Divorce proceedings

trojan10_om · 29 November 2017 at 5:20PM

gonzo127 wrote: »

actually child maintenance is a legal amount of the income BEFORE essentials, the ONLY deduction made to the wage before child maintenance is calculated in the pension contribution.

with that in mind, you NEED to calculate the LEGAL amount of child support/maintenance you need to pay, and make sure you pay this, do it via bank transfer and label this as child maintenance, do not, and i mean this, do not EVER mix this payment in with any other payments, as you need to be clear when/if this goes to court that you have always paid the correct amount of child maintenance.

all other payments need to be calculated after this, and never used to reduce the child maintenance or mixed with it.

and personally i think you are being extremely generous with what you are considering offering, i would ask though is if you paid her over half of your wages, can you afford to rent somewhere yourself? as well as pay the bills and buy food etc,

if you can not afford to live yourself, then you are offering too much,

how long will your friends really want to keep on helping you by letting you sleep on their sofa, and denying them there own space and privacy? how fair is it on your friends to impose yourself on their life like you are doing???

Thanks for the advice, very useful.

If I was to offer standard child maintenance as a percentage of my gross salary it would be £400. If I included a separate payment of 50% towards the mortgage (£385) the total I would offer would be very similar £785.

I guess it could be seen as generous as I'm paying for 50% for something I'm not living in. But I'm really not sure I can offer less than 50%?

Comms69 · 29 November 2017 at 5:24PM

trojan10_om wrote: »

Thanks for the advice, very useful.

If I was to offer standard child maintenance as a percentage of my gross salary it would be £400. If I included a separate payment of 50% towards the mortgage (£385) the total I would offer would be very similar £785.

I guess it could be seen as generous as I'm paying for 50% for something I'm not living in. But I'm really not sure I can offer less than 50%?

Why are you offering anything at all?

trojan10_om · 29 November 2017 at 5:27PM

Comms69 wrote: »

Why are you offering anything at all?

Towards the mortgage? Because I own the house, I signed up to a 5 year fixed deal, I don't want to default on payment.

Anything I pay for the next 6 months, I will more or less get back when I sell my equity?

Comms69 · 29 November 2017 at 5:31PM

trojan10_om wrote: »

Towards the mortgage? Because I own the house, I signed up to a 5 year fixed deal, I don't want to default on payment.

But so did she. Why is it your problem?

Im not trying to be difficult, you can do as you wish. But sometimes asking the awkward questions can help people realise

gonzo127 · 29 November 2017 at 5:32PM

trojan10_om wrote: »

Thanks for the advice, very useful.

If I was to offer standard child maintenance as a percentage of my gross salary it would be £400. If I included a separate payment of 50% towards the mortgage (£385) the total I would offer would be very similar £785.

I guess it could be seen as generous as I'm paying for 50% for something I'm not living in. But I'm really not sure I can offer less than 50%?

if/when it goes to court, they will look at each persons 'needs' your needs will include the ability to house yourself, including bills, food, clothes etc etc, so you need to work out what YOU need to live, before you go offering her any more than the child maintenance.

so work out the child maintenance you need to provide.

then work out how much you need to live, without sofa surfing at friends houses, so actually renting your own place, paying council tax, gas/elec/phone/broadband/tv, buying food and clothes, travelling to and from work etc etc, honestly you should be creating your own statement of affairs (look on the debt free wannbe part of the forums for links to good SOA's) so that you can see just how much money you need to live a normal life.

once you know how much you need to pay for child maintenance, and to live your own life, then you can consider putting any spare money towards the upkeep of the house and your ex wife's life style.

do not do it before you know what you need, as then you are only setting yourself up to fail or struggle or annoying your friends to the point that they just kick you out.

Katapolt · 29 November 2017 at 5:43PM

I just want to add to this - please don't try and wrangle paying less child maintenance. It will only mess up 2 little people in that house.

Your kids might be young, but they need support.

Happier_Me · 29 November 2017 at 6:30PM

I just want to add to this - please don't try and wrangle paying less child maintenance. It will only mess up 2 little people in that house.

Your kids might be young, but they need support.

I think the OP has every intention of paying the child maintenance due. The question is whether he should pay more given that this will leave him unable to house himself adequately when his wife should be able to access benefits.

OP I'm on the fence with regard to you paying 50% of the mortgage. I would do as advised and work out the money needed to house, feed and clothe yourself etc! Include child maintenance. Completing an SOA might help. Then see what's left! But I see an argument for contributing towards a loan that you are legally obliged to pay on an asset that belongs to you. But your wife is also living there.

If you can afford to pay 50% then do so if you want to. If not then at least you can provide a counter offer knowing you've done the sums.

Mojisola · 29 November 2017 at 6:34PM

Happier_Me wrote: »

OP I'm on the fence with regard to you paying 50% of the mortgage. I would do as advised and work out the money needed to house, feed and clothe yourself etc! Include child maintenance. Completing an SOA might help. Then see what's left! But I see an argument for contributing towards a loan that you are legally obliged to pay on an asset that belongs to you. But your wife is also living there.

And recognise that the household won't be short of money because everything you give will be on top of the benefits that your ex is entitled to claim.

If she chooses not to claim, don't feel pressurised to making up for her decision by paying her more.

triple_choc_chip · 29 November 2017 at 7:03PM

gonzo127 wrote: »

actually child maintenance is a legal amount of the income BEFORE essentials, the ONLY deduction made to the wage before child maintenance is calculated in the pension contribution.

Thanks for the correction gonzo127

triple_choc_chip · 29 November 2017 at 7:10PM

trojan10_om wrote: »

Towards the mortgage? Because I own the house, I signed up to a 5 year fixed deal, I don't want to default on payment.

Anything I pay for the next 6 months, I will more or less get back when I sell my equity?

Maybe not, that will be for the court to decide when you do the financial part of the divorce, it could be 50/50, 70/30 or 100% to her, depends on both personal circumstances and you may have to wait until the youngest is 18 years to see your equity. It's a long road, don't start off too fast.

Divorce proceedings

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