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  • FIRST POST
    • MSE Kelvin
    • By MSE Kelvin 19th Nov 19, 5:09 PM
    • 87Posts
    • 196Thanks
    MSE Kelvin
    0 WOW
    Money Moral Dilemma: Should I pay my friend for a smashed bottle of wine?
    • #1
    • 19th Nov 19, 5:09 PM
    0 WOW
    Money Moral Dilemma: Should I pay my friend for a smashed bottle of wine? 19th Nov 19 at 5:09 PM
    This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

    I asked a friend to buy me an expensive bottle of wine while she was away on holiday. Unfortunately it smashed in her case on the way home. Should I still pay her as she's been left out of pocket, or should I not?

    Unfortunately the MSE team can't always answer money moral dilemma questions as contributions are often emailed in or suggested in person. They are intended to be enjoyed as a point of debate and discussed at face value.

    If you havenít already, join the forum to reply!

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Page 1
    • VfM4meplse
    • By VfM4meplse 19th Nov 19, 5:14 PM
    • 32,297 Posts
    • 66,989 Thanks
    VfM4meplse
    • #2
    • 19th Nov 19, 5:14 PM
    • #2
    • 19th Nov 19, 5:14 PM
    For the sake of your friendship, pay up without arguing and don't ask again. I would probably draw the line at the cost of replacing damaged items.
    Value-for-money-for-me-puhleeze!

    "No man is worth, crawling on the earth"- adapted from Bob Crewe and Bob Gaudio

    Hope is not a strategy ...A child is for life, not just 18 years....Don't get me started on the NHS, because you won't win...I love chaz-ing!
    • FtbDreaming
    • By FtbDreaming 19th Nov 19, 5:19 PM
    • 154 Posts
    • 288 Thanks
    FtbDreaming
    • #3
    • 19th Nov 19, 5:19 PM
    • #3
    • 19th Nov 19, 5:19 PM
    Yes you asked for it and the friend bought it. It's probably wrecked a lot of their own things too if its not washable. Id be fuming if you asked then didnt pay.
    • Meshuggahlad
    • By Meshuggahlad 19th Nov 19, 7:36 PM
    • 1 Posts
    • 7 Thanks
    Meshuggahlad
    • #4
    • 19th Nov 19, 7:36 PM
    • #4
    • 19th Nov 19, 7:36 PM
    Your friend only spent money on that bottle of wine because you asked them to. They'll be wondering what sort of friend you are if you don't offer to pay them! You need to give them the money, it's up to them if they choose to accept it.
    • Pollycat
    • By Pollycat 19th Nov 19, 7:40 PM
    • 24,437 Posts
    • 65,723 Thanks
    Pollycat
    • #5
    • 19th Nov 19, 7:40 PM
    • #5
    • 19th Nov 19, 7:40 PM
    OK.
    A MMD.
    Why was this first posted on the Overseas holidays board and then moved to the 'Food shopping and Groceries' board?
    Really?
    If MSE can't post stuff on the appropriate board, what hope do we have from ordinary posters?
    • KaelaLee88
    • By KaelaLee88 19th Nov 19, 7:45 PM
    • 2 Posts
    • 61 Thanks
    KaelaLee88
    • #6
    • 19th Nov 19, 7:45 PM
    • #6
    • 19th Nov 19, 7:45 PM
    Pay your friend. They were kind enough to try and bring it back for you and as others have said, it may have damaged some of their posessions. It's a financial loss but it was a risk you were clearly willing to take (that it could be broken on arrival) when you asked your friend to get it for you. Life is not like a returns policy! Your friendship is more important than a bottle of wine x
    "Araf deg mae mynd ymhell" - "Go Slowly, Go Far" <3
    • diggingahole
    • By diggingahole 19th Nov 19, 7:56 PM
    • 24 Posts
    • 23 Thanks
    diggingahole
    • #7
    • 19th Nov 19, 7:56 PM
    • #7
    • 19th Nov 19, 7:56 PM
    YES.... at the very least you should pay for the wine.
    It actually is a concern you even need to ask tbh
    • Milie
    • By Milie 19th Nov 19, 8:31 PM
    • 7 Posts
    • 14 Thanks
    Milie
    • #8
    • 19th Nov 19, 8:31 PM
    Of course
    • #8
    • 19th Nov 19, 8:31 PM
    What was the circumstance in which a bottle of wine was so important that it had to come from a place where you were not going yourself, rather than you ordering similar from a wine merchant or supermarket here? And why didnít you give the money to your friend before they left? It must have been a good friend to spend holiday time shopping for it and packing it. Itís foolish to transport that kind of thing in luggage. Unless purchased in the airport, your friend had no option but to put it in a suitcase where it was at the mercy of baggage handlers, trolleys, automatic carriers etc. It will have wrecked other stuff in the suitcase. Of course you should pay for it. And the cleaning!
    • REJP
    • By REJP 19th Nov 19, 9:13 PM
    • 138 Posts
    • 178 Thanks
    REJP
    • #9
    • 19th Nov 19, 9:13 PM
    Smashed bottle of wine.
    • #9
    • 19th Nov 19, 9:13 PM
    Presumably your friend had travel insurance (as always recommended on MSE.).
    So she claims for the wine and damage to contents within her suitcase.
    Dilemma?
    • snootybutnice
    • By snootybutnice 19th Nov 19, 9:24 PM
    • 12 Posts
    • 18 Thanks
    snootybutnice
    There is a simple answer
    The quick answer is yes. The longer answer is you need to find a way to come up with the best answer yourself. When I can't decide on something I find it easier to switch tables and put myself the the other persons shoes. Imagine...you had £2500 for a holiday - but £500 was for a friend who asked you to buy an even more expensive bottle of wine. You agree. You take time out of your holiday to go to the shops - you take out your money which you can't use on your holiday to buy it - you cart it around and it's heavy but you do it anyway because it's a good friend. You pack it neatly and then some !!!! throws your case around and breaks your friends bottle. It goes all over your non-waterproof watch, your clothes and the inside of your case has splinters of glass in - weaving their way into your clothes so you have to spend an hour or more painstakingly cleaning and rinsing everthing - you may even get a glass splinter in your finger for your troubles. You see your friend and explain. Would you most prefer the response to be: Blank irritated stare, arms crossed with the words..."well don't expect me to pay you for it" OR a warm smile with the words "oh no...what a disaster...sorry that happened, I really appreciate you trying for me - tell me all about it; let me get you a drink and square up with you though".
    • Deelight
    • By Deelight 19th Nov 19, 9:57 PM
    • 1 Posts
    • 6 Thanks
    Deelight
    Absolutely yes!
    They have bought it, carried it around etc etc.....
    I am surprised this question has even been asked!
    • happyinflorida
    • By happyinflorida 19th Nov 19, 11:05 PM
    • 792 Posts
    • 680 Thanks
    happyinflorida
    discuss it with them

    it broke - how? wasn't it wrapped up properly - every time I've brought a bottle of wine back from abroad, I've always wrapped it in a towel so it doesn't break

    are you sure it did break? have you seen evidence of that? if not, are they lying because they couldn't be bothered to get it for you?

    ask to see their suitcase before offering any money if you feel obliged to do so - any excuses made, don't offer

    are they asking for repmt? if not, see the case to prove it happened and then offer something if you want to
    • jaygra51
    • By jaygra51 20th Nov 19, 3:02 AM
    • 6 Posts
    • 6 Thanks
    jaygra51
    Yes
    Iíd definitely pay it and, if they have insurance, the bottle was well protected and they have the receipt, then they should get the money for it without any problem.
    • jaygra51
    • By jaygra51 20th Nov 19, 3:04 AM
    • 6 Posts
    • 6 Thanks
    jaygra51
    I certainly wouldn’t do anything that you’ve suggested, that’s one sure fire way to lose a friend!
    • anotheruser
    • By anotheruser 20th Nov 19, 6:38 AM
    • 2,823 Posts
    • 1,602 Thanks
    anotheruser
    I'd love to have a lot of you as friends!

    You asked someone to get you something and they did but it broke.
    I wouldn't expect your friend to ask you to pay for something that's broken.

    If they didn't pack it properly, there's only one person to blame there.

    If you're happy to pay for broken things, go pay for it.
    • palman
    • By palman 20th Nov 19, 8:21 AM
    • 81 Posts
    • 9 Thanks
    palman
    ok perhaps I am a sceptic but did anyone see the broken bottle, wet clothes? receipt? Are we sure it was even bought is my drift. Of course it really does depend on how expensive the wine was and was this a really good friend to be worth just pocketing the money. I for a fact know some people that would lie to pocket a few quid.
    • socksy
    • By socksy 20th Nov 19, 8:21 AM
    • 2 Posts
    • 0 Thanks
    socksy
    Smashed Bottles!
    Yes, its not your friends fault it got smashed, and she did pay for it beforehand?
    I would definitely pay and thank her for going to the trouble to actually get it x
    • MarkSpark
    • By MarkSpark 20th Nov 19, 8:26 AM
    • 1 Posts
    • 2 Thanks
    MarkSpark
    I suggest you have the moral sensibility of a reptile, so here's a plan:

    You are not a proper friend by any normal reckoning of friendship, having got this far in adult life without any moral compass. The sooner this fact is out in the open for your friend and mutual friends to see, the better. Then they can either drop you as a friend, or handle you at a distance metaphorically wearing not kid gloves, but rather, welding gauntlets.

    So, refuse to pay so everyone sees you in your true light. OK?

    ALTERNATELY: Use this unfortunate incident to look into your psyche and wonder why you are like this, and what you can do to change. Friendship and care make the world a much better place for everyone. As suggested elsewhere please put yourself in other peoples shoes. In this case apologise profusely that this unfortunate event should have happened, pay for the wine and cleaning bills/ new luggage without hesitation. If a garment is permanently stained foot the cost of a new one.

    Expensive? Quite possibly. But your friend was kind enough to you to go shopping on your behalf while on holiday, acted in good faith, and there was an unintended consequence affecting the friend. Because the action was on your behalf you should rectify it. Others here express that very well.

    But most of all please treat this as a wakeup call....
    • SWGranny
    • By SWGranny 20th Nov 19, 8:35 AM
    • 2 Posts
    • 1 Thanks
    SWGranny
    I think the fairest solution would be to both pay half the cost. It is not your fault that the wine bottle was broken, but it is you who asked for it. I don't know if it is through negligence that the wine bottle broke, ie it was not sufficiently wrapped for transit, or whether it was a genuine accident. If it was not sufficiently packed then it is partly your friend's fault.
    • minislim
    • By minislim 20th Nov 19, 8:39 AM
    • 345 Posts
    • 209 Thanks
    minislim
    yes. of course. they paid out of their own money for it.
    otherwise you'll find that next time you ask them you'll probably get no.
    you never know they might refuse to take the money.
    but its always polite to offer.
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