When is infidelity infidelity?
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glentoran99 wrote: »You would think this wouldn't be a big ask of a spouse?
How does one control the reaction of their spouse?0 -
A friend has discovered that her husband has been flirting with a random woman he met on FB. This has been done over messenger and has been going on for a while. She knew that they were chatting but had no idea that it had become flirty, she has now discovered that they are facetiming when she is not home.
If he's talking to this woman in ways that he wouldn't if his wife was sitting beside him, then he's out of order whether it's officially an 'affair' or not.0 -
Really? That's incredibly subjective, no-one can determine or control how another may feel or react to a circumstance.
A reasonable person test is much more useful.
Would a reasonable person be upset - ofcourse
But would they classify it as an affair - well that's the discussion
(for what it's worth, no this isnt an affair imho)
But... the only real judgement that is relevant is that of the people involved.
This is not a court of law or employment disciplinary.0 -
Do you require a dictionary definition then?Advent Challenge: Money made: £0. Days to Christmas: 59.0
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Infidelity (which is what was asked about in the title, rather than "an affair" ) is when intercourse takes place, at least as far as getting a divorce is concerned, according to the government website.
"An affair" would typically involve a degree of physical intimacy, which would not necessarily include intercourse.
Having a female friend and sharing emotional problems with them or just laughing and chatting is not infidelity nor an affair. I do that with a couple of different female friends. I have never had sex with or even kissed either in over fifteen years of friendship (well, I kissed one on the cheek once, on her wedding day). Any man involved with a woman who thinks they should not have other female friends now they're with her should run away very fast. :eek:Proud member of the wokerati, though I don't eat tofu.Home is where my books are.Solar PV 5.2kWp system, SE facing, >1% shading, installed March 2019.Mortgage free July 20230 -
onomatopoeia99 wrote: »Infidelity (which is what was asked about in the title, rather than "an affair" ) is when intercourse takes place, at least as far as getting a divorce is concerned, according to the government website.
"An affair" would typically involve a degree of physical intimacy, which would not necessarily include intercourse.
Having a female friend and sharing emotional problems with them or just laughing and chatting is not infidelity nor an affair. I do that with a couple of different female friends. I have never had sex with or even kissed either in over fifteen years of friendship (well, I kissed one on the cheek once, on her wedding day). Any man involved with a woman who thinks they should not have other female friends now they're with her should run away very fast. :eek:
From the OP, this appears to have moved on from the level of what most of us would consider a 'friend'. If there was nothing untoward, they wouldn't have to wait for the wife to be away before facetiming or whatever else it is they're doing.
It isn't an affair, nor an act of infidelity, however it is not the behaviour expected of a married man. What the behaviour can lead to is where the problem lies.0 -
This. If it was an innocent friendship then there would be no need for subterfuge. If he's writing messages that he would be unhappy for his wife to see then he's probably acting out of order. Whether what he has done merits the end of the relationship really depends on how far these communications have gone. Flirty chat can perhaps be forgiven. Web-cam sex, on the other hand, probably can't be.If he's talking to this woman in ways that he wouldn't if his wife was sitting beside him, then he's out of order whether it's officially an 'affair' or not.0 -
This. If it was an innocent friendship then there would be no need for subterfuge. If he's writing messages that he would be unhappy for his wife to see then he's probably acting out of order. Whether what he has done merits the end of the relationship really depends on how far these communications have gone. Flirty chat can perhaps be forgiven. Web-cam sex, on the other hand, probably can't be.
Not wanting to show his wife the messages is a good indicator of how far they've gone with it. I know from personal experience that when someone sends these types of messages, then is caught, and subsequently deletes them all before you can even know their content, the relationship takes on a totally different dynamic, not least in terms of trust.0 -
Facetiming when Wife is not there, I would say there is more to it.0
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