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Smiales Diary
smiales
Posts: 212 Forumite
Hi, here's my diary of what has happened so far.
JULY 05
OH and I purchased first property needing full refurbishment. I t had always been my dream to do this. We both worked full time so spent evenings and weekends working on the house and imaging what it would be like when we eventually moved in. Borrowed £40k extra to fund renovation. To excited to see warning bells.
DEC 05
Moved into house just before Christmas as became impatient and also were paying rent on old flat whilst renovating which was a struggle. Can remember the strain starting to show on the finances, kept hoping that once the house was finished we would be able to get a new mortgage to cover the old loan and although we would pay back more overall it would be the 'mortgage' and spread over 25 years wouldn't be so bad.
APRIL 06
House still not finished, strain was even more evident, had affected our relationship and the stress was really kicking in. Then a real shock came, OH's Mum passed away suddenly abroad. We managed to get over and see her before it happened but it obviously knocked us about big time. We used money as a way of coping, we put everything into the house and decided that we wanted to eventually sell up and reduce the debt. To do this we needed more cash to finish it so we would get the best price. This is when we ended up with Firstplus who consolidated the old loan and gave us more on top. We hoped enough to get the house finished. At the time I was very wary about this loan as it seemed to be a huge amount but I couldn't see another option at the time. In hindsight I wish we had walked away at this point but I thought we would come out the other side still so persevered. Plus the house was an obsession for me, we worked so hard on it and the thought of walking away while it was unfinished just seemed like failure to me.
AUGUST 06
House still not finished, parents stepped in with final cash to get it finished.
OCTOBER 06
Massive stress, tradesmen took us to court, had spent months preparing our case, he was trying to fiddle us but fortunately we took on a great solicitor who showed the idiot up for the fraudster that he is and we absolutely massacred him in small claims court! So happy it was over, unfortunately the solicitors fee's were huge but if we had paid the trademen it would have been more. No win situation financially, morally it was a victory though. Couldn't even claim back out costs as this doesn't happen in small claims. So although we never asked to be taken to court and we won we were still out of pocket.
NOVEMBER 06
House finished and put on the market! We had two viewings and were offered the full asking within a few days, remember thinking "at last, we're getting out". But in the same week we were told that my Mum had a tumour in her spine. I felt like that was it, we both hated the house, it had started to seem like it was bad luck. We couldn't wait to get out. We were both struggling massively by this point, depression had set in and we needed to escape from the situation but unfortunately know one has that choice do they. All I cared about was my Mum, I didn't give a s**t about the house anymore, just wanted t osee the back of it.
DECEMBER 06
Sale of house due to go through and we decided that under the circumstances, financial and personal that we would move in with my parents for a while. Mum had a neurosurgery booked for beginning of January and they would need our help after as her mobility would be bad.
On the date of completion FirstPlus decided that they would not release the charge on the property and the whole sale looked as though it would fall through. OH totally lost the plot at this point, looking back I think he had a nervous breakdown. Such a horrendous memory, both of us lay on the bedroom floor crying our eyes out. Seeing him like that broke my heart, with everything else that had happened during the year this had pushed him over the edge. I tried to get myself together and rang FirstPlus, anyone who has dealt with them needs no explanation as to how terrible they are. I remember screaming down the phone hysterically and threatening them that if they put me on hold I would get in the car and go to their office! Its very unlike me, I managed to speak to a lovely girl, the only one in the entire company, and she swore that she would help us. I told her that they had been aware of the sale for 2 months and now, with the new buyers waiting for the money to transfer they had stopped the sale, I had already agreed 2 months earlier that 'profit' from the sale would not come to us - it would all go straight to them and the deficit left would be repaid as an unsecured loan. If they stopped the sale the house would be repossessed and they wouldn't get fraction of what we could offer if the sale went through on this day.
10 minutes later our solicitor rang and told us to get packing as the sale had completed. There was no excitement or happiness about the call for us. We were both in a bad way, I don't know how we finished packing. But we did.
JANUARY 07
Well we were back in my old room at home but although we were so relieved about the house being out of the picture we couldn't be happy as Mum was due in for her op, the stress in the house was indescribable. The op had to be done as the tumor would eventually paralyze Mum as it was pushing on her nerves, problem was that the op also carried risk of total paralysis. What a choice hey.
Late Jan Mum came out of hospital and the op was pretty successful, the whole tumor couldn't be removed as it was in such an awkward place. We had good news though, the results were back and it wasn't malignant. At last something positive had happened for all of us.
MAY 07
We decided now was the time to make fresh start, we wanted to move town and decided that we should go for it. We both moved jobs and bought a small house and started settling into our new town, we thought that we were starting to get our finances under control. Well on the surface I think we both desperately wanted to believe it and basically didn't want to face up to the fact that we were still in a mess.
JUNE 07
Reality started to hit, we looked into IVA's but because we were unmarried it was totally out of the question, we saw a private insolvency practitioner who was the first to suggest Bankruptcy. I refused to accept that and carried on struggling and getting back into a very bad situation that we could not sustain. We both tried to figure out a way of sorting the debt out without going BR but everyone we spoke to said we should, CCCS, CAB, Solicitor. I felt like a total idiot, I had pushed for us to buy this house a I still couldn't give up on the thought of being homeowners. I think 'head in sand' is appropriate. I felt like we deserved to be able to own a tiny place, we both worked, we both had gone through c**p and I wanted a home.
AUGUST 07
Bit of a jump as those months were a bit of a blur if I'm honest. We had come round to the fact that BR really was our only option. If we are honest it had been our only option for over a year but it had taken until now to accept it. So started the long process of filling in the forms and gathering all the documents from creditors.
28th AUGUST 07
I was declared BR. I was an absolute wreck on the lead up and in the court. The Judge was fantastic with me. I will always remember him saying to me "just remember that when you walk home you will pass several others on their way to see me, its too easy for people to get into this situation and see this as a fresh start with your life ahead of you" It made me feel so much better.
31st AUGUST 07
OH declared BR. His judge was horrible, felt awful as mine was so nice and I had told OH to relax. He was treated rather differently, was asked if he had been married, did he have children, basically tried to make the point that he had not had any responsibility so shouldn't be in debt. Slightly unfair seeing as our debts and situation were pretty much identical. Unfortunately there must still be sexism in the judiciary system. Young girl = poor defenseless thing, older man = should know better. Oh well at least it was done.
13th SEPTEMBER 07
Telephone interview with OR. Another sleepless night before hand. The interview lasted 3 and a half hours! I was totally drained. Was advised that we would have NT codes applied. Asked for some bank statements, evidence of sale of old house.
OCTOBER 07
Call from OR after hearing nothing, they wanted us to agree to an IPA of £110pm. OH had taken the call and said that we didn't understand that as we had gone through all our SOA figures in September and there wasn't any disposable income. OR said that there was now and that if we did not agree he would not exempt my car which would mean he would want a bigger IPA. His attitude was very blackmailing and we requested his amendments of our SOA in writing as we would not agree to anything without seeing it in writing. He told us it was NEVER put in writing and said "so you agree the IPA?" errr NO! Call ended.
I emailed OR office and said I wanted a new case officer as his attitude was threatening. (its so long ago its hard to remember all of the conversation now but he was a total sod)
Then the fun started........
NOVEMBER 07
Received letter from a different officer, no explanation of figures but IPA put in writing. We wrote back refusing as the figures agreed did not allow IPA and they had not provided anything to say different.
DECEMBER 07 (christmas eve to be precise)
Letter from OR, well I say letter, one sentance requesting payslips.
JANUARY 08
Sent payslips along with letter requesting figures.
We received a letter back stating that one car could not be exempted as both were registered to OH. We had explained that OH collected both cars but one was mine and that they were both of very low value (under £1000 for the two)
APRIL 08
Letter from OR stating that an 'agent' was coming to collect one vehicle as third party offer had not been made. Ok so we were naive, we didn't know how to make a third party offer! So wrote back and offered £100. Response from OR, agreed offer. Sent payment, jobs a good 'un. Still not agreed to IPA.
MAY 08
BIG letter from OR, taking us to court in June for IPO to be imposed. At last the figures from the OR had been included. Most matched and were fair but they had disallowed the one vehicle - the one that we have just purchased off them! Also mentioned that OH has been earning overtime and that no tax has been paid by him since NT code applied. Oh dear.
Depression has kicked in big time, I've been struggling for a long time but I've been ground well and truly down now. I've missed loads of work on sick, my job stresses the hell out of me and with everything else going on I can't cope with it any longer. I spoke to my boss and it was agreed that I would be better off sorting myself out and cutting my hours. Fortunately work has been good and have been aware of the fact that I've been on antidepressants since Oct 07 and seeing Clinical Psychologist since January to try and get myself better. There comes a point where you realise its not acceptable to be 27 and locking yourself in the house for a week at a time in pj's and too anxious to even speak to your own family. Its not good.
So we have written to OR and explained the drop in my salary and also the drop in OH's as he was temporarily earning in a higher post. Was alway temporary. OR wrote back yesterday and just said that comments have been noted but she still wants us to go to hearing. Haven't got dressed since letter came. Poor OH can't cope with me like this for much longer I don't think.
Main concern now is the tax not being paid. We know that we should have held onto it but no one told us what to do with it and with me in a mess we used the money for me to see the Psychologist. I've been on NHS waiting list for about a year and I couldn't wait any longer. It was wrong to spend the money but it was there and I was in a mess, we decided my health took priority. Looks like we will pay for it now. I know we ar ein the wrong but I am angry that we have been in contact with the OR for months and they have had payslips yet they have never told us what to do with this cash but have jumped straight on it with the court documents. Why didn't they tell us back in Jan? Anyway, very very worried about that now, we will pay it back, have no problem with that, don't know how we will afford it but it has to be done so.....
So thats the long and long of it. I'm sure I've missed loads and confused all of you loads but its a run down of what has been happening to us.
Regards,
Smiales
JULY 05
OH and I purchased first property needing full refurbishment. I t had always been my dream to do this. We both worked full time so spent evenings and weekends working on the house and imaging what it would be like when we eventually moved in. Borrowed £40k extra to fund renovation. To excited to see warning bells.
DEC 05
Moved into house just before Christmas as became impatient and also were paying rent on old flat whilst renovating which was a struggle. Can remember the strain starting to show on the finances, kept hoping that once the house was finished we would be able to get a new mortgage to cover the old loan and although we would pay back more overall it would be the 'mortgage' and spread over 25 years wouldn't be so bad.
APRIL 06
House still not finished, strain was even more evident, had affected our relationship and the stress was really kicking in. Then a real shock came, OH's Mum passed away suddenly abroad. We managed to get over and see her before it happened but it obviously knocked us about big time. We used money as a way of coping, we put everything into the house and decided that we wanted to eventually sell up and reduce the debt. To do this we needed more cash to finish it so we would get the best price. This is when we ended up with Firstplus who consolidated the old loan and gave us more on top. We hoped enough to get the house finished. At the time I was very wary about this loan as it seemed to be a huge amount but I couldn't see another option at the time. In hindsight I wish we had walked away at this point but I thought we would come out the other side still so persevered. Plus the house was an obsession for me, we worked so hard on it and the thought of walking away while it was unfinished just seemed like failure to me.
AUGUST 06
House still not finished, parents stepped in with final cash to get it finished.
OCTOBER 06
Massive stress, tradesmen took us to court, had spent months preparing our case, he was trying to fiddle us but fortunately we took on a great solicitor who showed the idiot up for the fraudster that he is and we absolutely massacred him in small claims court! So happy it was over, unfortunately the solicitors fee's were huge but if we had paid the trademen it would have been more. No win situation financially, morally it was a victory though. Couldn't even claim back out costs as this doesn't happen in small claims. So although we never asked to be taken to court and we won we were still out of pocket.
NOVEMBER 06
House finished and put on the market! We had two viewings and were offered the full asking within a few days, remember thinking "at last, we're getting out". But in the same week we were told that my Mum had a tumour in her spine. I felt like that was it, we both hated the house, it had started to seem like it was bad luck. We couldn't wait to get out. We were both struggling massively by this point, depression had set in and we needed to escape from the situation but unfortunately know one has that choice do they. All I cared about was my Mum, I didn't give a s**t about the house anymore, just wanted t osee the back of it.
DECEMBER 06
Sale of house due to go through and we decided that under the circumstances, financial and personal that we would move in with my parents for a while. Mum had a neurosurgery booked for beginning of January and they would need our help after as her mobility would be bad.
On the date of completion FirstPlus decided that they would not release the charge on the property and the whole sale looked as though it would fall through. OH totally lost the plot at this point, looking back I think he had a nervous breakdown. Such a horrendous memory, both of us lay on the bedroom floor crying our eyes out. Seeing him like that broke my heart, with everything else that had happened during the year this had pushed him over the edge. I tried to get myself together and rang FirstPlus, anyone who has dealt with them needs no explanation as to how terrible they are. I remember screaming down the phone hysterically and threatening them that if they put me on hold I would get in the car and go to their office! Its very unlike me, I managed to speak to a lovely girl, the only one in the entire company, and she swore that she would help us. I told her that they had been aware of the sale for 2 months and now, with the new buyers waiting for the money to transfer they had stopped the sale, I had already agreed 2 months earlier that 'profit' from the sale would not come to us - it would all go straight to them and the deficit left would be repaid as an unsecured loan. If they stopped the sale the house would be repossessed and they wouldn't get fraction of what we could offer if the sale went through on this day.
10 minutes later our solicitor rang and told us to get packing as the sale had completed. There was no excitement or happiness about the call for us. We were both in a bad way, I don't know how we finished packing. But we did.
JANUARY 07
Well we were back in my old room at home but although we were so relieved about the house being out of the picture we couldn't be happy as Mum was due in for her op, the stress in the house was indescribable. The op had to be done as the tumor would eventually paralyze Mum as it was pushing on her nerves, problem was that the op also carried risk of total paralysis. What a choice hey.
Late Jan Mum came out of hospital and the op was pretty successful, the whole tumor couldn't be removed as it was in such an awkward place. We had good news though, the results were back and it wasn't malignant. At last something positive had happened for all of us.
MAY 07
We decided now was the time to make fresh start, we wanted to move town and decided that we should go for it. We both moved jobs and bought a small house and started settling into our new town, we thought that we were starting to get our finances under control. Well on the surface I think we both desperately wanted to believe it and basically didn't want to face up to the fact that we were still in a mess.
JUNE 07
Reality started to hit, we looked into IVA's but because we were unmarried it was totally out of the question, we saw a private insolvency practitioner who was the first to suggest Bankruptcy. I refused to accept that and carried on struggling and getting back into a very bad situation that we could not sustain. We both tried to figure out a way of sorting the debt out without going BR but everyone we spoke to said we should, CCCS, CAB, Solicitor. I felt like a total idiot, I had pushed for us to buy this house a I still couldn't give up on the thought of being homeowners. I think 'head in sand' is appropriate. I felt like we deserved to be able to own a tiny place, we both worked, we both had gone through c**p and I wanted a home.
AUGUST 07
Bit of a jump as those months were a bit of a blur if I'm honest. We had come round to the fact that BR really was our only option. If we are honest it had been our only option for over a year but it had taken until now to accept it. So started the long process of filling in the forms and gathering all the documents from creditors.
28th AUGUST 07
I was declared BR. I was an absolute wreck on the lead up and in the court. The Judge was fantastic with me. I will always remember him saying to me "just remember that when you walk home you will pass several others on their way to see me, its too easy for people to get into this situation and see this as a fresh start with your life ahead of you" It made me feel so much better.
31st AUGUST 07
OH declared BR. His judge was horrible, felt awful as mine was so nice and I had told OH to relax. He was treated rather differently, was asked if he had been married, did he have children, basically tried to make the point that he had not had any responsibility so shouldn't be in debt. Slightly unfair seeing as our debts and situation were pretty much identical. Unfortunately there must still be sexism in the judiciary system. Young girl = poor defenseless thing, older man = should know better. Oh well at least it was done.
13th SEPTEMBER 07
Telephone interview with OR. Another sleepless night before hand. The interview lasted 3 and a half hours! I was totally drained. Was advised that we would have NT codes applied. Asked for some bank statements, evidence of sale of old house.
OCTOBER 07
Call from OR after hearing nothing, they wanted us to agree to an IPA of £110pm. OH had taken the call and said that we didn't understand that as we had gone through all our SOA figures in September and there wasn't any disposable income. OR said that there was now and that if we did not agree he would not exempt my car which would mean he would want a bigger IPA. His attitude was very blackmailing and we requested his amendments of our SOA in writing as we would not agree to anything without seeing it in writing. He told us it was NEVER put in writing and said "so you agree the IPA?" errr NO! Call ended.
I emailed OR office and said I wanted a new case officer as his attitude was threatening. (its so long ago its hard to remember all of the conversation now but he was a total sod)
Then the fun started........
NOVEMBER 07
Received letter from a different officer, no explanation of figures but IPA put in writing. We wrote back refusing as the figures agreed did not allow IPA and they had not provided anything to say different.
DECEMBER 07 (christmas eve to be precise)
Letter from OR, well I say letter, one sentance requesting payslips.
JANUARY 08
Sent payslips along with letter requesting figures.
We received a letter back stating that one car could not be exempted as both were registered to OH. We had explained that OH collected both cars but one was mine and that they were both of very low value (under £1000 for the two)
APRIL 08
Letter from OR stating that an 'agent' was coming to collect one vehicle as third party offer had not been made. Ok so we were naive, we didn't know how to make a third party offer! So wrote back and offered £100. Response from OR, agreed offer. Sent payment, jobs a good 'un. Still not agreed to IPA.
MAY 08
BIG letter from OR, taking us to court in June for IPO to be imposed. At last the figures from the OR had been included. Most matched and were fair but they had disallowed the one vehicle - the one that we have just purchased off them! Also mentioned that OH has been earning overtime and that no tax has been paid by him since NT code applied. Oh dear.
Depression has kicked in big time, I've been struggling for a long time but I've been ground well and truly down now. I've missed loads of work on sick, my job stresses the hell out of me and with everything else going on I can't cope with it any longer. I spoke to my boss and it was agreed that I would be better off sorting myself out and cutting my hours. Fortunately work has been good and have been aware of the fact that I've been on antidepressants since Oct 07 and seeing Clinical Psychologist since January to try and get myself better. There comes a point where you realise its not acceptable to be 27 and locking yourself in the house for a week at a time in pj's and too anxious to even speak to your own family. Its not good.
So we have written to OR and explained the drop in my salary and also the drop in OH's as he was temporarily earning in a higher post. Was alway temporary. OR wrote back yesterday and just said that comments have been noted but she still wants us to go to hearing. Haven't got dressed since letter came. Poor OH can't cope with me like this for much longer I don't think.
Main concern now is the tax not being paid. We know that we should have held onto it but no one told us what to do with it and with me in a mess we used the money for me to see the Psychologist. I've been on NHS waiting list for about a year and I couldn't wait any longer. It was wrong to spend the money but it was there and I was in a mess, we decided my health took priority. Looks like we will pay for it now. I know we ar ein the wrong but I am angry that we have been in contact with the OR for months and they have had payslips yet they have never told us what to do with this cash but have jumped straight on it with the court documents. Why didn't they tell us back in Jan? Anyway, very very worried about that now, we will pay it back, have no problem with that, don't know how we will afford it but it has to be done so.....
So thats the long and long of it. I'm sure I've missed loads and confused all of you loads but its a run down of what has been happening to us.
Regards,
Smiales
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Comments
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Wow, I just want to say that I really hope things get sorted out for you properly. Seems like you have really been through the mill, and it's about time you got a break ((HUGS))Get free advice before embarking on bankruptcy: CCCS 0800 138 1111 National Debtline 0808 808 4000
Business Debt Line 0800 197 6026 CAB Insolvency Service- 0845 602 9848"He who laughs last didn't get it!" :rotfl:BSC 134
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I just want to say that it sounds as if you have been truly put through the mill in the last year or so and your experiences prove that, despite what some people think, that bankruptcy is never an easy option and can have repercussions beyond the financial i.e. on health, physical & mental, and on relationships too. I don't have any experience of what you can expect in court but I'm sure people who have will be along shortly with advice & support:T I hope everything gets better day by day for u and the future is full of good things for you both:T:hello: :jEternal Optimist:j:hello:BR 22.09.08:staradmin BSC Member 201:staradmin0
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Interesting read.:T Echo what merry says,you cannot continue with this run of bad luck. Something has got to change for the better. Feel for you both. Good luck with the hearing.DFree impartial debt advice available from: National Debtline - Tel: 0808 808 4000 | The Consumer Credit Counselling Service (CCCS) - Tel: 0800 138 1111 | Find your local Citizens Advice Bureau
Laugh at yourself and others laugh with you.Laugh at others and you laugh alone. BSC No 107:D0 -
Hi Smiales.
Impressive how you've managed to remember all that including dates:T
You asked previously if anyone else had been to court, well there was a user called Dingdangdo who did a thread that they were being taken to court for the same thing, but, unfortunately they never up-dated us on what happened..i hope you do.
Truly wish you all the best for the court and hope you have a judge with some common sense.
Edit: link to post HERE
Double Edit: sorry, it seem that your also Dingdangdo. So thats not really any help to you.The first time we said hello, was the first time we said goodbye. As the angels took your tiny hand and flew you to the sky-you forever left us breathless. RIP my beautiful granddaughter
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Sorry to hear your story. I am not surprized the way you are feeling, you have been through so much! Sorry I cannot offer you any advice yet.
Just take care and I am sure things will improve soon, you must have had all your bad time now, I am sure a change is just round the corner.
(hug)0 -
Just to echo whats already been said.. really looks like you've been put through a seriously rough time of it
Can't really offer advice but wish you all the best!:hello:Save a little money each month and at the end of the year you’ll be surprised at how little you have.An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind0 -
betterlatethannever wrote: »Hi Smiales.
Impressive how you've managed to remember all that including dates:T
You asked previously if anyone else had been to court, well there was a user called Dingdangdo who did a thread that they were being taken to court for the same thing, but, unfortunately they never up-dated us on what happened..i hope you do.
Truly wish you all the best for the court and hope you have a judge with some common sense.
Edit: link to post HERE
Double Edit: sorry, it seem that your also Dingdangdo. So thats not really any help to you.
Oh BLTN you really cheered my up with that post after what can only be described as a crap day thanks my dear:T
Ps im still gigleingThats it, i am done, Blind-as-a-Bat has left the forum, for good this time, there is no way I can recover this account, as the password was random, and not recorded, and the email used no longer exits, nor can be recovered to recover the account, goodbye all ………….
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Smiales I havnt read your full post yet but i have a feeling i already know most of it so all i will say for now is good luck and if my will for you to win is any good you have got it girl;)Thats it, i am done, Blind-as-a-Bat has left the forum, for good this time, there is no way I can recover this account, as the password was random, and not recorded, and the email used no longer exits, nor can be recovered to recover the account, goodbye all ………….
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Thanks everyone, i thought I had subscribed to my thread but hadn't so when I checked in and saw all these replies I was a bit overwhelmed.
I have been on these sites on and off for about a year under a couple of names but smiales is my permanent!
I think that I feel surprised by the responses because OH and I have been so low for such a long time that we have almost forgotten what its like to be happy. God that sounds depressing, everyday isn't bad, we do have fun occasionally and we have stuck together through it all which is a great thing, so many couples don't make it through debt. I'm proud of that. But yes its fair to say that the overall view of our lives is not so great. It seems that we have have a ridiculous spate of bad luck, if that is even the right wording.
The debt is our fault, it didn't 'happen' to us, we should have known better than to think we could cope with what we took on financially. But that is hindsight and it can't be changed, it took this to make us learn. Its a pretty hard way to learn. With regard to the other things that have happened is beyond bad luck, its life and its s**t. Anyone that has lost someone they love or seen someone they love ill will understand the way it affects your life.
Going bankrupt has been the best thing we have done, despite all of what is still going on, its hard to think that at times but it is true. I am absolutely dreading court next week, I'm petrified that the Judge will come down on us like a ton of bricks because of the tax issue, if we hadn't messed that up I would be more confident but I think it will just make us look really bad and then the judge will go against us however he/she can. There is nothing we can do about stopping it happening so we have to ride it out. I will keep you all informed, court is on thursday so i have a few days to get prepared. Like OH says, at least this time next week we will know whats happening once and for all......0 -
Arhh that explains it.:D
You have done well to pull together at such a hard time.
Sometimes it seems that bad luck comes in mega doses..yet good luck only comes in dribs and drabs:rolleyes:
Any judge worth his salt, will do just that and judge you on the fact that you've tried..really tried, yet circumstances have taken over.
I can only imagine your fear. I would feel the same.
Please come back and let us know how it all goes.
Wishing you the very best of luck:jThe first time we said hello, was the first time we said goodbye. As the angels took your tiny hand and flew you to the sky-you forever left us breathless. RIP my beautiful granddaughter0
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