OS and arguments with OH

My hubby lets me do thing the way I want & he appreciates the home made meals, cakes & bread.
I'm sure if I suddenly changed & started wasting money he'd still let me.
It doesn't affect our relationship.
Yes I do find it tiring & timeconsuming as I am the main breadwinner, I have 2 jobs, one of which is only till end of July , at the moment I have 2 lodgers who I cook for & 1 is vegetarian, so I have to cook 2 different meals every evening, I also knit & sex things to sell at Christmas
We don't argue about money.

OH thinks that I'm mad trying to do everything OS...he has no idea of value of money and would likely spend the electricity bill money if left to himself...we don't argue about money, it is my responsibility to look after pennies, doesn't see that the fact that his whole pension goes on things like wine and cigarettes would keep us very poor if I didnt watch the pennies. ...not stupid, but unable to add 2 +2 as far as money is concerned. No complaints about OS food, his only needs are that food be tasty...sees no reason to budget, is under the impression that money will stretch to pay all bills. For 37 years I have been the money stretcher so see no reason that things should change now!

Marie

Hardup_Hester wrote: »

I also knit & sex things to sell at Christmas
We don't argue about money.

No wonder there is no arguments in this house, but please tell who do you sex things for:rotfl:

halia wrote: »

thanks for replies so far, I was asking because I find that I enjoy the budgeting etc but I feel that OH thinks I'm using it as an excuse not to spend quality time with him.

He does get the idea of saving money but he doesn't like the 'drip drip' approach and he hates lists. He pretty much loses interest in planning which means I have to do it all.

I am worried that given how fragile thigns are me spending MORE time on house/finance stuff will just make things worse between us. I was thinking of putting the money we save aside for a babysitter and night out and then maybe he can see the benefits?

Sounds like you need to sit down and have a lovely chat together discussing this. You say he doesn't like planning, but an important aspect of any relationship is to have shared goals in addition to individual goals. Have you ever discussed your 1yr plan? 5yr? 10yr? 20yr? Where do you both see yourselves in those time frames? What do you both hope to have achieved? Where do you plan to be living? *How* do you plan to be living? If you are both working towards shared goals and are united in your reasons for doing what you do, it's easier to remain focused and less likely to cause any rifts or upsets. By the same token, you both have to have a way to achieve your own personal dreams, ambitions and goals.

Then, like anything else you have to prioritise. If a night out using some of your savings/cost cuttings for a babysitter to achieve that aim is a priority, then absolutely, go for it! OS isn't about deprivation. It's about making the most of what you have.

If the cost of a babysitter is prohibitive right now, maybe time can be spent as a family? It's the quality of time spent really rather than the quantity (or cost). But, if he needs to see tangible "evidence", and only you can know that by talking with him, then absolutely - go for it! A strong relationship is far more important than a batch of muffins or homemade soup.

At our most hard up (7 children to support) we sat down and wrote our wish lists of wants (not needs; whims, wants, fancies) from the sublime to the ridiculous. Amusingly, my dh wrote down a large bar of chocolate (bless! :rolleyes: ) then worked up to a world cruise :laugh: It passed an evening. I stumbled across that list when I was decluttering last year. I was very surprised how many we'd accomplished - well, the do-able one's anyway

Most arguements stem from lack of communication and lack of understanding. A sit down and a good long chat can be extremely valuable - especially when you are worrying.

Best of luck.

I'm lucky enough to have married someone who's as much a tightwad as I am :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Seriously, we share similar views on money and buying *stuff*. We have a long-term plan that we're saving for, so find it easy not to spend unnecessarily. We both enjoy cooking and eating , and love spending time in the garden growing our own fruit and veg, and raising hens.

We've never argued about money.

Penny. x