Renovations and Repayments.

AlexLK · 1 May 2016 at 9:39PM

smallholdingsister wrote: »

What helps you to feel better Alex?
Can you do more of it?

When things aren't too bad, I enjoy walks out with my son and dog, driving my cars and playing music. However, some days I can hardly face getting out of bed and then nothing seems to make me feel better. When my wife got back this evening, the first thing she said to me was "you look awful".

LadyGnome wrote: »

Alex, I've been reading through your diary over the last few days and I think it's clear that you have got your spending issues under control but your wife hasn't. She is prioritising her wants over the family's needs. There is not a lot you can do about it unless you are prepared to risk a major row which probably isn't something you would want to handle right now. I actually think you need to work on your spreadsheet for a bit so you have a clear view of the financial position so you can tackle her unemotionally with factual evidence.

One suggestion for your spreadsheet that works for me is that I split big annual bills like insurance into 12 monthly instalments and save one 12th each month. I have to pay £145 car tax at the end of the month. I have saved £13 per month since my last car tax payment and now have £156 sitting in my holding account (a savings a/c I use for saving up for bills etc). I estimate insurance costs by adding a bit to the last annual bill. It doesn't matter the estimate is not exact as any shortfall won't be major and any surplus is a ready made overpayment.

Thank you.

I have got a lot better at only spending money when I need to. My wife hasn't, you're right. Also right that I don't want to handle an argument. Truth be told I never do, usually agree she's right just to put an end to it.

I'm going to work on my spreadsheet for two months, noting her spends but not confronting her. At the moment, she's unaware I've started a spreadsheet.

Really like the idea of saving bills in a savings account, ready to be paid when the time comes.

Thanks for that, I've got an instant saver account and will start doing that. Hopefully earn a little interest and as you say any surplus can go towards the mortgage.

smallholdingsister · 1 May 2016 at 10:25PM

You need to choose something and keep on doing it.

AlexLK · 2 May 2016 at 5:03PM

Spreadsheet updated. Had some invoices paid and a low spend day of £5.08.

Realised it doesn't take long to update the spreadsheet and I've added another table to keep track of the balances in our accounts.

Wife thought I was crazy for writing the amount spent in a shop on my phone so as not to forget but it took less than a minute and I didn't have to think about it until we got home.

I now also have an electronic copy of my diary, something my wife thinks I should've done long ago.

Haven't felt well at all today as I've somehow managed to pull some muscles in my neck / shoulder but did go out for a walk this morning and had a picnic for lunch. Was nice to spend some time together as a family, even my wife seemed to enjoy it. Must have done something right as she's cooking dinner.

Not looking forward to having two dogs tomorrow if the weather says as is and I'm still in pain.

Smallholding: I agree in principle but on some days I just can't face it.

smallholdingsister · 2 May 2016 at 5:59PM

I hear you Alex. So make it something small on those days.

AlexLK · 2 May 2016 at 9:59PM

smallholdingsister wrote: »

I hear you Alex. So make it something small on those days.

I know I need to do this.

In the moment, I don't seem to manage it and often regret having a bad day come bedtime which leads to me not being able to sleep and the whole cycle has begun again.

Still in pain, think I'll have to raid the medicine cabinet tonight. Dreading having two crazy dogs tomorrow but as wife seems to think having the two of them will be amusing, I've volunteered her to take both of them for their evening walk tomorrow. :rotfl:

Son back to school, wife back to work tomorrow. They're both taking lunch so that's going to be cheap. Glad wife is wanting to eat healthily after an excessive weekend because that means she won't be spending on caf! lunches.

I've got a fair amount of work to do but mainly at home.

Going to update the finances in a moment with final balances in each account.

Actually feeling like I'm really taking responsibility for my finances for once. Also been thinking about the iPad, as much as I would like to try one, I'm going to review the finances closer to the holiday and decide with a week to go (to allow for delivery).

AlexLK · 2 May 2016 at 11:55PM

Updated my spreadsheet. Next thing you know I'll be creating one for the mortgage and colouring bricks in.

Seriously, I hope I manage to make this into a habit.

A_Frayed_Knot · 3 May 2016 at 12:23AM

Hi Alex

Sorry I've been awol for some time, but have been reading trying to keep up with your diary. Loads going on with you

Good to read your getting to grips with spreadsheets

and you sound as if your enjoying it :j

Really don't know where to start, didn't know challenges were stressful for you, as the last thing I wanted to do was give you any pressure, but you still managed a £250 gain :T and even read that you managed to declutter one room :T and you felt good about that :T

Keep up the good work and when you find a chart house with the bricks to colour in, let me know, I'm very interested

AlexLK · 3 May 2016 at 10:51PM

Little to report, today has been a working day. However, the spreadsheets are updated and a low spend day of £7.32.

It's been a welcome NSD for wife.

Managed to get a little closer to prepping one of the cars for sale.

Currently have two dogs: mine and parents' as they've gone to Spain. Still in a fair amount of pain but am slightly better but pleased my wife took the dogs for their evening walk. Son had a good day at school for once despite making an awful mess of his uniform (painting).

A_Frayed_Knot wrote: »

Hi Alex

Sorry I've been awol for some time, but have been reading trying to keep up with your diary. Loads going on with you

Good to read your getting to grips with spreadsheets and you sound as if your enjoying it :j

Really don't know where to start, didn't know challenges were stressful for you, as the last thing I wanted to do was give you any pressure, but you still managed a £250 gain :T and even read that you managed to declutter one room :T and you felt good about that :T

Keep up the good work and when you find a chart house with the bricks to colour in, let me know, I'm very interested

Yes a lot going on, fortunately though today has been better.

I am so far enjoying updating the spreadsheets. It appears my control freak side is alive and well. :eek:

I need the challenges. I find they focus me when I'm in the right state of mind. The stress usually comes when I'm not in a good frame of mind, which I haven't been. To be honest, I'm starting to see my thought patterns are making all areas of my life difficult because I view everything so negatively. I did have a course of CBT but at the time I found it of little use, now I think it could really help.

Need to carry on with the declutter and do want to complete my challenges but realise that aiming to complete in one month was a bit ambitious for me. Sorry I let you down.

A_Frayed_Knot · 3 May 2016 at 11:26PM

AlexLK wrote: »

Little to report, today has been a working day. However, the spreadsheets are updated and a low spend day of £7.32. It's been a welcome NSD for wife.

Keep up the good work

Managed to get a little closer to prepping one of the cars for sale.

Nice to hear your still have this mind

Yes a lot going on, unfortunately though today has been better.

:doh:should that not be "fortunately"

I am so far enjoying updating the spreadsheets. It appears my control freak side is alive and well. :eek:

:rotfl:Know the feeling, a bit of a control freak myself, sometimes I call it ocd :rotfl:, sometimes

I need the challenges. I find they focus me when I'm in the right state of mind. The stress usually comes when I'm not in a good frame of mind, which I haven't been. To be honest, I'm starting to see my thought patterns are making all areas of my life difficult because I view everything so negatively. I did have a course of CBT but at the time I found it of little use, now I think it could really help.

A focus is good, hence the challenges but didn't know you put stress on yourself. They are meant to be enjoyable :eek: to be honest on seeing your challenges - you aim high nothing wrong with that as you done extremely well on your 1st and 2nd challenges :j so don't be so hard on yourself. Put your course to good use.

Need to carry on with the declutter and do want to complete my challenges but realise that aiming to complete in one month was a bit ambitious for me. Sorry I let you down.

Great you are carrying on with the declutter, and have your challenges still in your mind. And certainly nothing wrong with an ambitious challenge - (have a look at my signature :eek:) if I don't get there - I certainly won't feel I let anyone down, will feel proud that at least I tried - thats the main thing, and I'll be far better off than if I hadn't tried. You certainly haven't let anyone down - look at the positive - you are £250 up - bonus, started decluttering - bonus, started preparing the car(s) - bonus, started spreadsheets - bonus, do I need to go on ...... you are doing great :T

Dare I ask, what challenge 3 is - maybe updating your shiney new spreadsheet every day ?

AlexLK · 3 May 2016 at 11:55PM

A_Frayed_Knot wrote: »

Keep up the good work

Nice to hear your still have this mind

Thanks.

Yes, some of the cars need to go. Bought two to sell, they obviously need to go and two cars of ours need to go as we've got replacements.

Currently got 7 cars, will soon be 8 and it's getting unmanageable.

A_Frayed_Knot wrote: »

:doh:should that not be "fortunately"

:rotfl:, I have edited.

A_Frayed_Knot wrote: »

:rotfl:Know the feeling, a bit of a control freak myself, sometimes I call it ocd :rotfl:, sometimes

Unfortunately it's something else I must keep in check but trying to put that side of me to good use at the moment (spreadsheets).

A_Frayed_Knot wrote: »

A focus is good, hence the challenges but didn't know you put stress on yourself. They are meant to be enjoyable :eek: to be honest on seeing your challenges - you aim high nothing wrong with that as you done extremely well on your 1st and 2nd challenges :j so don't be so hard on yourself. Put your course to good use.

The challenges I set were me trying not to aim high.

I have very unrealistic expectations a lot of the time. When I used to work full time, everyday was a 12/13 hour day, I didn't switch off when home and would find work to do every evening and weekend all because I was unable to accept "defeat" and hated the thought of anyone else needing to get involved. It contributed towards making me very ill, hence the need to keep my control freak side in check.

As for doing well, my first I managed 50% but do have another set of wheels still for sale. Know the time frame has passed now. The second challenge was a disaster; I didn't even make an overpayment last month.

A_Frayed_Knot wrote: »

Great you are carrying on with the declutter, and have your challenges still in your mind. And certainly nothing wrong with an ambitious challenge - (have a look at my signature :eek:) if I don't get there - I certainly won't feel I let anyone down, will feel proud that at least I tried - thats the main thing, and I'll be far better off than if I hadn't tried. You certainly haven't let anyone down - look at the positive - you are £250 up - bonus, started decluttering - bonus, started preparing the car(s) - bonus, started spreadsheets - bonus, do I need to go on ...... you are doing great :T

Dare I ask, what challenge 3 is - maybe updating your shiney new spreadsheet every day ?

Declutter will be something that happens very slowly but I do intend for it to happen, at least.

I think you have the right attitude. Unfortunately, I don't.

Challenge 3 was meant to be to sell the cars I'd bought to sell but we're going away at the end of the month so may I make it to update my spreadsheet everyday, please?

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