Frightened to take the step

hettiecarro · 27 July 2009 at 10:51AM

Hi all.

This is going to be some ramble. PLEASE BEAR WITH ME - THIS IS A DEBT PROBLEM.

In 2005 my mother died whilst I was on holiday alone with her in Italy. The shock and subsequent events in my personal circumstances totally unhinged me. I already suffer from depression and have been hospitalised on various occasions. I had to pay for my Mums body to be repatriated and also all of the funeral expenses as she had no insurances.

Despite all of this, I have always held down a very responsible job and earned good money - and there in lies the basis of my problem.

It was always easy to obtain credit from anywhere, and I spent like there was no tomorrow over the last 5 years of my Mum's life to give her EVERYTHING she wanted - Holidays, clothes, shows etc. We had had a difficult relationship in the past and I suppose if I'm honest I tried to buy her affection.

When she died my Mum left me her house, but had an equity release mortgage outstanding on it. So the value of the house now is approx £130k with an outstanding mortgage of £75k.

My partner lost his job in 2007 and is now working for approx 1/2 his previous salary. We sold his house and moved into my mothers. He earns £1300 per mth net of tax. The mortgage is £519.00 but is not in my name. It is still in the name of my Mothers 'Estate' because I can't afford to transfer the title to me. Halifax have put it on their basic mortgage terms.

I got another job which paid very well, but have just come through a 'bullying and harassment' case (at which the bullier was found guilty and received a final written warning).

I have become ill again with anxiety and 2 weeks ago resigned my job. My GP told me 3 months ago that I need to change my lifestyle as my health is in real danger. He also put me on medication for blood pressure, angina and a dueodenal ulcer. I KNOW I was stupid to resign, but I felt as if my heart was going to explode and I just needed to get out of there. I am 58 years old and have nothing to show for it except ill health and debts. That is not self pitying - it's all been down to me. I know that.

Subsequently I have been very open with my partner and he is being very supportive, but the bottom line is that I am now in serious financial difficulty. I will complete the SOA and post it later, but need to put this down while I have the nerve.

In total I owe £60000 of unsecured debt.
I now have no income
I have never fallen behind with any payments.
I cannot envisage being fit to return to work in the forseeable future
My partner pays the mortgage but doesn't have a legal 'stake' in the property

The CCCS advised me to tell my creditors I can't pay them anything and ask that they consider freezing any interest and review in 6 months.

The only solution I can think of is to realise as many assets as possible and offer a full and final settlement at around 25% of the total amount.

I currently have approx £7000 tax rebate which I have been advised to
move to my partners account to ensure payment of the priority debts.

I hope by Christmas to be able to make an off of 25% in full and final settlement.

Has anyone got ANYTHING else they can add to help me?
What if I can't raise the money?
They'll take my home won't they!

I'm about to write the letter to the creditors, based on the Debt Remedy I got from CCCS, but I'm too frightened to send them and set the ball rolling.

I feel useless and lonely but I am trying SO hard to sort this out.:o

BeautyandtheBeast_3 · 27 July 2009 at 11:16AM

Hi, welcome and you have made the first step by coming here and writing it all down. You will get some fantastic advice and support here. Hugs xxx

Tixy · 27 July 2009 at 11:22AM

Hi Hettiecaro.

Well done for posting, its can be difficult to take the first step and get it all out and written down.

You will probably get more help and advice once you have posted your SOA up but in the meantime what assets do you have that you intend to realise to raise the £15k?

How much would it cost to transfer the mortgage into your name? And if you did this and remortgaged to a better deal how much if anything would this save you per month?

Do you have a private/employment pension and how soon would you start to recieve this?

Good luck. You are not useless and it sounds like your partner is supportive. And if you ever feel you want to talk to an outsider there is always someone around on DFW, day & night.

When you are having a bad day you also might want to introduce yourself over on the daily chat thread. The posters on there are really nice and friendly and great at giving each other support and a lift when they need it.

dancingfairy · 27 July 2009 at 11:26AM

Hi. Firstly you obviously need to try and sort your health out - easier said than done I know. Maybe having a break from work will allow you to put the bullying and the job into perspective.
Secondly it sounds like your partner is supportive as well which is great.
You need to sit down with your partner and see if you can afford the daily bills first and see where you stand with things - you said you would post your SOA which would be a big help so people can see where you are with things.
Anyway - good luck - remember it's only money at the end of the day - yes maybe you overspent and were a bit frivilous, but you've also had a bad time of it lately so take one thing a time. Your health and wellbeing are far more important to you so take it easy.
df

hettiecarro · 27 July 2009 at 12:03PM

Hi Tixy

Thank you for your reply. The mortgage cannot be transferred to me because of the amount of it in relation to my age. I tried about 8 companis for re-mortgage, but the payments go up to ridiculous levels.

As far as the assets are concerned, we currently have 2 cars - so mine can go. This will realise about £8k.

I have some antique furniture and procelain etc of my Mums which should realise about £4k and my son has said he will help with any shortfall. But I don't care if I have to do car boot sales or anything to raise the money. I just need to get free of this debt.

I have been with Nationwide Building Society for over 22 years, and I feel SO guilty telling them I can't pay them.

I have a pension, but it is not due until I am 60. I looked at the possibility of cashing it in, but it is not possible.

Sounds like I've got an answer for everything doesn't it - I haven't but I have genuinely explore as many avenues as I know how.

BeautyandtheBeast_3 · 27 July 2009 at 12:07PM

this might sound really silly but could you sort through stuff and use ebay?? xx

dancingfairy · 27 July 2009 at 12:09PM

First you need to concentrate on the priority debts - it sounds like you have arrears on them?
It's great you have already realised you have a problem and have already sought expert (free) advice.
Maybe you are doing better than you think?
Also some of the circumstances seem to have been beyond your control and sometimes stuff happens so keep going - one thing at a time.
df

Tixy · 27 July 2009 at 12:10PM

hettiecarro wrote: »

Sounds like I've got an answer for everything doesn't it - I haven't but I have genuinely explore as many avenues as I know how.

Not at all. Its just the things that came to mind. I know what you mean about feeling bad about Nationwide but you aren't trying to dodge the debt entirely you are simply unable to pay anything at the moment. And hard as it is banks don't generally deserve our loyalty. They have only done whatever they have done for you over the last 22years to benefit themselves.

hettiecarro · 27 July 2009 at 12:31PM

Thank you all for your replies.

Beauty and the Beast

I have used ebay in the past, but have been told that recently they are a waste of time. May try it again when they have their 'free listing' days.

Dancing Fairy

I am not in arrears with any of my priority debts. Just making sure the money is there to keep them going in the short term. Council tax, water rates, utilities & mortgage are all up to date.

Tixy

You're right - they've had more than their fair share out of me if I never paid them another penny - considering the interest they've charge.

Should I bite the bullet and send the letter the CCCS advised?

Do you think they will accept an offer of 25% in due course if I have no prospect of working at present?

Nargleblast · 27 July 2009 at 12:42PM

Welcome hettiecarro.

Follow CCCS advice, they know what they're talking about. Lots of us from here have had help from them.

Why not set yourself a target to clear these debts or pay off as much as possible in the next two years? Then you can start retirement relatively stress-free.

Once you post your Statement of Affairs lots of people will be able to advise on where to increase income or cut expenditure. In the meantime, have a look at the Old Style moneysaving board for tips on saving money. Suggest you cut up any credit cards now, you do not need the temptation! And open a current account with a different bank if you have any loans or credit cards with your present one.

Are there any benefits you could claim? After all, you paid your taxes so you should be able to get some help?

hettiecarro · 27 July 2009 at 1:02PM

Thank you Nargleblast.

Believe me - the credit cards are gone!

CCCS suggested a new bank so I have applied for a basic 'Step' account with Nat west. No cheque book or overdraft. Just a debit card and I can set up DD's and bill payments.

I am waiting for my partner to come home this evening before setting up the SOA - just to ensure I put everything down accurately.

I wish to goodness I had found this site months ago. You are SO helpful, and though I don't take pleasure in other people's troubles, there is some comfort to knowing there may be light at the end of the tunnel if I keep my nerve and keep going.

It's all so humiliating thoug - especially when most of it is of your own making.

Thanks

Frightened to take the step

Comments

Confirm your email address to Create Threads and Reply

🚀 Getting Started

Categories

Is this how you want to be seen?

Get our FREE Weekly email full of deals & guides - and it’s spam-free