Mrs S, family life and debt

wishingthemortgaheaway · 18 March 2018 at 10:41PM

Big hugs Mrs S.
I hope you have a good week.

debtaghh · 19 March 2018 at 7:04AM

Fresh week, hope it's a good one x

MeandO · 19 March 2018 at 10:03AM

The same thing happened with my ex's family when we split up - we went from being 'family' to me being accused of all sorts of things overnight and being ejected from the family. I later found out that my ex had lied to them about me, which probably hurt the most, but they continued to treat me beadly afterwards. I did exactly as you MrsS, and cut all the negative people out of my life. You do not have to put up with these people and you can choose who is and who isn't in your life. I soon felt better about the whole thing and was able to move on.

I now try my best to live by this philosophy - I try not to keep negative people around me - it's not always easy, but it's so easy to be dragged down by them so I try not to give them a chance to do so!

I can see why you've tried again with MrS, but you can now acknowledge that you've given it your best shot, it hasn't worked, so it's time to start building your life with the boys. Hang on in there sweetheart, I know how low it can make you feel, but it does get easier. Feel free to PM me if you want someone to chat to xx

louby40 · 20 March 2018 at 10:04PM

I too have been in a similar situation when I split with my ex husband. We spent some time apart and then together to see if we could make it work.

My boys were 3 and 5 when he eventually left for good. I came to realise that I couldn't keep having him back in the house and had to cut ALL ties. No days out as a family, no staying over for tea etc.

I had to go it alone. It was hard but every time he came back it was upsetting. He rented his own flat and started having the boys on his own.

When they were ill I just got on with it, when they were naughty, argued, fought and I felt like screaming I just got on with it.

They are now 14 and 18 and great kids!

MrsSave · 25 March 2018 at 8:47AM

Thank you for all your posts. It's so difficult to know what the right thing to do is, and how things will work long term. We had a proper 'chat' Thursday night, and things seem to have been much better since then. Who knows how things will even be by this time next week though!!!

Another week over, though. And an hour less of day today. I'm off to my parents for lunch today, so it will be lovely not having to cook. I've sorted out the freezer this morning. There was so much stuff in it, I didn't have a clue what we actually had. It's far more organised now!! I've also sorted out next week's meal plan and food shopping list this morning as well. Talking about food, I lost another 2 lbs at slimming world, so that's 6 lbs in 3 weeks. Slow but steady!!

Money wise, I should be getting £25 (I think) soon from switching energy suppliers through mse. I got an email this week saying it is on it's way! :j It's almost payday as well (Thursday) so I need to sort out next month's finances. I received a letter showing how much council tax I'll be paying this year, so can sort that into the budget.

Right, I'm going to make the most of a quiet house and child free time before I pick the boys up to go for lunch. Have a lovely Sunday x

MrsSave · 26 March 2018 at 10:36PM

Monday's disappeared somewhere. Ds2 decided that going to sleep when it was daylight was not happening last night. He naps fine in the day, but there was no way he was settling last night. Took 2 hours of screaming (him, not me :rotfl: ). Today I spent £15 on a blackout blind for his window. Wasn't a planned spend, but a must for my own sanity! Tonight, he was asleep within moments. The joys of children :rotfl:

As well as the £15 I also spent almost £5 on batteries :eek: The batteries in the boys' thermometer had gone flat and needed replacing, but it was one of those 3V cost a fortune ones. I bought a pack of 2 for £4.50.

Food shopping day today, as well. I ended spending £50 and a few pence. I guess it was a little on the expensive side, but I did get a lot. The majority came from Aldi, though I had to pop to Tesco to pick up a few extras. I bought lots of meat today, and spent around £16 between cooked and raw meat.

I also did a couple of loads of washing whilst ds2 was making up from his lack of sleep last night (3.5 hour nap today!!).

My credit card statement should be ready tomorrow, and it looks like it will be £200 ish cheaper than last month :j :j :j

Tomorrow I may take a few bags of rubbish to the tip, sort some of ds2's clothes out for his next size, another load of laundry and clean the oven.

MrsSave · 27 March 2018 at 8:29PM

I got half way through my list. I did a load of laundry, and took some rubbish to the dump. Other than that I haven't done lol that much except cook, play with ds2 and went to ds1's parents evening. His parents evening was fantastic, they gave targets (the ones I had predicted beforehand - he's not a fan of writing!!!) but his teacher said that his reading and maths were both excellent, way above where they expect them to be at his age, and that he's also very well behaved (on the whole at a guess. I'm sure he has his moments).

He had beige junk for dinner as a treat :rotfl: turkey dinosaurs and smiley faces

I stuck with my slimming world though, and made Chinese style crispy chilli beef for myself.

The credit card statement was online, so I have paid that in full. It was almost £200 less than last month so I'm super chuffed with that.

Work for me tomorrow, but I'm only in 2 days this weeks because of Good Friday. Thursday is also payday, so looking forward to being able to get everything sorted for April. I need to add up how much I've spent on food this month (though don't think I've spent a penny on eating out :j ).

MrsSave · 27 March 2018 at 8:46PM

I've quickly totted up the supermarket shops this month - £251.92, which works out at £62.98 a week (this week has been a 4 week month for me). It's too high, but could be a lot worse, basically.

I've just looked back, and during 2017 I spent an average £105 per week on food shopping. I'm very pleased with the reduction from that, especially as I feel like I'm buying 'better' food now, lots of raw ingredients and meat. There are some items I'm buying better quality versions of instead of however cheap I can get it despite how it tastes.

A little work to be done, let's see if I can get it under £60 a week next month (5 week month, so under £300 for April).

Edited to add: I've just looked back at February as well...

Month: £264.20
Week: £66.05

wishingthemortgaheaway · 27 March 2018 at 9:44PM

I think those grocery shops are good going Mrs S - does that include 'household things' as well as food?

My food for March is looking to be about £170 and household (which includes nappies, cat litter, cat food and some 1 off expenses' ) about £80.

I'd love to get it even lower but hubby does not believe it's food unless there is meat on the plate so that reduces the option of cheaper, meat free meals.

MrsSave · 28 March 2018 at 8:06PM

wishingthemortgaheaway wrote: »

I think those grocery shops are good going Mrs S - does that include 'household things' as well as food?

My food for March is looking to be about £170 and household (which includes nappies, cat litter, cat food and some 1 off expenses' ) about £80.

I'd love to get it even lower but hubby does not believe it's food unless there is meat on the plate so that reduces the option of cheaper, meat free meals.

Yes, it includes all household things (cleaning products, nappies, wipes, etc) as well as wine

It's very, very rare for me to eat a meal without meat as well!!

Mrs S, family life and debt

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