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  • FIRST POST
    • Toni.benne
    • By Toni.benne 11th Apr 18, 2:13 AM
    • 18Posts
    • 1Thanks
    Toni.benne
    Wanting to change my child's surname
    • #1
    • 11th Apr 18, 2:13 AM
    Wanting to change my child's surname 11th Apr 18 at 2:13 AM
    Hi guys really in need of some help in 2005 I got pregnant to a guy never lived together was a casual thing my daughter was born in 2006 and her dad was a total bas#@rd he was abusive violent ect but most of the time it was easier to be nice to him and this is why I'm in this situation so anyway we went to register my child's birth and I was petrified of him I know he gave false information on the birth certificate but there was nothing i could do he told me to keep my mouth shut and said why he lied was so I couldn't chase him for maintenance. So after years of bull from him in 2009 I got sick to death and would phone the police every time he did something to me cause I could take it no more I had about a 9 month rest from him as I moved and he didn't know where I'd gone but he found out anyway in Sep 2009 he decided to break into my property and steal what he could including my car the police was concerned that much for my welfare as he kept treating to kill me ect they moved me to a local authority house and he hasn't bothered since I did in the end take him to court and he got a 1000 fine!! So since then I haven't had no contact with him and in 2010 ended up with my new partner and had another child we are still together and my daughter sees him as her dad she doesn't even know anything about the other guy so in 2011 I changed her surname by deed poll to my surname as she was starting school ect and I didn't want her to be confused she is known by my surname in everything apart from her passport and birth certificate so 2013 we had our first family holiday I accepted the passport in her biological fathers name as it was too close to holiday to do anything about it and just took her deed poll and her birth certificate to show I was her mother and it work we have booked another holiday this year in Aug and her passport was due for renewal I sent all evidence that she is known by my surname bit they have emailed me to say i either need permission from her biological father to change name or a court order!! The problem I'm having is I just don't understand all the legal stuff I'm willing to get a court order and I hope it doesn't cost a fortune so the questions I'm stuck at Are-
    Do I need a solocitor or can I represent myself?
    I have never had any money for her and I've had no contact whatsoever since 2009 and the 3 years previous to that was very brief only when he wanted something ect never nothing to do with his daughter's welfare.
    I have limited information about him the only information I have is what's on birth certificate and I know most of that is lies so what will court do about contacting him??
    Also he knows where he could contact me as my mum and dad still live in same house and he's never made no effort at all!!
    So from what I've told you id appreciate anyone who's been in a similar situation and offer me any advise please
    Also today I have been to my local family court and got a c100 form to start the process asap I'm also seeing some legal adviser on Leeds on Thursday to help me fill the form out honestly I've been told so much stuff o don't know what to think ?? And I'm scared as I don't want them to contact him really cause I've a feeling he would try make the situation as hard as possible for me!
    It just makes me angry that me and my partner have to go through all this so we can enjoy a family holiday and I've been caring for since birth and my other half has been on her life since 2010
Page 1
    • TonyMMM
    • By TonyMMM 11th Apr 18, 8:47 AM
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    TonyMMM
    • #2
    • 11th Apr 18, 8:47 AM
    • #2
    • 11th Apr 18, 8:47 AM
    As he is named on the birth certificate he automatically has joint parental responsibility and you won't be allowed to change the surname without his permission, or - if he can't be traced, then a court order would be needed.

    Was the deed poll done yourself or through a solicitor ? Any solicitor should have advised you of the above issue.

    If you have evidence he lied at the registration, then he committed a serious imprisonable offence by doing so (perjury). That may allow you to have his details altered - possibly (but not likely) removed. That could be done through the registration office, but isn't a straightforward process.

    You need proper legal advice & help to sort this out, otherwise this will be an issue until your daughter is 18.
    Last edited by TonyMMM; 11-04-2018 at 8:54 AM.
    • PeacefulWaters
    • By PeacefulWaters 11th Apr 18, 8:55 AM
    • 8,235 Posts
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    PeacefulWaters
    • #3
    • 11th Apr 18, 8:55 AM
    • #3
    • 11th Apr 18, 8:55 AM
    I'm sorry. I'm hyperventilating trying to read that.
    • elsien
    • By elsien 11th Apr 18, 9:04 AM
    • 16,175 Posts
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    elsien
    • #4
    • 11th Apr 18, 9:04 AM
    • #4
    • 11th Apr 18, 9:04 AM
    The short version:

    OP had child with someone.
    Their name is on the birth certificate as father.
    OP says the ex lied on the birth certificate (incorrect information not specified.) Not challenged by OP as history of domestic violence.
    OPs child is going by surname of new partner, ex has had no contact for years.
    OP wants to know how to get Childs name officially changed without the ex knowing so they can get a passport in the new name to go on holiday.
    Last edited by elsien; 11-04-2018 at 9:07 AM.
    All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.

    Pedant alert - it's could have, not could of.
    • elsien
    • By elsien 11th Apr 18, 9:12 AM
    • 16,175 Posts
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    elsien
    • #5
    • 11th Apr 18, 9:12 AM
    • #5
    • 11th Apr 18, 9:12 AM
    PS you say your daughter doesn't know anything her biological father.

    If by that you mean that she thinks your current partner is her biological father you really need to find a way to tell her before she finds out for r herself.
    All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.

    Pedant alert - it's could have, not could of.
    • suejb2
    • By suejb2 11th Apr 18, 9:55 AM
    • 1,360 Posts
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    suejb2
    • #6
    • 11th Apr 18, 9:55 AM
    Names
    • #6
    • 11th Apr 18, 9:55 AM
    What was the false information he gave on registration?
    Life is like a bath, the longer you are in it the more wrinkly you become.
    • TBagpuss
    • By TBagpuss 11th Apr 18, 12:14 PM
    • 6,434 Posts
    • 8,323 Thanks
    TBagpuss
    • #7
    • 11th Apr 18, 12:14 PM
    • #7
    • 11th Apr 18, 12:14 PM
    OP, you will need your ex's agreement or a court order.
    Your application for an order will need to be served on your ex so that he has the opportunity to object if he wants to do so.

    Courts tend to be reluctant to change a child's name.
    However, the fact that she had been known by your current partner's name for the past 7 years is relevant and may cause a judge to determine that it would be reasonable to allow the official change, rather than make her change back to a name she is not familiar with.

    However, this is not guaranteed, and you may well be criticised for having changed her name without her father's agreement.

    Also - what did you say on your deed poll? Normally these would be signed by both parents or include details of the other parent's consent - did you declare that your ex had PR and had not provided his consent?
    • sheramber
    • By sheramber 11th Apr 18, 1:42 PM
    • 4,507 Posts
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    sheramber
    • #8
    • 11th Apr 18, 1:42 PM
    • #8
    • 11th Apr 18, 1:42 PM
    Was the birth registered in England?

    http://www.deedpoll.org.uk/CanIChangeMyChildsName.html

    4.2 Acquisition of parental responsibility by unmarried fathers
    Unmarried fathers can acquire parental responsibility by:

    Subsequent marriage to the mother.
    Being named on the child's birth certificate from: 1st December 2003 in England and Wales, from 4th May 2006 in Scotland, from 15th April 2002 in Northern Ireland, from 1st November 2013 in the Isle of Man and from 4th January 2010 in the Bailiwick of Guernsey.



    https://deedpolloffice.com/change-name/children/applying-for-a-court-order
    • Toni.benne
    • By Toni.benne 11th Apr 18, 3:06 PM
    • 18 Posts
    • 1 Thanks
    Toni.benne
    • #9
    • 11th Apr 18, 3:06 PM
    • #9
    • 11th Apr 18, 3:06 PM
    When i did deed poll I advised and sent evidence of what had been going on and they changed it without his consent. My daughter has my surname not her step fathers.
    • Toni.benne
    • By Toni.benne 11th Apr 18, 3:09 PM
    • 18 Posts
    • 1 Thanks
    Toni.benne
    I have never told her cause I don't want to her father was horrible and made my life a misery lucky for her she was too young to know and I cut the chains before she had time to realise
    • Toni.benne
    • By Toni.benne 11th Apr 18, 3:12 PM
    • 18 Posts
    • 1 Thanks
    Toni.benne
    He said he had middle names which I know he didn't also his address where he lived at the time I think only truth on it was his date of birth. I just didn't know what to do at the time I look back now and wish I'd of stood up and said your not doing this it's my daughter's life !!!! But I didn't and I hold alot of guilt for that
    • Toni.benne
    • By Toni.benne 11th Apr 18, 3:14 PM
    • 18 Posts
    • 1 Thanks
    Toni.benne
    Yes it was done on England I wasn't married to him thank god
    • Toni.benne
    • By Toni.benne 11th Apr 18, 3:15 PM
    • 18 Posts
    • 1 Thanks
    Toni.benne
    Sorry about the lack of full stops? I just wanted to get everything down.
    • Toni.benne
    • By Toni.benne 11th Apr 18, 3:17 PM
    • 18 Posts
    • 1 Thanks
    Toni.benne
    Tbh my plan is to fill this c100 form in and apply at court, I'll take a chance on them not finding him or him not be bothered and if it comes to it and he won't let me do it ( which o hope it doesn't come to that) I'll then get a solocitor and fight him all the way. In my eyes he hasn't a leg to stand on.
    • TBagpuss
    • By TBagpuss 11th Apr 18, 3:39 PM
    • 6,434 Posts
    • 8,323 Thanks
    TBagpuss
    It isn't up to them to find him.

    You will need to provide an address for him and satisfy the court that he has been served (the papers received by him). Before you fill in the C100 I'd suggest that you try to find his address, as you will need to put that on the form.

    if you don't want him to know your address you can also fill in a separate form (C 8, i think) to request that your address is kept confidential. Bear in mind he will see the C100 and anything you write on it.

    (If you split your posts into paragraphs, with spaces between them, and use capital letters at the start of sentences and full stops at the end, it is easier for people to read them, and to then help you.)
    • gettingtheresometime
    • By gettingtheresometime 11th Apr 18, 3:40 PM
    • 3,517 Posts
    • 8,716 Thanks
    gettingtheresometime
    I have never told her cause I don't want to her father was horrible and made my life a misery lucky for her she was too young to know and I cut the chains before she had time to realise
    Originally posted by Toni.benne

    My only comment to that is that she should know if only because there may be a medical condition lurking in his family that she should be aware of
    Lloyds OD / Natwest OD / PO CC / Wescott / Argos Card cleared thanks to the 1 debt v 100 day challenge


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    • Loz01
    • By Loz01 11th Apr 18, 3:48 PM
    • 1,527 Posts
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    Loz01
    Cant you just provide the last address you knew for him or the one he put on the birth certificate? If he's long gone then he wont receive the papers anyway and cant contest it?
    The fact is that more people have been slaughtered in the name of religion than for any other single reason. That, my friends, is a true perversion - Harvey Milk
    • swingaloo
    • By swingaloo 11th Apr 18, 6:19 PM
    • 1,802 Posts
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    swingaloo
    Do you intend to tell your child the birth fathers name when she gets older or act as if he doesn't exist?
    • Ms Chocaholic
    • By Ms Chocaholic 11th Apr 18, 6:26 PM
    • 9,255 Posts
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    Ms Chocaholic
    So do you want to change your daughter's name again to her stepfather's name or officially change it to your surname.
    Thrifty Till 50 Then Spend Till The End

    You can please some of the people some of the time, all of the people some of the time, some of the people all of the time but you can never please all of the people all of the time
    • avogadro
    • By avogadro 11th Apr 18, 6:45 PM
    • 3,991 Posts
    • 7,069 Thanks
    avogadro
    My only comment to that is that she should know if only because there may be a medical condition lurking in his family that she should be aware of
    Originally posted by gettingtheresometime
    That could be said for a huge number of us who have had little or no contact with one birth parent!
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