What benefits, are we entitled to - if any?

welshmoneylover wrote: »

Wow, you are one amazing, generous and kind person. I really wish you well with the rest of your pregnancy and congratulations by the way.

As for your 'instant' family, can I ask how they all get along? Do you think any of them will help you when your time comes to give birth? I mean in terms of doing laundry, washing dishes, housework etc.
(If so, take a tip from me, and take all the help you can get).

I hope your OH's career change works out ok for him, that's quite a leap he's taking, but I admire you both.

Sorry, I don't have much benefit advice for you x

Thank you welshmoneylover.

The children generally get along. They also get on well with mine and OH's respective families. At the moment, we are squeezed into our house, which will soon become a building site. This inevitably leads to arguements and squabbles, but nothing serious. They still have a lot to deal with in coming to terms with their current situation and their feelings towards their mother, her family and their fathers. They are angry and we generally get at least one outburst a day from one of them. With the 9 year old, there are a lot of insecurities - he doesn't quite believe that he this is home now and as he had the worst time in foster care, he worries a lot. When we told them that the twins are a boy and a girl, he was so upset. He told his teacher that he wanted them both to be girls because if we have a baby boy of our own, we might send him away again (the 19 y.o and 9 y.o are both boys-the rest are girls). The oldest three are upset as their mother called a few times, telling them to say that they were unhappy about living with us. She thought that if the children were still being fostered and shunted from pillar to post, it might help her to get a lighter sentence. She will be sentenced next month but we already know that she will serve at least five years - and this is her childrens' fault. The eldest child insisted on going to court to hear the evidence and discovered that she hadn't committed the offence out of fear and desperation, as she originally claimed. She did it because one of the other drug mules was her current boyfriend. He has seen first hand the effect of her relationships with unsuitable men, and for him this really is the last straw. Luckily I was able to arrange counselling for the children and hopefully, things will start to get better. Once the house is finished and they are able to settle properly, I know that things will improve.

As for housework, they all do their share. Keeping their bedrooms tidy, changing the beds is their main job, plus a bit of dusting and polishing. They also do the washing-up each evening (i.e. loading and emptying the dishwasher) and laying the table ready for breakfast the next day. The older children make dinner every Saturday - it usually consist of home made pizzas, baked potatoes or oven chips. I have just started teaching them how to sort the laundry and load the washing machine.

Financially, I am starting to feel more hopeful that there might be help available. I have a list of numbers to call tomorrow - thank you to everyone who suggested possible sources of information. My main concern, is that I don't want them to miss out on things through no fault of their own. It's ironic that their mum received free school meals, free school uniforms and didn't have to pay for school trips - while we have spent a small fortune on these things over the past four months. We do receive their child benefit, but so far we have been able to put this straight into the savings accounts that we opened in their names. If we can manage without spending it, then we will.