Splitting the bill...

gelato_cat · 12 November 2006 at 11:07PM

Just wanted to start a discussion really - not looking for advice...

How do others feel about splitting the bill when you go to restaurants with friends?

I remember the time I went to my friend's 40th birthday party with my ex-boyfriend. Me and the ex each had a chicken burger, chips and Coke. Others were having steaks, ribs etc and drinking alcohol. When the bill came, we split it and the birthday girl paid nothing and everyone had to pay £40 each :eek: I really did not feel like I could say anything, but I was galled. It's not like I can't afford it, but if I've chosen something cheap then I don't believe I should pay through the nose to subsidise everyone else's choices. Since then, I've learnt to try and choose something a bit more expensive just in case. It's not the best way but at least I won't feel bad if everyone else is insisting we split the bill equally.

Ever since then, I've been conscious about how the bill is split when I go out with friends. If I am having something of a much lower value than them, I will probably suggest that we each pay for what we had. I know some people think this is tight so I'd like to hear other people's points of view on this.

My bf makes a lot more than me and so do his friends. I've heard stories of them going to an ordinary Italian restaurant and then ending up splitting the bill and paying £60 each cos they've had so much wine. When I'm invited out with them, I always say no because despite my best efforts there is no way I can get through £60-worth of food and drink in a little Italian in Tooting but would have to pay anyway and I would just resent them for it. My bf thinks I'm being silly and would be embarrassed if I protested in front of his mates but as I point out, why should I subsidise them?? If they want to have all that stuff, they can pay for it - I don't see why I should have to. So I avoid the situation altogether.

On the other hand, I have another friend who makes ridiculous amounts of money and he is always conscious about how much we are each paying, so he makes sure we split it fairly :beer:

Of course, if everyone in the group is having approximately the same as me I won't get upset over a few pounds, but seeing as I rarely drink alcohol with my meals and can't finish my main if I order a starter, I don't see why I should pay the same as people who have had loads.

Thoughts?

Suze

Cruiksl · 12 November 2006 at 11:16PM

Suze,

I'm of the opinion that it depends on the company you're in. If it's with close friends then I'll say before I go out that I'm watching the pennies so will pay my own. If it's with a group of people that we're with for say a birthday or celebration and we don't know them that well then I'd expect for the bill to be split although if I was skint then I would make an excuse not to go for the meal to save embarrassment. As someone who goes between drinking and not drinking I've found that some of the non-alcoholic drinks can cost as much as an alcoholic one so don't think that makes a difference unless I was drinking tap water then I'd rethink !

Lynn

hardpressed · 12 November 2006 at 11:21PM

This is always a difficult one. Our firms Christmas meal is looming. It's a set price meal but it always costs a lot more as some people like lots of wine and there's always the tip. As I have to drive and therefore don't drink I do silently fume at paying for others to get merry on expensive wine and liquers. One year, when I was working part time, the cost of the evening was more than I earned in a week. At the time I really couldn't afford it but didn't want to rock the boat by making a fuss. I don't mind if everyone's just have one glass of wine sharing the cost, I'm not that mean.

Mark7799 · 12 November 2006 at 11:24PM

Cruiksl wrote:

Suze,

As someone who goes between drinking and not drinking I've found that some of the non-alcoholic drinks can cost as much as an alcoholic one so don't think that makes a difference unless I was drinking tap water then I'd rethink !

Lynn

At a colleague's retirement party earlier this year, I was charged £3.20 for a pint of soda water:eek:

gelato_cat · 12 November 2006 at 11:25PM

I think that's a good plan and it's sort of what I do. My close friends know me and so that's fine. I don't know my bf's friends that well but I think they assume that everyone is fine with splitting and probably can't imagine earning less than £60k a year :cool:

I was naive in the 40th birthday party example I gave above - still think about it to this day!!!

Suze

Cruiksl wrote:

Suze,

I'm of the opinion that it depends on the company you're in. If it's with close friends then I'll say before I go out that I'm watching the pennies so will pay my own. If it's with a group of people that we're with for say a birthday or celebration and we don't know them that well then I'd expect for the bill to be split although if I was skint then I would make an excuse not to go for the meal to save embarrassment. As someone who goes between drinking and not drinking I've found that some of the non-alcoholic drinks can cost as much as an alcoholic one so don't think that makes a difference unless I was drinking tap water then I'd rethink !

Lynn

gelato_cat · 12 November 2006 at 11:26PM

Ah yes. My Christmas do is approaching and to ensure I get best value for money I won't be ordering something cheap. I have no problem for paying for my own in that case, but I'll be damned if I have to pay half the cost of someone's steak and all their wine.

Suze

hardpressed wrote:

This is always a difficult one. Our firms Christmas meal is looming. It's a set price meal but it always costs a lot more as some people like lots of wine and there's always the tip. As I have to drive and therefore don't drink I do silently fume at paying for others to get merry on expensive wine and liquers. One year, when I was working part time, the cost of the evening was more than I earned in a week. At the time I really couldn't afford it but didn't want to rock the boat by making a fuss. I don't mind if everyone's just have one glass of wine sharing the cost, I'm not that mean.

gelato_cat · 12 November 2006 at 11:32PM

I missed this bit first time I replied - sorry!!!

My bf's mates like their wine and order loads. I don't think it would be possible for me to get through the same value in drinks for myself!!!

Suze

Cruiksl wrote:

As someone who goes between drinking and not drinking I've found that some of the non-alcoholic drinks can cost as much as an alcoholic one so don't think that makes a difference unless I was drinking tap water then I'd rethink !

hardpressed · 12 November 2006 at 11:35PM

Trouble is you've got to work with these people, if you make a fuss they have long memories. I now put a pound or so aside each week so I have the extra ready. Don't get me wrong I get on fine with my collegues just evenings out are a problem.

gelato_cat · 12 November 2006 at 11:38PM

True. I've been lucky in that my last couple of Christmas parties were paid for by the company (but then I was made redundant as they were trying to cut costs!). However, I'm now working in the public sector so we have to pay for our own. I think our bosses are trying to choose somewhere cheap, so hopefully it won't be a problem. It can be quite a source of stress though can't it?

Suze

hardpressed wrote:

Trouble is you've got to work with these people, if you make a fuss they have long memories. I now put a pound or so aside each week so I have the extra ready. Don't get me wrong I get on fine with my collegues just evenings out are a problem.

Tustastic · 12 November 2006 at 11:45PM

I used to work in a team which paid for the Xmas meal thus;
Head of Team - paid own meal full cost and TOTAL bill for drinks with meal
5 seniors - paid own meal plus £10 - £15 on top, dependent on cost of meal and mood of totter-upper
Rest of team - pretty much the exact price of the average main course at the venue.
We always ate at places with good food and reasonable prices. Believe it or not, there are many of these in central London.
Drinks consisted of wine or beer plus jugs of tap water.
Anyone who wanted anything stronger could pay for it themselves, there and then.
It was a popular arrangement - no-one ever made mysterious excuses to get out of it.
One of my friends is a teetotaller by choice, who likes eating out. When the bill comes, we always trim her bill so she isn't paying for our drinks.

If my bf wanted me to go on an expensive night out with his mates, who all earned much more than me, I would suggest he treated me for the evening if he wanted my company so much.:)

Mrs_pbradley936 · 13 November 2006 at 2:45PM

Well I spend a lot of time in the USA and there it is common practice to ask for “separate checks” that means one bill per couple. Nobody seems to mind or remark over it and that way everyone can order what they want without feeling that they are taking liberties and those that do not drink are not faced with contributing to a huge bar bill. It does not seem “the thing to do” here and if you suggest it it always gets put down.

Splitting the bill...

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