parents full time working

iammumtoone

It looks like I may be taking a full time job currently I work 20 hours within school times.

I have some questions how people manage. I am a single parent but I don't think that is necessarily relevant in this situation it can't be that much different to two parents working full time.

How do you do homework? I will not get home until 6.30 then will have to sort tea straight away with everything else bath etc not sure where the time comes in for this?

What about dentists/doctors for child? I am not allowed time off for this (only my medical needs) so how do I arrange this, my son needs medical appointments/assessments for his ADHD and upcoming ASD assessment so not just talking about if he gets ill. Do you take holiday for this? this will mean cutting the amount of holiday available to do fun things with him.

Time for yourself to relax - How do you find it. My son does not sleep he is never asleep before 12pm. Do you just manage on the occasional 10 minutes here and there when everything is quiet?

House work - where does this fit in when you are either at work or looking after your child(ren).

Shopping - how do you manage to get things that are needed (my son will not go shopping it stresses him) Food shopping I can order online but what about everything else? Do you order everything online?

Clubs - this is probably irrelevant in my case as my son dispite me trying to persuade him will not attend clubs but I am hoping this will change in the future. How do you get your child there most start at I guess at 7 do you rush everything to get them ready in time. I am afraid my son does not do rushing

Child is in year 6. My other worry is secondary school when there is no childcare available but my son is not safe to be left alone in the house. What do others do in this situation?

Anything else I need to consider?

I am dreading it my son is hard work (you may have seen some of my other threads but this isn't about that its about how full time working parents manage).

I have the opportunity of a well paid full time job meaning I will come off benefits completely not sure if my conscious will allow me to turn it down, isn't that what everyone should be aiming for? However on the other side not sure if my MH will cope with the stress of not the job but looking after a child as well or if indeed it will damage my child health by taking it. (he is certainly going to be a nightmare at first but I hope he will get used to it)

Its so hard, in some ways I wish the opportunity didn't come up.

[purplesignup][/purplesignup]

iammumtoone

I am so stressed by all this think I am heading for a breakdown myself :eek:

What do, you do? Do you come off all benefits great I truly believe they are only there for those who really need them not to prop up everyone.

Or do you put the heath of yours and more importantly your childs first? and just manage (living off JSA is not easy despite what people would like to believe)

But then other/plenty of parents do work full time I am sure whether they have a child with issues or not they would still prefer not to.

tooldle

You will manage. Routine is key. When my child was younger i would do a lot of preperation at the weekend. Now i tend to use my slow cooker a lot, or part prepare dinner the night before.
I try to do a little housework every evening. i leave early in the morning, but you might have time to squeeze a few bits in the morning i.e. Throw the washing in the machine, mop floors etc.
Meal plan, batch cook, etc.
Going into year seven kids start to become more independent with homework. Can you keep an eye on progress whilst getting a few bits of housework done.
Shopping for things other than food is generally done online.
Good luck to you.

Skibunny40

Who is looking after him after school? - apologies if I've missed this in your post.
Could he do homework there? Could that person take him to daytime appointments?
Will you be working in town - if so, perhaps you could do shopping in your lunch hour? Or come to an arrangement with another mother that she takes your child for a couple of hours one weekend, then you do the same for her the following weekend?

iammumtoone

Thanks, Yes mornings I could get up earlier to get some bits done, just never being able to sleep until gone 1 in the morning most nights I don't fancy getting up at 6 (that would give me an hour) I need my sleep. I suppose I will get used to it plenty survive on less sleep, I can't have everything.

iammumtoone

Skibunny40 wrote: »

Who is looking after him after school? - various, different each day mix between relatives and paid childcare apologies if I've missed this in your post.
Could he do homework there? Could that person take him to daytime appointments? paid childcare don't do this, relatives not fair to ask as it is extremely hard work and struggle to get him to do it plus to be honest relatives probably wouldn't understand it - I have a hard job sometimes :rotfl:
Will you be working in town - if so, perhaps you could do shopping in your lunch hour? unfortunately not by the time I go into town it would be time to head back to work again Or come to an arrangement with another mother that she takes your child for a couple of hours one weekend, then you do the same for her the following weekend? something to think about thanks.

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rhino_horn

Could you get a cleaner? Even if they come fortnightly that would take the pressure off a bit.

I buy nearly everything online, I probably go to the high street one every 6 months. No big deal.

Slow cooker is a life saver, big batch cook and then freeze. Then you've got portions to defrost during the week.

Be organised, prep what you can at the weekend. Washing, ironing etc.

Your new job may allow you to make up hours if you have to take your son to a medical appointment, worth finding out. Just have to try and make the appointments as early or late in the day as possible.

Often the thought of it is worse than the reality. Give it a go and see what happen. You'll make it work.

iammumtoone

Yes I though of a cleaner myself, do you also get tidy uppers?

I can't see where I could make up hours as already full time so no extra hours available to fit in company does not work weekends - How do others make it work? Making up hours is what I currently do in these situations when I can't get an appointment outside work hours but when you are only working 20 this leaves plenty of time for flexibility.

tooldle

Holidays or unpaid leave is normal, unless you have a flexi time arrangement. I always keep a day of flexi in hand for emergencies, and lieu time as well, if i can. Could you catch up from home in the evenings?
Can you ask others who work in the company how they work things?

iammumtoone

tooldle wrote: »

Can you ask others who work in the company how they work things?

None of them have regular appointments. I am sure all of their child(ren) need to see the doctor at some point I suspect the company just give them the time for this.

We are taking more than that I am trying to get my child some kind of counseling, which will be needed even more if I work full time. This needs to be a regular thing. He needs to see the ADHD consultant once every 3/4 months this is a whole morning appointment. I don't know how many assessments and time it will take for ASD assessment. I need to see the school SENCO regularly as he has problems that I keep needing to address with them.

Also I am on the phone to CHAMS getting advise for half hour on average once a week ( I have to take the call when they ring back but hopefully I can make up this time during dinner break)

Tigsteroonie

Something else for you to think about - you'll get maybe four or five weeks of annual leave in the year; your child will have 13+ weeks of holiday in the year. You need robust arrangements to cover the difference, plus there is no guarantee that you'll be able to take all of your annual leave during the school holidays as there may be colleagues who want the same weeks.

Personally, if I were a single parent, I wouldn't work full-time.

I don't have to cover the holidays as Marley is a stay-at-home parent, but it is still tricky to juggle the need for a break as a family with the need to use my annual leave days for our lad's various appointments including school meetings. I know that I could take parental leave, but that is unpaid so it impacts our household income. And as a Mum I feel really guilty going to work when our lad is poorly, even though Marley is home to take care of him, it's just a "Mum" thing.

I work with a colleague who is single mum to a young girl who isn't disabled, for whom finding a childminder or holiday play scheme is easier.. Dad is on the scene and can help when he's in the mood. But she still struggles to stretch her annual leave to cover the school holidays; our employer allows a paid emergency day if our child is poorly, but only the one, after which you're expected to use paid/unpaid leave; and she too has the guilt of not being there all the time for her daughter.

Sorry, probably not the answer you were looking for!