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being bullied at work while pregnant
vickynleon
Posts: 493 Forumite
hi i'm just after a bit of advice, basically i'm 14 weeks pregnant and currently work 30 hours per week and i'm on my feet all day,
i havent had anytime off sick since the start of my pregnancy but i have been having alot of pain in my stomach, i had bleeding and pain at 5 weeks and had to have a scan, they couldnt see baby but there was a heart beat so i seen midwife the week after, i then had alot of pain at 11 weeks so had to go for another scan this time they could see baby and couldnt see anything else wrong that could be causing the pain, but ever since i have been having these bad pain in my stomach.
on saturday i had been awake most of the night with severe pain, i rung work to say i don;t think i'll be able to come in today, unless the pain got better but i was made to feel quilty and told to come in at 12, i didnt feel up to it but i made the effort to go in but when i got to work i started to feel worse and ended up in tears.
i went to the office in tears to ask the manager if i could go home but she stated making me out to be a liar, she basically said am i only getting the pains on the day i'm working (which i'm not as i had them most day just worse some days) she went on making me out to be a liar so i started to walk out as i didnt have the energy in me to argue, she then called me back and i had to say i'm not lying and i was so annoyed, she went on trying to say i was making it up and i'm just exaggertaing the pain, she then said i could ring someone to pick me up because i dont drive, after i rung she made a sarcatic comment. she said your looking better now, i said well i dont feel it and she said well maybe its because you know your going home.
i have been to the doctors today who has given me medicine to try and i have been booked in to see the midwife tommorrow, he then advised me i should take a week off work but they couldnt give me a sick paper because i have to go self certified for the first week, so while i was waiting for my prescription i rung work and spoke to the main manager ( who wasnt in on saturday) she again made me out to be a liar and said its just stress because i want a girl ( yes i would like a girl because i already have a little boy but aslong as the baby is healthy i don;t mind what i'm having) anyway she was very rude to me and i ended up in tears on the phone and she's basically told me that i have to ring tommorrow rather than taking that i have already said i will be taking the week off.
i have been off ill when i wasnt pregnant with chicken pox and hand foot and mouth and basically made out as if i was lying then too when i had the bloody spots and a doctors note to prove it.
i'm wondering what i can do because i really don't want to go back because mine and my baby's health is more important than money.sorry its such a long thing but wanted to put as much down as i could. any help would be greatly appreciated. thanks in advance.
i havent had anytime off sick since the start of my pregnancy but i have been having alot of pain in my stomach, i had bleeding and pain at 5 weeks and had to have a scan, they couldnt see baby but there was a heart beat so i seen midwife the week after, i then had alot of pain at 11 weeks so had to go for another scan this time they could see baby and couldnt see anything else wrong that could be causing the pain, but ever since i have been having these bad pain in my stomach.
on saturday i had been awake most of the night with severe pain, i rung work to say i don;t think i'll be able to come in today, unless the pain got better but i was made to feel quilty and told to come in at 12, i didnt feel up to it but i made the effort to go in but when i got to work i started to feel worse and ended up in tears.
i went to the office in tears to ask the manager if i could go home but she stated making me out to be a liar, she basically said am i only getting the pains on the day i'm working (which i'm not as i had them most day just worse some days) she went on making me out to be a liar so i started to walk out as i didnt have the energy in me to argue, she then called me back and i had to say i'm not lying and i was so annoyed, she went on trying to say i was making it up and i'm just exaggertaing the pain, she then said i could ring someone to pick me up because i dont drive, after i rung she made a sarcatic comment. she said your looking better now, i said well i dont feel it and she said well maybe its because you know your going home.
i have been to the doctors today who has given me medicine to try and i have been booked in to see the midwife tommorrow, he then advised me i should take a week off work but they couldnt give me a sick paper because i have to go self certified for the first week, so while i was waiting for my prescription i rung work and spoke to the main manager ( who wasnt in on saturday) she again made me out to be a liar and said its just stress because i want a girl ( yes i would like a girl because i already have a little boy but aslong as the baby is healthy i don;t mind what i'm having) anyway she was very rude to me and i ended up in tears on the phone and she's basically told me that i have to ring tommorrow rather than taking that i have already said i will be taking the week off.
i have been off ill when i wasnt pregnant with chicken pox and hand foot and mouth and basically made out as if i was lying then too when i had the bloody spots and a doctors note to prove it.
i'm wondering what i can do because i really don't want to go back because mine and my baby's health is more important than money.sorry its such a long thing but wanted to put as much down as i could. any help would be greatly appreciated. thanks in advance.
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Comments
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How long have you worked there? It's not as relevant as it is for many people as you have greater protection because you are pregnant, but it could help to know anyway.
I don't want to give any advice on what you should do as I'm not qualified to do that [aside - if only we had an emplyment law barrister on here who is qualified to give advice - oh, wait, we did, but the fools on here forced her to decide to leave - end aside], but rather than speaking to your manager yourself when you are not feeling well enough to go to work could your partner call on your behalf instead? That way anything your manager says would not be direct to you, so at least you wouldn't be getting upset by that.0 -
For goodness' sake. You have answered your own question in your last paragraph - your own and your baby's health is far more important than anything else. Take the time off and don't feel guilty about it. Don't engage them in conversation, just ring and say you're sick and not coming in. They would be very stupid to do anything that might attract a claim against them for discrimination on pregnancy grounds, but even if they do - your baby's health is more important than that.0
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Why on earth have you declared your pregnancy so early on?Science adjusts its views based on what's observed.
Faith is the denial of observation, so that belief can be preserved.
:A Tim Minchin :A
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mildred1978 wrote: »Why on earth have you declared your pregnancy so early on?
Its a sorry world when telling someone you are expecting is "declaring"
OP you need to take a stronger line
If you are unable to work,then you are unable to work
going into work and dealing with this sort of crap isnt on
obviously the practicalities of a wage etc need to be considered
take the week off and see how you fare
as for work
how long have you worked there?
does the ompany have girievence procedures?0 -
How long have you worked there? It's not as relevant as it is for many people as you have greater protection because you are pregnant, but it could help to know anyway.
I don't want to give any advice on what you should do as I'm not qualified to do that [aside - if only we had an emplyment law barrister on here who is qualified to give advice - oh, wait, we did, but the fools on here forced her to decide to leave - end aside], but rather than speaking to your manager yourself when you are not feeling well enough to go to work could your partner call on your behalf instead? That way anything your manager says would not be direct to you, so at least you wouldn't be getting upset by that.
i've been there 3 and a half years. used to work 40 hours but dropped down to 30 now if that matters. i have found info online so when my self certifited slip is sent in that will be sent to with the main parts highlighted so they know i'm not taking this laying down. my partner was going to ring earlier because i rung him crying but i said leave it for now until i had advice because he was very annoyed because he's seen me crying in pain in the house. i told work this early because i do alot of heavy lifting and obviously now i need someone else to do that for me. i'm sure the reason they are being so mean is because i'm a supervisor so now they have to struggle to find someone else to lock up on my night but tough. when my partner rung up in the past because i was off ill because i had a very bad reaction to steroid medicine and basically taken an overdose because i was over prescribed they were very rude then and said that if i dont ring up myself then i won't get paid is that true or were they just trying to be funny? thanks everyone for your advice.0 -
Its a sorry world when telling someone you are expecting is "declaring"
OP you need to take a stronger line
If you are unable to work,then you are unable to work
going into work and dealing with this sort of crap isnt on
obviously the practicalities of a wage etc need to be considered
take the week off and see how you fare
as for work
how long have you worked there?
does the ompany have girievence procedures?
i'm sorry i'm not very smart i dont have a clue about grievance procedure and what that would entail lol.0 -
vickynleon wrote: »i've been there 3 and a half years. used to work 40 hours but dropped down to 30 now if that matters. i have found info online so when my self certifited slip is sent in that will be sent to with the main parts highlighted so they know i'm not taking this laying down. my partner was going to ring earlier because i rung him crying but i said leave it for now until i had advice because he was very annoyed because he's seen me crying in pain in the house. i told work this early because i do alot of heavy lifting and obviously now i need someone else to do that for me. i'm sure the reason they are being so mean is because i'm a supervisor so now they have to struggle to find someone else to lock up on my night but tough. when my partner rung up in the past because i was off ill because i had a very bad reaction to steroid medicine and basically taken an overdose because i was over prescribed they were very rude then and said that if i dont ring up myself then i won't get paid is that true or were they just trying to be funny? thanks everyone for your advice.
companies try stuff like that all the time
yes i would expect a grown up to call in themselves unless their ailment prevented this
however its not a route for a company to go down
thats what set attendance procedures are for0 -
companies try stuff like that all the time
yes i would expect a grown up to call in themselves unless their ailment prevented this
however its not a route for a company to go down
thats what set attendance procedures are for
normally i would ring up myself as i am a grown up but think i'm going to have to leave this to my partner because i'm getting very upset and stressed and i really don't like the way i'm being spoken to, i really don't think my partner will take them speaking about me like that. i wish i could afford to finish work because today i would of just handed in my notice if i could of but my partner doesnt earn enough to cover all the bills and obviously i want to keep a roof over our heads.0 -
Don't go in if you're sick they shouldn't be making you feel guilty etc.....why would they want to stress you out anymore when you're pregnant....
I would ring them up each day and say i'm not well sorry i'm not coming in..... if the manager starts i'd say oh by the way do you mind if I have permission to record what you're saying? just in case I need to take it any further as I feel like i'm being almost harrassed by you...that might do the trick and shut her up...you need to stand up for yourself....or she'll get worse!! I know it's hard when you have no energy!! Good luck hon!
xxA lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. Unfortunately, they don't have a J.O.B."0 -
Don't go in if you're sick they shouldn't be making you feel guilty etc.....why would they want to stress you out anymore when you're pregnant....
I would ring them up each day and say i'm not well sorry i'm not coming in..... if the manager starts i'd say oh by the way do you mind if I have permission to record what you're saying? just in case I need to take it any further as I feel like i'm being almost harrassed by you...that might do the trick and shut her up...you need to stand up for yourself....or she'll get worse!! I know it's hard when you have no energy!! Good luck hon!
xx
i no, they've been horrible to me in the past and i've just taken it because i'm to soft but i need to stand up for myself more. my hormones are all over the place to so they can bring it on lol. thanks
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