No presents - is that really tight?

shopaholictiedtheknot · 9 October 2007 at 11:26AM

I really do not want to go to the hassle and expense of buying gifts for everyone this year, I do not see the point as everyone I buy for asks me what I want instead of just buying a surprise and I end up trying to rack my brains for novel ideas for them as they will never say what they want! My other reason is I am trying for a baby and want to save every penny I have so I can take as much maternity leave as possible (no-one knows about this and I want to keep it secret!)
I want to suggest to everyone that we don't buy gifts this year just nice cards but will everyone think I am scrooge re-incarnated?

:rolleyes:

themmackas · 9 October 2007 at 11:35AM

Why dont you mention to people that because you have just bought a new house and are trying to decorate it that would it be ok if we didnt exchange pressies this year, or ask if you can just stick to maybe £5 or even do a secret santa kind of thing where you just buy for one person but maybe spend £10-£20 that way you all will have at least 1 thing to open on christmas morning.

Pollycat · 9 October 2007 at 11:44AM

Hi
I think only you can know what the likely response your family & friends are likely to have to this suggestion.

I know that some families spend an awful lot of money on presents.
My family aren't like that, we tend to buy little things that have taken a lot of thought.
Also, my sister and I start buying Christmas presents before the end of the previous year, so for your suggestion to work for us, you'd have to catch us middle of December 207 for it to come into effect for Christmas 2008. :rolleyes2

On my rounds of the various charity shops in our town, I see lots of 'unwanted gifts' still in their packaging, quite often Next/M&S/Body Shop toiletries and I think it's so sad that someone's wasted their (probably) hard-earned money on something that wasn't wanted.
I'm lucky in that I only buy for people that I know really well.
I personally don't like the idea of someone asking what you want & then buying it for you - you might as well just cut out the middleman and buy it yourself.

Good luck with this (and the potential baby too).

Polly

before_hollywood · 9 October 2007 at 11:53AM

i think the thought is more important than the expense to be honest

meerustar · 9 October 2007 at 11:59AM

Do you buy for everyone?

I used to do this but I really couldn't afford it after a while so HAD to say something. I now buy my 2 nephews, but not Sis and BIL, I buy my friends daughter, but not her and hubby anymore and even now, they are token gifts.

To cut back, just say you cannot afford it, but will get the children of the family a selection pack or something. You may find that others are stuggling as well and will be glad you brought it up.

There is a lot of pressure at xmas, and some could be avoided if only people spoke up.

Good Luck

Quackers · 9 October 2007 at 12:07PM

meerustar wrote: »

There is a lot of pressure at xmas, and some could be avoided if only people spoke up.

Good Luck

Me & my sis spoke up just over a month ago and our mum is still in a strop :rotfl:

All 3 of us are skint so me and my sis sat my mum and dad down and told them they had to set a maximum of £20 per grandchild and not buy for us. Our mum threw a hissy fit :rotfl:

She finally agreed to £50 per grandchild and £20 for children & in laws but we know she may not stick to it.

Me & my sis have set limits on each others children and have agreed not to buy each other pressies.

We also said we'd do a secret santa for £10 between us all.

My mum and dad spend an absolute fortune on xmas and really dont have any money ever. We dont know how they do it and wanted them to see that we could still have a fantastic time and the huge amounts of gifts that they give really isn't necessary.

It didn't wash.

I think it really depends on the family and only you will know how they react.

Regardless of this, you still need to do whats right for you - people will eventually understand.

justontime · 9 October 2007 at 12:07PM

I think lots of people would like to do this if they dared. I have certainly thought about making a similar suggestion re the adults in our family, but I don't have the confidence. I thought of suggesting a very low price limit or just a home made present, because it really does get silly. I am making a number of my presents this year, they will be more personal and the people that I care about will know that they are important to me because I have put though and effort into their gift. A friend of mine sends a card from a big charity to say that she has bought a goat (or whatever) to be sent to a needy family. This makes me much happier than a present I didn't want, but I think you have to have a certain confidence in each other to be able to do that. Good luck.

shopaholictiedtheknot · 9 October 2007 at 12:31PM

Thanks all so far for your great replies, I think I am going to pluck up the courage to suggest we just stick to gifts for the kids, I think my family will be ok just worried what OH side will think as they are all loaded!

snowmaid · 9 October 2007 at 12:35PM

I personally think that it is not the cost of the pressie, but the warmth and love from the person giving it. Sounds tacky, but true.

Why don't you get some lovely biscuit recipes, really go out of your way to make some gorgeous biscuits, sweets etc, get a special little presentation box, fill with your treats, wrap with celephane and ribbon. While they will save you money, you are also giving a treat of home made goodies!

I think gifts like this are wonderful as noone actually takes time with gifts anymore, but rather orders in bulk over the net.

Stompa · 9 October 2007 at 12:41PM

shopaholictiedtheknot wrote: »

I want to suggest to everyone that we don't buy gifts this year just nice cards but will everyone think I am scrooge re-incarnated?

Not at all. I recall having a conversation with my brother some 30 odd years ago where we concluded that Christmas/Birthday presents/cards were a daft idea - and that we wouldn't bother with them any more. And that's precisely what we did - makes life a lot simpler!

justontime · 9 October 2007 at 2:33PM

shopaholictiedtheknot wrote: »

Thanks all so far for your great replies, I think I am going to pluck up the courage to suggest we just stick to gifts for the kids, I think my family will be ok just worried what OH side will think as they are all loaded!

It took me many years to truly understand that you can't please all the people all the time. I honestly think that my mother in law gets more pleasure out of being dissatisfied and critical, so it is unlikely that I will ever find anything to please her. At one time I used to beat myself up about it, but now I don't let it worry me. As long as I know that I have done my best and behaved in a friendly manner, I don't let critical comments get to me. Sorry if it sounds harsh, but some relatives really do turn being 'challenging' into an art form!

No presents - is that really tight?

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