50K in debt-And now Hubby knows

Hi Bunny,

I told my Hubby 3 years ago that I had run up approx 20k of debt. He was shocked but more concerned about my mental heath at the time, so he didnt hit the roof (I have a history of depression and was VERY unstable when I told him). He told me how disappointed he was and also asked if I had a stash of diamonds anywhere as he couldnt see where the money had gone. Eventually he got over it, we worked out a plan etc BUT i was even more stupid and im now in an even worse position that is just one of the reasons i cant talk to him about my problems now.

You obviously love your husband lots and Im sure the feeling is mutual. For better for worse and all that. Im sure once he calms down and you talk things over he will realise that you are sorting things out, that you are no win control and that you can still enjoy a lovey life together on a budget. It may take a few years to pay off your debts but you will have more debt free years after it.

Sorry, Im waffling and Im not very good at advice, after all who am I to offer it.

Stay strong, you know where I am if you need me

Big Big hugs bunny. I really hope everything works out. Reading other people's stories things can work out. Please keep us posted.

Well done bunny, you have done the right thing even if you don't feel like it at the moment it would have been much harder for you to deal with this and hide it from your husband xxxx

Well done Bunny, it took guts. I bet he suspected! I did not tell OH, she found out. We cut up cards and added it up to £36k. I sold all of my toys and Followed advice on this board. Now down to £11k. It was a huge weight off my shoulders when it was out in the open. We had seperate beds for months. Things are great now between us. Also I am now very open with ALL of my spending. Hope your relationship goes well, best wishes
R

Bunny, you've done the right thing. You obviously love him very much and to have taken the step of telling him tells me that your relationship is strong. I'm sure, given time, that he will see how hard it must have been for you and respect you for that. It is understandable that he was shocked but he will get over that. In the mean time, keep the communication between you going and remember there are always people on here to offer support.

When he feels angry or worried you might be in the position of supporting and reassuring him. When that happens you need someone to support you too, thats where we come in! When I was in debt (admittedly not as much as some on here have experienced) I made the mistake of thinking I was alone. When things got bad I realised there were people to support me (friends and family) and that they had been there all along, only I didn't know it.

I wish you all the best with the hard time you're going through. Take care of yourself

Kath