The Morals of my Friend. Am i being a prude?!

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alipops1986
alipops1986 Posts: 691 Forumite
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in Marriage, relationships & families
:confused: I am the youngest of my group of friends. We used to or still do work together in some cases.

Last night we were at a bit of a party/gathering during which one of my mates told me she'd slept with another of our mates boyfriend!! :eek:

The boyfriend is her housemate but happens to be dating our other friend. Apparently they were both drunk.

Now, i might be a bit old fashioned about it but i was so shocked and :mad: that someone could betray another friend. I'd NEVER dream of doing something like that ever, drunk or otherwise!

Our mate and said boyfriend aren't necessarily the best suited couple but that's not our judgement to make really. They are together, so be it!

Now, i can't help but think whether this mate would do it to me [if i wasnt single :rotfl:].

It's really made me think. Am i over-reacting?!
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  • taliwillow
    taliwillow Posts: 415 Forumite
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    My first question would be was she telling you in a 'Look at me, I slept with a friends boyfriend so I'm clearly more attractive' kind of way (I did come across people like that when I was a teenager) or in a 'Oh no, what have I done, I can't believe I have doen this to my friend' kind of way?
    Current Debt - [strike]£38000[/strike] [strike]£32000[/strike] [strike]£28500[/strike] [strike]£22000[/strike] [strike]£16000[/strike] [strike]£10000[/strike] [STRIKE]£1500[/STRIKE] £14000:eek:
  • alipops1986
    alipops1986 Posts: 691 Forumite
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    Pretty much for first way to be honest...or at least that's the impression i got!

    I'm 22. My friends are from 24-32. One in question is 24!

    However, i am known as the slightly angelic one so thought perhaps it's just me being a goody goody n thinking it's so awful!?
  • ameliarate
    ameliarate Posts: 7,389 Forumite
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    taliwillow wrote: »
    My first question would be was she telling you in a 'Look at me, I slept with a friends boyfriend so I'm clearly more attractive' kind of way (I did come across people like that when I was a teenager) or in a 'Oh no, what have I done, I can't believe I have doen this to my friend' kind of way?

    I agree, it depends entirely on how she felt it about it afterwards and whether it might happen again. It is not a nice situation for you but I think you have to use your judgement here about whether it was a drunken one off incident or whether this girl really is a bit of a b1tch.
    We don't stop playing because we grow old; We grow old because we stop playing.
  • McKneff
    McKneff Posts: 38,830 Forumite
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    Your not being a prude, it is awful.
    So she obviously doesnt care what her friends think about her.
    But there again, it takes two, what about the other girls bf. He is as much to blame, I wouldnt be introducing any of my boyfriends to her.
    make the most of it, we are only here for the weekend.
    and we will never, ever return.
  • peachyprice
    peachyprice Posts: 22,346 Forumite
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    You're no prude Ali, your 'friend' has the morals of an alley cat.

    If she want's to sleep around, fine, it's her life, but she can at least choose people who aren't supposed to be her friends, and don't get other friends, i.e. you, involved in her grubby goings on.

    Has she never heard the saying about not sh!tting on your own doorstep:rolleyes:
    Accept your past without regret, handle your present with confidence and face your future without fear
  • woody01
    woody01 Posts: 1,918 Forumite
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    However, i am known as the slightly angelic one so thought perhaps it's just me being a goody goody n thinking it's so awful!?

    It just sounds to me like you are a better behaved person and your other mate is a 'right ole go-oer' :D

    Just a blokes perspective on it :)
  • ICATQ
    ICATQ Posts: 664 Forumite
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    Probably says more about the state of the relationship than anything else.

    Shouldnt go behind a mates back, that isnt done really. Drunk or otherwise. The drunk bit is just an excuse??
  • Nikabella
    Nikabella Posts: 413 Forumite
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    If your friend was telling you in a bragging way rather than an eaten up by guilt way (not that that excuses the act!) then I think I would be reconsidering my friendship with them. They do not sound like a trustworthy person who has the friends interests at heart!

    A.x
    :DBeautiful DD born Jan 2007 :D
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    :D Beautiful DS born March 2010 :D
  • Mrs_P_Pincher
    Mrs_P_Pincher Posts: 538 Forumite
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    You know what you think is right (or wrong) and that's fine. Not everyone will come up to your standards. One of our social group juggles three (or four, I've lost count) married lovers and thinks that's fine. For variety she also picks up blokes in the pub when she's drunk and takes them home for one night stands. That's why she's not a friend.

    You are not being a goody goody - hang onto your values.

    Cheers

    Mrs P P
    "Keep your dreams as clean as silver..." John Stewart (1939-2008)
  • NAR
    NAR Posts: 4,863 Forumite
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    peachyprice wrote: »
    You're no prude Ali, your 'friend' has the morals of an alley cat.

    If she want's to sleep around, fine, it's her life, but she can at least choose people who aren't supposed to be her friends, and don't get other friends, i.e. you, involved in her grubby goings on.

    Has she never heard the saying about not sh!tting on your own doorstep:rolleyes:
    Couldn't have put it better myself! :naughty:
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