what lengths would you go to to give your child a SAHM/D?

OrkneyStar wrote: »

A house is a need, not necessarily home ownership though .

Yes but as I've said private rentals where I live often require two wages and to access social affordable rental with stable tenure is very difficult (especially if you haven't had the kids already - i.e. aren't in stable accommodation :rolleyes:)

OrkneyStar wrote: »

My DH does not earn anywhere near that amount and we survive.
Perhaps people are confusing luxuries and needs ?

I think they must be!
Either that or their calculators are broken!

flea72 wrote: »

If its possible to be a sahp without having an OH on a decent wage, could you please enlighten me to how its done, because im obviously going wrong somewhere

Assuming the figure you quoted before of £10-20k is not a decent wage I can tell you what we've done/do.

1. Staying at home gives me more time to spend on things which save money.
2. Although neither of us earned a lot before we married (and I did a PGCE the year before so wasn't earning but got £6k grant), we both lived within our means and the only debt we had was student loans which we've never earned enough to pay off.
3. Most of our furniture was given or is second hand. Those which are bought new are either fairly small things (e.g. a bathroom cabinet we just bought) or we bought them with money given to us (wedding/christmas money).
4. If possible we wait for something until we find a good deal (e.g. the bathroom cabinet was half price).
5. I keep track of how much we spend on groceries, gas and electricity and also have a spreadsheet to keep track of all spending.
6. I keep our food/grocery shopping reasonable low (although not as low as Weezl) which is much more easily done when you are at home all day and have the leisure to do things like making bread and other things from scratch. I would rather we ate HM bread and HM baked beans than shop bought anyway so would do this anyway - not just to save money.
7. I search online to get the best deal possible (and use Quidco) on things like car insurance, home insurance, internet etc. and also any "big" purchases (such as when we bought a freezer).
8. I keep an eye out for things in charity shops, sale rails, reduced sections and freecycle to get hold of things cheap/free.
9. I spend very little on clothes - I'm just like that so it's not really cutting back. OH doesn't spend much on clothes either - I more or less have to throw out falling apart clothes and order him to go clothes shopping. Our daughter's clothes have mainly been given by friends/relations or on Freecycle with the remainder coming from sales/charity shops.
10. We bought a house which needs lots of stuff doing to it but is in acceptable condition and isn't falling apart. Our next door neigbours paid £40k more for their house and it won't cost anywhere near that amount to make ours as good as theirs (and IMO we've got a better plot too).
11. We go on holiday in the UK. Actually I wouldn't go on holiday at all as I'm not that bothered (but OH likes holidays) and there are so many lovely places to go in the UK that we would consider going abroad to be something we would do maybe once in ten years rather than as our standard holiday.
12. I prefer to make things if I can rather than buy so for example we always have homemade birthday cakes and I always give HM birthday cards.

I'm sure there are other things too but that's what I can think of off the top of my head. To be honest I can't understand how people with higher incomes get into debt as I would have thought it would be easier for them to live within their means but I think it depends on the kind of lifestyle you choose to live and what material things are important to you. I guess I have relatively few wants.

SusanC wrote: »

Assuming the figure you quoted before of £10-20k is not a decent wage I can tell you what we've done/do.

1. Staying at home gives me more time to spend on things which save money.
2. Although neither of us earned a lot before we married (and I did a PGCE the year before so wasn't earning but got £6k grant), we both lived within our means and the only debt we had was student loans which we've never earned enough to pay off.
3. Most of our furniture was given or is second hand. Those which are bought new are either fairly small things (e.g. a bathroom cabinet we just bought) or we bought them with money given to us (wedding/christmas money).
4. If possible we wait for something until we find a good deal (e.g. the bathroom cabinet was half price).
5. I keep track of how much we spend on groceries, gas and electricity and also have a spreadsheet to keep track of all spending.
6. I keep our food/grocery shopping reasonable low (although not as low as Weezl) which is much more easily done when you are at home all day and have the leisure to do things like making bread and other things from scratch. I would rather we ate HM bread and HM baked beans than shop bought anyway so would do this anyway - not just to save money.
7. I search online to get the best deal possible (and use Quidco) on things like car insurance, home insurance, internet etc. and also any "big" purchases (such as when we bought a freezer).
8. I keep an eye out for things in charity shops, sale rails, reduced sections and freecycle to get hold of things cheap/free.
9. I spend very little on clothes - I'm just like that so it's not really cutting back. OH doesn't spend much on clothes either - I more or less have to throw out falling apart clothes and order him to go clothes shopping. Our daughter's clothes have mainly been given by friends/relations or on Freecycle with the remainder coming from sales/charity shops.
10. We bought a house which needs lots of stuff doing to it but is in acceptable condition and isn't falling apart. Our next door neigbours paid £40k more for their house and it won't cost anywhere near that amount to make ours as good as theirs (and IMO we've got a better plot too).
11. We go on holiday in the UK. Actually I wouldn't go on holiday at all as I'm not that bothered (but OH likes holidays) and there are so many lovely places to go in the UK that we would consider going abroad to be something we would do maybe once in ten years rather than as our standard holiday.
12. I prefer to make things if I can rather than buy so for example we always have homemade birthday cakes and I always give HM birthday cards.

I'm sure there are other things too but that's what I can think of off the top of my head. To be honest I can't understand how people with higher incomes get into debt as I would have thought it would be easier for them to live within their means but I think it depends on the kind of lifestyle you choose to live and what material things are important to you. I guess I have relatively few wants.

LOL, exactly.
As you have a DD and me a DS, clearly you are not really me, but you sound very like me indeedy! :D

Ms_Piggy wrote: »

Your financial situation sounds similar to ours - we're struggling though. How do you manage??

We had savings which we seem to have used pretty much all of while I was off on maternity leave, didn't help that bf was made redundant half way through.

My wages are just £2,000, so our mortgage is half my wages, so the other half is spent on our bills! I have a spreadsheet of everything that is going out and we have no luxuries, simple as that.

We get a free child tax credits, but we have always lived a frugal existence. We just about manage. Bf is a stay at home dad and although I would prefer to be there with her as she's only 8 months old, it's just not feasible at the moment.

As for everyone saying to downsize, we have a 3 bed house and only "need" a 2 bedroom, but I don't think we'd save any money. It's costs lots to sell a house and then buy a new one. What with estate agent fees and stamp duty etc...