posting, because the current atmosphere on this board is making me bitter to the point I posted what I did over what was a trivial matter. And as the above shows this is because everything that is posted is continually being mis read or ignored, or even twisted to some agenda.

The reason you didn’t see an attack as such is because it was a personal thing to me, and the reason it made me feel like that was why I decided to to at least take a step back from posting here, because it wasn’t that big a deal, which made my reaction even more worrying too myself.

So to set the record straight I left for the good of this board because of the way the posts from cabvol made me feel, not for what was put, nor because I saw it as acting like a troll.

If it had have been a simple Troll attack, it wouldn’t have got to me in the way it did and that’s what's wrong.

dalip

Richard_S wrote: »

Well, unless the photos Dalips being sending me are fakes, she's got much better legs than these gals. Not that I'm complaining, they're a beautiful vista, but I prefer my girls with fuller, more feminine thighs.:o:o:D

You mean like these rich:rotfl:

Just for the record i have not got chubby thighs:p