Lies we tell our children?

Legacy_user · 22 March 2016 at 4:47PM

We teach our kids not to lie but when something bad happens the only thing we can do to keep them happy is to lie!

The last couple of weeks the kids have been fascinated by a toad living in the rockery at the bottom of our garden. They've been checking on him daily and named him Stampy

on Sunday i found Stampy being eaten by crows. He must have died during the night

The kids have been looking for him all over the garden, calling out his name and today started getting upset because they cant find him, so i told them Stampy had emigrated to a warmer rockery until spring when he'll return with his family! I just have to hope now some toads move in soon because i dont know where i can get toads from and Stampy definitely isn't returning :rotfl:

Have you told your kids any lies to prevent them getting upset?

AlisonHarrison · 22 March 2016 at 5:11PM

Like a lot of girls, my daughter was fascinated by weddings etc.
We got married abroad, so she wanted to know all about that. How different it was etc. So I told her that the wedding ceremony was held on the beach. She saw photos of that. But, for a laugh, I said that we then went into a forest and had to walk around a fire 7 times to make the marriage legal.
I then said that the only way we could ever get divorced was to return to exactly the same spot and walk the opposite way around.
I forgot all about this and years later she told me that she had told all of the girls at school about this, and it was only when she was about 16 did she realise that I had been having her on!
We still have not returned to the same spot BTW, so we are still not divorced.
She still says that she cannot believe I told her this, and what a fool she now feels for
1. believing it in the first place and
2. telling the girls at school

Peter333 · 22 March 2016 at 5:13PM

Telling lies isn't always the best idea, but if it saves them from hurt and upset, and they will never discover the truth, then a 'white lie' now and again can't hurt.

elsien · 22 March 2016 at 5:16PM

Not specifically to keep me happy, but some lies my parents told me:

Santa will be bringing you presents if you're good.
The tooth fairy will swap your tooth for money if you leave it under the pillow.
There is a god.

big5 · 22 March 2016 at 5:38PM

About 6 months ago, my husband and our toddler saw a dead hedgehog while they were walking down the road. My husband said the hedgehog was sleeping and not to disturb it. Yesterday we walked past the same spot and the toddler said "where's the hedgehog gone? It's tired and sleeping. It's gone home to bed." It's amazing what he remembers sometimes.

(Of course, if we had to explain the death of a family member or pet, we'd be honest about it and not say they were sleeping!)

wannabe_sybil · 22 March 2016 at 6:06PM

I had about half a dozen young kids in the street convinced that there was a dragon living in the outside cupboard under the front steps (previously outside toilet).

We hadn't got a lock on the door then, and there was nitromors inside as well as weed killer. I needed them to stay out.

I used to get my neighbour to bring me coal for the dragon's snacks.

reehsetin · 22 March 2016 at 6:24PM

AlisonHarrison wrote: »

I said that we then went into a forest and had to walk around a fire 7 times to make the marriage legal.
I then said that the only way we could ever get divorced was to return to exactly the same spot and walk the opposite way around.

You're half right for an Hindu wedding! - https://www.quora.com/Why-in-Indian-Hindu-wedding-Saat-fere-Seven-rounds-around-the-fire-is-taken-What-is-its-significance-and-what-are-those-seven-promises-grooms-make-while-taking-the-rounds

[Deleted User] · 22 March 2016 at 6:27PM

We actually try to be really true to our kids. We won't sugar coat it if people/animals die. They'll get the best explanations we can give to them in a kind way.

I do occasionally tell them they've got a sister who lives in the loft, and if they're not good I'll send them to live with her

FBaby · 22 March 2016 at 6:32PM

I don't agree in telling children lies to protect themselves. Disappointment is part of every day life and I think it doesn't help children to shelter them from it. It rarely is about the news any way but about how we deliver it. Of course, age is a big part of it, but any child who watches TV will know that toads get eaten.

The worse question is always going to be 'is it going to hurt'. I was face with it when DD had to go for an eye operation. People told me to tell her that it wasn't, but I think this only serves the purpose of providing reassurance and then betrayal. I felt more comfortable telling her that I wasn't sure, probably wouldn't but maybe some part of it might do a bit, but if it was the case, I would do everything I could to relieve the pain and I would be there with her at all time. That was enough to reassure her. I'm glad I did though as when she woke up, she was in great pain but the staff were great and told me to lie next to her in recovery and cuddle her and sure enough, that appeased her.

She is now a teenager but has said to me a number of times that she much prefers that I am honest with her even if it is to tell her what she doesn't want to hear as this way, she is prepared for anything.

pigpen · 22 March 2016 at 6:40PM

I have cats... mine know about dead!!!

I tell them I will behead/dissect them if they dont behave... clearly I have never done this!

santa/tooth fairy/easter bunny of course.

the biggest lie is 'in a minute' ... because nothing ever is.. I just hope they forget or delegate to the next competent person who walks by.

I dont think I do other than that..

LocoLoco · 22 March 2016 at 6:51PM

When our cat was a kitten (she's eight now) we took her to the vet to be neutered. I didn't want my son to worry about her having an operation (he was six at the time) so I said she was going to a party with her kitten friends. When we went to collect her she had a big bald patch on one side with stitches clearly showing so I told him she'd fallen off the bouncy castle

Fast forward a few years and we took our elderly cat to be put down, and I tried to soften it a bit by saying that once he'd died, he'd go up to the sky to be a star. My son, a bit older by this time, informed me that stars are made out of gas, not cats, and I shouldn't be so stupid

Lies we tell our children?

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