Mooloo's Joining up the dots in 2017

Savvy_sewing · 4 January 2017 at 10:52AM

Well I am not feeling brilliant today after late night arguments with DS and twin1, etc
I am lucky that I have not got to go to work today .
I won't be taking DS shopping unless he backs down and calls. I hope that he makes contingency plans for getting to work at the weekend as I have had enough at the moment.
As I feared the family from hell were the instigator yet again of causing chaos in my family.
I am sure it will all calm down eventually but today I feel pretty raw.
I have been looking at my SOA and my budget for January.
I am trying to see what is the best way forward to juggle the debt and the savings etc so that I can take back control of the debt and get it cleared faster.
I certainly don't want to be paying high interest rates for longer than necessary and I don't want to be in debt by the time I make the move to Oxford.
I have £6,179.62 worth of debt which is double this time last year and that doesn't include the wedding dress or other wedding related costs.
I have been re-reading MSE advice etc and will be looking for a credit card 0% or card shuffling if necessary.
I made a huge mistake of paying for the holiday on the card and paying the cash across before the statement arrived so they took the payment off the 0% deal first and now I am paying interest on the holiday instead.
I am planning to call my bank today and see if I can get a card from them and shift the debt to them for a lesser charge.
I have also still got to go to Mum's and run errands and I also want to take the decorations down and put the tree away today

ivyleaf · 4 January 2017 at 11:15AM

Oh Mooloo

So very sorry that you have yet more upset in your life ((HUGS))

Savvy_sewing · 4 January 2017 at 11:35AM

ivyleaf wrote: »

Oh Mooloo So very sorry that you have yet more upset in your life ((HUGS))

Thanks Ivyleaf, I will rise above it for the rest of the day and let them get on with it.
Just heard that the new windows will be coming on Wednesday so some preparation required to clear the furniture away from under the windows etc. That will cause some issues as beds, bunk beds, sofas and drawers are all in front of the windows and all rooms need access on the same day! Erm..... this will be tricky.
But I will have new windows and doors finally and then I can get decorated yeah!

I wonder if it will help with the mould that has come back everywhere with avengence

Savvy_sewing · 4 January 2017 at 5:33PM

The day certainly didn't go as planned, but does it ever?
I did the budget for January this morning, and mid morning went to see Mum and do her chores and then I went to see Biggest of Mooloo. I used my savings ( some of them), to pay for the Wedding Dress so that I didn't add debt to the cards. I babysat while she went food shopping and while kids were playing I applied via MSE link for the Barclays card and 0% over 42 months.
I was accepted and given a large limit. When the card arrives and is activated I will be able to move all my card debt onto the new card. Which I will then cut up and not use. I have set up a DD for starting in February paying £200 a month.
That is actually £100 a month less then the current cards payments add up to.
I will then only keep one of my old cards, to only use for things like holidays and car hire payments that will be cleared every month.

I can then use the £100 a month in my expenses to pay for the extra fuel that going to Oxford will create, and hopefully I will not have to struggle to make ends meet.
I will still be aiming to up my wage and reduce my benefit claims over time as well.
I have come home and put away the Christmas tree and decorations and the neighbour's been visited and a natter catching up on the last two weeks.
My post has arrived and my newest Self Helps book has arrived from America. So some night reading when I am not working on the business!
Dinner tonight is sausage, mash and baked beans.
I will have a look to see if I have a menu template somewhere to print off and get that done for the month ahead.

So not a bad day really.

Savvy_sewing · 5 January 2017 at 8:06AM

I have spent an hour with my mobile phone reading the emails etc. Used my SAD lamp and have had my first cup of tea. Now I have a few minutes left to update and get up. The new Hamster is using the wheel in his cage and its squeaking like mad, will need to find wd40 or similar I think!
Dgd lost a tooth last night and I didn't know it was loose. Mad scramble for the pound from the fairy! At 2.30 in the morning trying to find a tiny tooth and not wake her up was not fun. Eventually found it between two pillows!
The year begins properly for us today with back to school and work.
I have two evening gowns and a jacket sleeves to shorten today. So unless I am inundated with new work I will be working on the next lot of lessons today.
I need to get back on track with them.
Email from Brownies tells me the Pantomime is next Friday and I had forgotten. I won't be here and biggest was going to be having dgd for the weekend collecting her from after school club. But Brownies say dgd has to have a meal and be at the meeting point at 5.15 and won't be back until 10.30pm which will be far to late for biggest as she has very little ones.
I can see me having to try to make frantic changes to DGDs care or she will have to miss the Pantomime which will be a waste of money, a disappointment and probably mean that I will have to try to make time to take her if I can get tickets!
Slight disaster then.

Almost-free · 5 January 2017 at 10:59AM

I haven't been on for a while so I'm way behind Mooloo . Forgive me if I've missed something , but why are you having to pay for biggest's wedding ? You clearly aren't in any position to be doing so . I wouldn't be taking holidays if in debt either, as it would worry me to death, I know life is for living, but I would rather do without for a couple of years and get myself straight .

I'm horrified with what has happened with your son- you must be incredibly hurt to have been accused like that when you do so much for them . 'No good deed goes unpunished ' comes to mind! It's not even as if there isn't cause for concern,from what you have said . They should save indignation for when they have clean hands really!

I don't think you will ever be straight financially or that your children will be truly independent unless you consistently say no and make it clear they have to work things out for themselves . It's interesting that the current burdens you are taking are from the two who don't have special needs. If biggest can't afford things then surely a budget wedding should be on the cards - one that she pays for herself ?

I know it's in our nature to want to help our children - I have three myself , one of whom has become a daddy at the young age of 21. I offer help with nappies etc and they can come and eat here any time they want ( although they don't that often ) but I've felt it was important they learn to stand on their own two feet and so far they are, despite us living in one of the most expensive places to live. They are learning life skills that will help them for the rest of their lives and I don't want to interfere with that .

I expect to be thoroughly flamed for my post by your regulars and that's ok . I mean no offence Mooloo but hate to see these constant cycles you go through with your children, your finances and your partner. I think that's been more obvious to me because I haven't been keeping up with your diary and it was like reading one from a couple of years ago with nothing changing . You are a lovely, hardworking and loving lady and I so wish things could be easier for you .

Savvy_sewing · 5 January 2017 at 2:01PM

I didn't pay for the holiday, and the shop would have been closed anyway.
I agree that I am gutted about my son.
I am helping biggest because her father is not in a position to.
I am only paying for the dresses. She will be paying me back for the transportation if I have to help with that. The problem was that the wedding was all booked up and she thought her partner was financially secure except it came out that he had 12 years of debt behind him that he was ignoring so she is tackling the debt and juggling the payments on their deadlines. He is earning good money and now that the debt is acknowledged he is doing something to sort it. But I know that it is not ideal.
I believe that I am always the type of person to help others not only my family and I am proud that I have that philosophy rather than not.
I know I frustrate myself and you.

dktreesea · 5 January 2017 at 2:39PM

Hi Mooloo, I'm sorry to hear about the ruckus with your son and his family. Maybe for their debt it might be better to get them in touch with someone like Stepchange, rather than just pay things off for them? But hey, everybody does what they think is best at the time, i.e. when the crisis emerges.

Their neighbours don't surprise me, i.e. if they are the ones who told DS and his family you had reported them to the social. My DD tells me tales of exploitation between poor people that just makes me think the relentless grind of poverty makes people do whatever they can to get their hands on resources for themselves and other people's, if they can get away with it. Of course they would want to interfere in your relationship with your DS and his family if it was influencing their grip on that family. I hope your DS comes to his senses.

I do find his reaction surprising though. What exactly are his neighbours doing for him compared to everything you do for him? And why would he trust what someone else is saying over you? Does he really think so badly of you that you would involve the social?

LKRDN_Morgan · 5 January 2017 at 3:29PM

Mooloo wrote: »

I didn't pay for the holiday, and the shop would have been closed anyway.
I agree that I am gutted about my son.
I am helping biggest because her father is not in a position to.
I am only paying for the dresses. She will be paying me back for the transportation if I have to help with that. The problem was that the wedding was all booked up and she thought her partner was financially secure except it came out that he had 12 years of debt behind him that he was ignoring so she is tackling the debt and juggling the payments on their deadlines. He is earning good money and now that the debt is acknowledged he is doing something to sort it. But I know that it is not ideal.
I believe that I am always the type of person to help others not only my family and I am proud that I have that philosophy rather than not.
I know I frustrate myself and you.

To be blunt that is excuse after excuse. You said in another post you made the mistake of paying for the holiday on a card but are now saying you didn't pay for it? Did you mean a different holiday? More than 1 holiday when you're in debt with a low income and benefit top-ups is a luxury.

Read the DFW section. Consolidating debt onto a card or taking out a loan is the worst thing you can do unless you have the willpower to not accumulate further debt. With all due respect you don't see to have any. It's a disaster waiting to happen

As for helping your daughter because her father isn't in a position to is crazy. Its 2017. It's no longer the norm for the father of the bride to cough up and you shouldn't feel obliged to either. Surely your daughter should be refusing your offer instead of pilling more onto it? The dresses and now possibly the transport. You're being taken advantage of left right and centre but you continue to make excuses.

Mooloo until you see the light this won't change.

Savvy_sewing · 5 January 2017 at 8:29PM

I booked the holiday using my credit card, and Mum gave me a cheque to pay for it. Unfortunately I used the credit card that had a 0% balance transfer still on it. Budgeted to be paid off well before the deal was due to end. However I made the mistake of paying the holiday amount before the statement was created and so Halifax took it odd of the 0% deal and leaving the holiday deal as a transaction that now is not on a 0% meaning that it is accruing interest that I had not expected.
My mother gave me £1,000 for Christmas and I have used £800 of that to pay for the dress. That is not adding to my debt.
I have addressed the rest of the debts by following MSE advice and getting a new 0% deal where I will pay all debt across so I don't pay interest.
I am then only paying one card instead of 3.
I do have savings that are increased each month, after having the new car and the drive done last year. I am keeping the cash until my dental work has been paid for, then I will put all but my Emergency funds towards the debts if necessary.
I will be cutting up the new card so I don't make the mistake of using it again and I will close two of the other cards.
Looking at the budget I worked on for this year I will be able to afford the card repayment and I will have £100 a month for emergency fund and £100 for Holiday funds.
I don't think that that is bad.
I don't see why I have to not have holidays. The weekend away for BF is paid for and I have Euros already for any extra spending.
The holiday that I take dgd on at Easter was paid for last year, and I have £600 in the holiday fund for spending etc.
I think that I am pretty organised.
the emergency fund is back up to £500.
So I think I am very much back in control after rescuing my daughter's wedding and stopping bailiff for my son ( even though he doesn't deserve it at the moment).
I have every confidence that I will manage.

At work I had a good meeting with the accountant and I had a positive day with work coming in all day.
I only took £75 today but that's not bad for my first day back, and I have every confidence I will get more work each day.

Mooloo's Joining up the dots in 2017

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