Hannah_10's debt-free-wannabe diary.

Well I suppose it happens to us all sooner or later but it's happening to me today. Today I feel disheartened and demoralized with the whole process and that for everything I have done and am doing all I have to show for it is a lousy 10.72%. It all seems too much, too far from now, too hard. I don't want to play anymore. Sulk sulk.

Thanks for the support, was just having an off day. Seems all very uphill to get this burden shifted some days, but I'm getting there. Over 10% in a month does sound good you are right, although that doesn't mean I can clear it in another 9 (wouldn't that be wonderful) because a one-off benefit back payment enabled me to take off big chunks of it straight away.

I set up another transfer to my sister the other day, so although I don't currently have another tenner to give her at least I know that within a few days (when I get paid again) another little bit will surely shave off the total. Perhaps that'll make it over 11%. Perhaps that'll feel a bit better.

Yes I am pregnant, currently 27 weeks and due in late October. It has been a long time since I was last the mother of a baby and so I need all the kit all over again. This is proving to be a mission, however massive credit goes to that sister of mine who has seemingly out of nowhere counjoured up... the cot, the bedding, the pram/carseat/buggy system, the moses basket, the bottles, the clothes, the sling, the washable nappies and much more. Between her and I we worked out the other day that the only things I still need for baby's first day are monitors and a stairgate (dog control more than baby). The items I have actually had to pay for so far wouldn't fill a carrier bag! I'm visiting her next weekend and I'll be taking the rear seats of out the car before I leave to enable me to move all the free stuff she has so diligently aquired. She's been incredible!

Thankfully this means that the maternity grant (£500) and the health in pregnancy grant (£190) are likely to be available to make full and final offers to a creditor with and so I hope to be another big step nearer freedom at that point. That creditor wont be sister as she obviously deserves every penny back.

On the upside I did my first mystery shopping assignment last night and although the pay was poor for the time and travelling involved at least I did something for myself, which is another thing that is good for the soul. I need to tell the benefits agency about it on Monday. It falls well under the work levels I am permitted to do, and is good for my self-esteem though. I think I might do a little mystery shopping here and there until I am ready to get a real job. It can go on my CV!

Before I got pregnant I was just about ready to go back to work (I am on the long-term sick but have slowly improved on the whole), I was due to start at Easter time but it's a highly physical job, not suitable for a pregnant woman. Besides which pregnancy and my general health truly don't mix. So I had to call the boss and turn it down, that was very unfortunate timing because it was a very good job. The pay and hours are lousy but the qudos attatched to the company name is a true door-opener later.

It all depends if I have an easy child or a needy child but if I am fit for next easter the boss is keeping the offer open, which was an incredible self-esteem boost to find out. If baby is difficult or I need a lot of recovery time I wont be fit for easter 2011, so easter 2012 would be the next time I could start (if the boss will roll it on again), but one way or another I WILL start!

Until then though mystery shopping is easy enough, even with a bump or a little one in tow. I have to go to shops anyway, it's something that I am already doing, might as well make a quid while I'm there.

Anyway this is waffly, thanks for replying.

Gah I've fekked it all up over a CD :mad: :mad:

Oh Hannah you idiot. Idiot idiot idiot. :mad: :mad:

Bought a CD from Amazon didn't I. Used the tune-checker, thought I was the smartest smarty pants going didn't I... All of £4 for my CD album of my favourite band- fan-fekking-tastic! :j

Except I didn't read it properly, it wasn't free postage, and now today the £4 is showing on my bank account as £6.17... So off I trot to check the email... It's right. It was £6.17 and I just wasn't looking. Ace. What a total prat I am. :mad: :mad:

Why is £2.17 such a big deal? Because £2.17 was the difference between being just about in credit after the DD's go out and the DD's not going out at all. So guess what, that's a bank charge I'll be paying. That brings the total cost of that CD to £21.17 (£6.17 plus £15) and a late payment to BT to be marked on my records too. :mad: :mad:

There isn't any way I can even do a reversal on the payment because I authorised it, I fairly and squarely said yes to it, it's not Amazons fault it's mine for not looking. :mad: :mad:

I think I'm going to go and cry. :mad: :mad: