No presents - is that really tight?

jazzyjustlaw

I have really cut down but most of those I buy for are poor and I like buying them something but they feel obliged to buy me something so it has not effect really. Any suggestions?

lil_me

Me and my sister have had a deal for 4 years now that we just buy for the kids, takes the pressure off both of us. I mentioned it to a friend who we've always bought for and we're doing the same this year, just dropped it into conversation what me and my sister do and she said 'we could do that, would save a lot of time and money' subtle but worked. Saying that I spend more on the kids now with not having the adults to buy for. I will be buying for my children, parents, Nana (I give something to Mam to put towards a bigger gift from all of us) neice, nephew and best friend's son.

DPs family are the nightmare and older relatives inc much extended family like great aunty and uncle, step grandparents, step auntys grandchild (think that is right), who if we didn't buy for them something which was expensive (or they think is) you're treated like scrooge. One year I didn't buy for them as me and DP were living apart, he didn't buy for them either (because he pressumed I would) but because they'd bought for the boys (usually junk) I was the one who got the nasty looks/comments. On his side with the two seperate families and the extended bits there are over 20 to buy for. Hence I end up spending over £500 at least on 'other people'. Drives me mad!

shopaholictiedtheknot

I have cut down slightly - only buying for 2 of my friends kids and not for them, they are doing the same with me, the rest I have decided to do hampers for (couldnt be the scrooge I planned!!) , I am doing really well after reading all the hamper threads and my baskets are so far coming in at around the £10 mark - much better than the £20 or so I usually spend, and they look great! I will post pics on the hamper thread once they are all ready

Steve-o

skips_mum wrote: »

Last year we told everyone we weren't buying things from their "lists" and made everyone a pressie instead.

Oh how I hate Christmas 'lists'. For me they seem to defeat the object of Christmas giving, and turn it into just another consumer day (Christmas has lost all of its magic for me, if you hadn't guessed :rotfl:). My family do the list thing, and I refuse to take part. When they ask what I want for Christmas I reply (honestly) "there's nothing I want", which then gets me into no end of trouble! I remember one year rising to the challenge, and saying to my mother that a donation to a charity in my name is what I wanted. She reacted as though she'd been slapped around the face by me, because it "wasn't a present"! Now I just refuse to answer the question when she asks me, and remind her that the one year I told her what I wanted she refused to do it. :rotfl:

I would seriously love to receive something like a notebook that has been personalised with my name, rather than have lots of money spent on me. Unfortunately my family don't see it the same way, and I end up in the position of knowing that they have spent money they could ill afford, no matter what I try to say to them.

[Deleted User]

when we were young and with a young family we were in the silly situation of buying 42 presents for people outside our immediate family. It was such a struggle. I told them one year that we should buy only for the children and everyone breathed a sigh of relief.

We stopped altogether when the children became adults

Our immediate family has grown now and last year for the first time I suggested a max of £10 to be spent on each person. Our grown up children were spending far too much on us and we have no need for anything. That £10 christmas was the BEST ever. Our son made everyone chilli jam and added other small items. We all thoroughly enjoyed hunting for presents and everyone was SO pleased with the thought that had gone into it

This year we are doing the same. I have made the girls warm wooly socks at £4.50 a pair and the men wrist warmers in merino wool at £4 a pair. I still have plenty of scope for adding a few chocs and a fun present like a rubics cube (£2.80 from the US)

I have bought myself a game called carcassonne and christmas will again be a lovely old fashioned non-commercial time

OP what you are doing is good and re lists: they are the pits and are for lazy buyers

mirandamayhem

I'm probably materialistic but i love getting presents!
I think it's sad that alot of people i speak to say "Christmas is for the kids really"
Sod that! I want something to open! A snot rag would be great, I'm not choosey, just the whole giving and receiving i absolutely love, i love thinking up quirky gifts.
But we have gotten stricter with budgets as tiome has gone on.

LouBlue

mirandamayhem wrote: »

I'm probably materialistic but i love getting presents!
I think it's sad that alot of people i speak to say "Christmas is for the kids really"
Sod that! I want something to open! A snot rag would be great, I'm not choosey, just the whole giving and receiving i absolutely love, i love thinking up quirky gifts.
But we have gotten stricter with budgets as tiome has gone on.

Its not materialistic saying you love pressies, everyone does. But I think we all have to look at the financial situation of ourselves and our loved ones. Then you can all have a great time, have something to open and not bankrupt yourself in the process.

hopeless_case_2

if your buying for adults M&S chocs are on for £2.99 and a bottle of wine is a good non wasteful pressie and cheap.

buxtonrabbitgreen

One of my sisters is on benefits and was going on the other day aobut how she was going to be able to buy presents. I said that I really don't mind if she doesn't buy us one. I am quite hard up, but not as hard up as her, so I have bought them all a present. Nothing expensive though. 2 years ago she made me a patchwork cushion cover, part of her college course and I was really really pleased with it. So I have said I would love another if she has any material left. She seemed very relieved and most suprised.
I agree with anyone who has said some thought and work makes a much appreciated present.
I am buying my youngest 2 kids a present that they want that is costing £100 each and the only way I could afford this was to make or buy in sales for the rest of the family.
I have a good stash including 6 jumpers I have knitted on my machine.
I also have my eldest DS and his wife to get birthday presents for in 2 weeks. I have ordered cinema tickets from my fact finders surveying and am going to get them a voucher for a meal and a promise to babysit when they want to go for a night out. Something like that doesn't cost too much, but does require a bit of thought.
On the not buying any presents, another sister decided a few years ago that we would only buy presents for the kids, however I think they all get far too much and would rather buy presents for the adults. So it was me that messed up that plan after a couple of years.
I like to get people presents but really don't care if they buy me one.
I really am one of those that prefer to give than receive.

LuciferTDark

This might sound obvious to everyone, but we pay for Christmas by buying Tesco saving stamps throughout the year.

What we do is save up pound coins & pop a few in the machine when we go shopping, by the end of November we normally have £100+ to spend on Christmas without breaking the bank & leaving ourselves short till January.

The first time we did it when I was working we had £300 just for Christmas & managed to get presents for everyone & still have loads left over for treating ourselves.