MMD: Should I pay more than my partner?

PurpleGoldFish · 6 March 2018 at 11:39PM

My partner and I have been together for years. Both salaries are combined and then divided 50:50 and we split the cost for everything. We chose this way as we didn!!!8217;t wanna be one of those couples that argues about who spent what from the joint account.

It works for us, he buys PlayStation Games, New Phones, Cigarettes, etc...but it!!!8217;s his money once it!!!8217;s divided. I know we!!!8217;re lucky in that we have £1500+ spare each month, but I wouldn!!!8217;t have it any other way. 50:50 we!!!8217;re a team.

Augustus_the_Strong · 7 March 2018 at 12:29AM

Yes. It's reasonable for each of you to pay a proportion of your income into a joint account to pay household bills.
What you each do with the rest of your incomes is up to you.

Teacher2 · 7 March 2018 at 7:46AM

After so many years together you don!!!8217;t seem to be sharing your finances. Do you mean to stay together?

My other half, who has always earned more than me, and I have shared our accounts and our money from the start as it works out better for both of us. We have similar attitudes to money and are frugal savers rather than splurgers. We avoid debt and save and our assets, such as the house and ISAs, belong to both of us. He can trust me and I trust him otherwise this policy would not work.

It might seem unfair that he earns more but seems to have the same but my pension is now larger than his and I have never been a !!!8216;splurgy!!!8217; wife who insisted on lifestyle and expensive pampering. Now retired, I do domestic jobs, house maintenance, decorating and gardening which would cost thousands of pounds were we paying it with the additional employment taxes and VAT.

As I say, approach depends on mutual trust but I recommend it.

Primer · 7 March 2018 at 7:48AM

Yes I think it's fair that the higher wage earner pays a bigger proportion, that's what I do anyway, we've been together for 12 years, married for 8yrs and split the household bills 50 50 from a joint account but I also pay for the car loan for our cars which is virtually the extra I get paid per month. My wife often insists that it's not fair I do this and she should contribute towards it but I tell her it's ok as I earn more.

My ex wasn't like that, she paid less towards the bills from day one and then when she got a good promotion and earnt more than me she still only paid the lower amount and didn't see why she should change what she paid, hence why she is an ex, funny though as she demanded a 50% split when we broke up.

buzzard · 7 March 2018 at 8:31AM

If my partner wasnt prepared to share everything they had with me I would feel there was something wrong in the relationship. Do you have different attitudes to spending and saving and if so can you reconcile these or will your relationship be at risk from this long term?

If you agree that major spending decisions are taken together then you should share what you have with anyone you love.

kate335 · 7 March 2018 at 8:37AM

I have lived with my partner for nearly 4 years and when we moved in we agreed an amount to pay into a joint account to pay for the household bills and joint enterprises. Any additional bills we split 50:50.

I know that at the time we earned roughly similar amounts and what his pensions are etc when we sorted wills but I know nothing more about his finances since then and he does not interfere with my finances , what we do with our spare cash is up to us as long as we pay for our responsibilities. Both of our wages have changed in the meantime......and yes we do intend to stay together. We both use the same household facilities therefore we pay the same amount as far as we are concerned.

sal1960 · 7 March 2018 at 8:47AM

We have always pooled our resources and consider ourselves a team. Sometimes Mr S earned more and sometimes I did - all our money went into the team account for both of us to use. I think when you have children and one of you stays at home to look after them it would be difficult to maintain a your money/my money approach.
We took the view that both contributions were equally important
Works for us .

ayresm · 7 March 2018 at 9:11AM

I earn a little more than my girlfriend who is a few years younger. When we go out, we generally split the bills and I pay 2/3 and she pays 1/3. If our salaries were more equal we’d split more evenly.

Our view is that after tax and essential costs (rent, heating, broadband etc.) the acual disposable income I have to spend on non-essentials is actually a lot more, so it only feels fair (in our personal circumstances) that I take more of the burden for us to both enjoy the finer things together.

Simplified example - lets say she earns £2000 a month and I earn £2,500. After essential costs of £1,750 a month each, she has £250 remaining and I have £750. So a 50/50 split meal out of £100 (£50 each) will use 20% of her budget but only 7% of mine. By splitting it £33 and £66 it hits her non-essentials budget by 13% and mine by 9%. So limited impact to me but a big help to her.

This is what works for us because we’re both happy with the approach, but it probably wouldn’t work if it felt like charity.

onomatopoeia99 · 7 March 2018 at 9:21AM

Normal advice on here to a woman when the man earns more is you should both have the same amount left over once the household bills are paid. We're 20 posts in and that hasn't come up now, as it's the woman earning more. Strange (not strange).

You will get a reactionary contingent saying that if you don't merge your finances then you don't intend to stay together, which is of course errant nonsense. I have few friends but I know couples that have been together decades and have grown up children that have never merged their finances. I don't know where people get these ideas.

Ultimately it's what works for you both, the rest of us should keep our noses out.

WorldTraveller_2 · 7 March 2018 at 9:22AM

My husband and I have a joint account which everything comes into and goes out of - at one point I earned more than him, now it's the other way around but that hasn't mattered. As well as the joint account we each have separate savings accounts which we pay into on a regular basis - that way we both have our individual pots of money as well as the general everyday money. It's always worked for us and we've never had any issues about money.

MMD: Should I pay more than my partner?

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