Money Moral Dilemma: Should I stop paying for my host?

Former_MSE_Nick · 24 August 2015 at 1:06PM

This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

A friend of mine has kindly offered to let me stay at her place while I find work in London. While I chip in very little to stay there, I end up paying for a lot of her everyday costs - food, drinks etc. It still adds up to less than what I'd pay for rent anywhere else, but I just don't have the money to fund her while I'm not working. Should I just stop or move out?

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rachiibell · 25 August 2015 at 9:36PM

Since she's a friend talk to her!!

Maybe take it in turns to buy and cook dinner each night or do a weekly shop together and agree on a budget beforehand. When you have a guest staying it's easy to go a bit overboard and spend more than you're used to so she might be glad to cut back on things a bit too.

DandelionPatrol · 25 August 2015 at 9:43PM

Nick, this is the House Buying, Renting & Selling forum and your post seems to be a bit off-topic, more suited to the Marriage, Relationships & Families forum.

Perhaps if you ask, a mod will move it for you?

ClaireD85 · 25 August 2015 at 9:44PM

Pay your way.

Innys1 · 25 August 2015 at 9:49PM

What's the alternative? Rent and end up paying probably treble the cost?

Either pay up or move somewhere (a lot) cheaper.

PasturesNew · 25 August 2015 at 9:58PM

You've not provided us with data in which to have a proper answer.

How are you paying for her food/drink? If I've bought a 40p loaf and some cheap marg then I wouldn't begrudge her having some toast!

good_advice · 25 August 2015 at 10:04PM

Hiya, I think it is very kind of your friend to let you stay in her pad/ personal space.
You say you pay towards food and drink. Is that at home or eat out?
I think I would do a grocery shop once a week to share, of what you are willing to spend and say thats it. Stop going out to bars/ restaurants etc....
London is not cheap!

Wile staying at the flat try to be a helpful guest.
= wash the dishes, empty bins and offer to cook the dinner.

Give your friend some space. Go to a diffrent room or go out for a hours walk.

Good luck with the job hunting.

G_M · 25 August 2015 at 11:00PM

Is this another of the Moneysaving hypothetical scenarios?

We have had this before - if it ain't a real problem with a real person needing help, keep it off the forum please!

Laurensalive · 25 August 2015 at 11:08PM

I would say pay your way.But make sure this kind act of a bed is not being taken for granted. Basic things like buying the toilet paper both should buy this and there own usual items. I would myself help with the cleaning, rubbish. But do my own shopping. I would ask, how much do I owe as my contribution to the power bills etc. After moving out send an email and basically say thank you. I would keep on good terms with this person. As you never know if you need a good turn again.

kinger101 · 25 August 2015 at 11:15PM

This is like one of the Pamela Stephenson agony aunt things. If it revitalizes their sex life, I don't think there's any problem with the goldfish watching.

VT82 · 25 August 2015 at 11:17PM

What you are doing is 'cheaper than renting', yet you still can't afford it? So your options seem to be pay even less than you are already doing to a friend helping you out, try to find another friend you can take even more advantage of, or give up on job-hunting in London and return, presumably, to your parents' house?

Maybe I've had it too easy being in the same job for ten years, but is job-hunting in London really such a slow and long-winded process that this could even become the long-term problem the dilemma makes it out to be?

Maybe you're just not good enough to get a job in London. Try in Hull, it's much cheaper :rotfl:

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Money Moral Dilemma: Should I stop paying for my host?

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