Thank you

thegolden

Thanks everyone 

Emmia

Are you divorcing?

thegolden

I don’t want too and hoppfuly she doesn’t after 27 years I’m heart broken, no divorce has been filed 

elsien

Is the mortgage in both your names?

thegolden

Yes, I wanted to sell this house but a cheaper one with a very small mortgage but she said she would want her half is this house is sold 

Emmia

thegolden said:

Yes, I wanted to sell this house but a cheaper one with a very small mortgage but she said she would want her half is this house is sold 

If you're married and now separated then the natural route is probably divorce and a financial settlement. That settlement will take into account income, pensions, the children - so you might get most of the equity in the property... or you might not. 

I would say that you should expect that a divorce will happen, and I'd seek legal advice/mediation. She's walked out for whatever reason, so I'd be on the front foot about this.

Hoenir

Seek advice from a family law solicitor. Understand fully what your rights are. The welfare of the children is paramount as far as the courts are concerned.  

Pollycat

You refer to 'my' children.
Are they both yours and your wife's?
How old are they?

You might find this useful:
UK's most visited website for free divorce advice (wikivorce.com)

I don't think you should expect to keep all of the equity after such a long marriage.

elsien

Any financial arrangement when divorcing will take into account all assets – not just the property, but savings, pensions, et cetera on both sides. 

You can’t just look at the house in isolation. You can’t take all the equity and leave her with nothing unless there are other assets to balance that out and the reason I was asking about whose name the mortgage was it is because if it’s both of you and the house is in both your names, you cannot do anything without her consent anyway. 

There are also the questions around who earns what,  if the children are both of yours what proportion of time they will spend with each of you, and child maintenance to sort out. 

Have you been able to have any of those conversations yet?

maybe she just needs time. You said you don’t want to divorce. She appears unclear what she wants.
In that situation. It’s too soon to be talking about selling houses and downsizing.

thegolden

The children are ours, she wants the kids every other weekend and will see them to say good night on the nights she can, no savings, she has the main job with good pension, we have agreed to pay half each of all the bills for now, I do t want to move from the house but it’s not cheap per month, my idea was to sell downsize once the youngest is 18 sell and have half each. 

Thanks for the help, I’m a broken man and don’t know what to do

elsien

It’s not reasonable to expect her to wait for her share of any equity until the children are 18. She does need to have her own place where the children can stay as well.
if paying half the bills, each keeps things going for now, then keep going while all this sinks in and you both decide what you want/need to do.
If the  split is permanent then look at mediation. It’s better for everyone, as long as there is no coercion going on, because you don’t want to get into expensive legal battles, if you can possibly help it.


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