we need a morale boost on this forum

savagevixen

scaredwitless32 wrote: »

When I joined last year, this forum was totally different , I think, to how it is now.
To me, it seemed that the 'Inn ' was THE place to go for a little light humour, de-stress, have a bit of a laugh. . It's not like that here now, nearly every thread has a bit of banter, silly pictures and jokes in it. Now before you all jump on me , I DO agree that there has to be some relief to the stresses of the bussiness of BR, but that should maybe be done in one place like the 'inn' and not spread across the main forum. I think it takes away the gravity of BR totally!.
I guess what I'm saying is, the seriousness of this forum has to a degree been lost. I can totally understand why this place attracts TROLLS. If I was struggling to pay my debts and came across this forum at times I would be shocked :eek: by some of the questions and advice given. I also think that anyone reading this forum with problems will feel that maybe BR isnt such a big thing afterall
I maybe wrong, but I thought Phils post also hinted along the same lines, I dont think that it was just the Trolls or that it was time to move on, (althougn I would think that it did play a major part) but I took from his post that he didnt like the 'tone' either.

just my opinion

MSE Forum, is just that, a forum. Full of people from all walks of life, with all types of humour and ways of getting through things. As someone who has only visited briefly here and there since last summer, it hasn't really changed. Their have always been inuendo's and jokes, and as for the threads last year there were some amazing, very educational conversations, that were rude or hilarious, perhaps that is what happens when allsorts of people get together!
BR is a big thing, but it is also a VERY small thing. In life, it's one day, and over a year on, it is really ok. Whilst it should be treated seriously, and the decision to go bankrupt not made lightly, it is not like a terminal illness and it is not the end of the world. Terrified people should be made to realise it is really not that bad, especially once you have done it things get better everyday.
MSE is a massive forum, covering a huge range of topics, I think the more serious and grave approach would be found on a dedicated forum. That was found by searching for BR. This is a money saving forum, not an exclusive BR forum.
Essentially, I agree with you, but trolls are everywhere, and this board has people with a tendancy (due to circumstances very different to other boards) to take things a little too seriously.
It is just an internet forum after all. I did get all into it and emailed Martin on my high horse a while back, to be honest his reply was just that. It's a forum.

savagevixen

Richard_S wrote: »

I like my ears to be warm Max.:D:D

Oh Richie, not lowering the tone are you? X

LilyBart

Scaredwitless,
I'm feeling guilty here for setting up the thread about clothing and court appearances. You may have a point. Tone is very difficult to balance and perhaps as an open forum we have a responsibility to everyone in this position to seem responsible, serious, measured. But as Richard said, virtually every shade of emotion there is has been seen on these threads.
And I remember distinctly the first time I saw trolling: it was on the first post of a woman who was clearly distraught and ashamed and highly vulnerable, not in part of an obviously light-hearted thread. What I'm trying to say is, yes, I see what you mean. But equally, I think those who have an axe to grind will grind that axe regardless, and isn't this place - actually lots of places within one sub-board - for us not them?
Lily

wherediditallgo

I understand what you're saying, scared, but I don't agree when it comes to the humour side of things. I've only started using the Inn in the last few months, & even now have hardly used it. I like to think we can provide some light relief for someone in a thread without being relegated to one place to do it, otherwise the rest of the forum could feel like a very frightening cold place to be. Going BR is no picnic, but what did people do before the Inn started in April last year? Also, though there are some threads outside the Inn with humour expressed in them, it's certainly not the majority & I honestly believe that overall the forum is as serious about the intricacies of going BR as it ever was. Some people use humour as a way to deal with their problems publicly, even if they're crying inside. I do think though that it's becoming more obvious that some people either don't research going BR as well as they should do or more people think it's an option without really understanding what it's about. Hence some of the questions that are a magnet for those all too ready to berate BRs, eg can we keep our cars, what happens if you come into an inheritance. Those questions are like a red rag to a bull for some people, yet they are valid questions & should be answered.

The forum has changed from how it felt last year, but I think part of that is because we've also changed as people. 18 months ago, I was scared witless (excuse me purloining your name for a second ) about going BR, this time last year I was a few months into being BR & now I've been discharged for several months. I'm in a very different place mentally now from where I was before, as are most of us, & that will be the same for everyone as time & their lives move on. That's why, though it's sad to see people leave here, I think it's a good thing for them to feel able to move on & pass on the baton to others - the forum will mean different things to different people at different points in their lives. Support comes in different forms.

Unfortunately, going BR is one of those topics that will always have its share of detractors, just like the housing forum will always have those ready to jump on people who want to buy their relatives' council home for them under Right To Buy. The only thing we can do is resolve to answer posts as honestly as we can, & hope that those coming here to mock/criticise will see us for what we are - people trying to help others deal with a difficult situation as best they can.

coolcait

Wow, that's the third time I've tried to make the same point (on different threads) but it hasn't posted on any of them! Am I persona non grata? :rolleyes:

Testing, testing...:D

Richard_S

savagevixen wrote: »

Oh Richie, not lowering the tone are you? X

I'm too old to change or to give a damn Foxy,:D but not too old that I don't admire a pair of stockinged legs; on a woman I hasten to add, before Max really lowers the tone.:rolleyes::rolleyes:

savagevixen

Richard_S wrote: »

I'm too old to change or to give a damn Foxy,:D but not too old that I don't admire a pair of stockinged legs; on a woman I hasten to add, before Max really lowers the tone.:rolleyes::rolleyes:

Oh Never change old boy:p I hope your not about to dramatically farewell, as well are you?

Richard_S

savagevixen wrote: »

Oh Never change old boy:p I hope your not about to dramatically farewell, as well are you?

Funnily enough, I never think of myself as being old; the odd grey hair notwithstanding, but no dramatic farewells from me.

I fully respect, and understand other people's motives, but it just doesn't get me like that. I post when I can, and I enjoy helping out where and when I can; it's as simple as that.:D It makes up for having a desperately boring and unrewarding job.:rolleyes::rolleyes:

It's good to see your little red bushy tail around again too.:D:D

coolcait

FWIW, here’s my view as a newbie.

I was surprised by one of the leaving threads, which named a specific poster as part of the reason for leaving. I had read the threads in question, but hadn’t seen any ‘attacks’ or signs of ‘trollery’. I saw a very strong difference of opinion, and strong words and high emotions on both sides, but I think that’s very different. I also saw the ‘newbie’ give some pertinent advice on a point of regulations/law – which doesn’t seem like the kind of thing that trolls do, IMO. If other newbies see it the same way, will they be too intimidated to disagree with a regular? If they are, then that is morale sapping, IMO.

I’ve also seen – and continue to see – threads where established posters are making fairly personal insults to others posters, without censure (even getting thanked for their posts). I do wonder if forum members would react the same way if a newbie was making those personal insults. Again, this kind of behaviour – however justified the regulars feel it may be, and however much they may feel that the insults are deserved – is morale sapping, IMO.

I tend to lurk rather than post because I’m learning, and because I’m Scottish. What knowledge I have of bankruptcy, trust deeds etc is of little relevance to the majority of posters on here. I have tried to post where I can, and read avidly otherwise – trying to learn. But maybe it’s that element of detachment (due to different jurisdictions) which makes me so uncomfortable about some of the things I’ve seen?

savagevixen

Richard_S wrote: »

Funnily enough, I never think of myself as being old; the odd grey hair notwithstanding, but no dramatic farewells from me.

I fully respect, and understand other people's motives, but it just doesn't get me like that. I post when I can, and I enjoy helping out where and when I can; it's as simple as that.:D It makes up for having a desperately boring and unrewarding job.:rolleyes::rolleyes:

It's good to see your little red bushy tail around again too.:D:D

...I didn't actually mean you were old:eek: it was just an expression, I don't come on to forums and try to insult people, honest. My bushy red tail is wagging hard XX