Wanting to change my child's surname

MothballsWallet

gettingtheresometime wrote: »

My only comment to that is that she should know if only because there may be a medical condition lurking in his family that she should be aware of

I agree with this - please, please, Toni, get this sorted for your daughter's sake.

Just some background: I've recently found out that my biological mother didn't put my biological father's name on my actual birth certificate.

Now I don't know if there are any medical conditions in his side of the DNA mix or not.

MothballsWallet

Ms_Chocaholic wrote: »

No adoption isn't an easier solution; for a start the LA won't even consider it if your daughter doesn't even know who her birth father is and they would need you to tell her before this is even considered and talk about it with her. Also it's not a quick process.

I was put up for adoption in Scotland - it took almost 5 years before my Mum and Dad got full adoption for me.

humptydumptybits

The name is irrelevant when it comes to taking her abroad. You should have his permission to take her out of the country whatever her name is or you can be accused of child abduction. Don't suppose he would know or bother by the sound of it. I think you can get the courts permission if he won't give it or you don't know where he is.

marywooyeah

Ms_Chocaholic wrote: »

The OP can't do anything to remove her daughter's dad's Parental responsibility, that will remain until she reaches the age of 18. The only process that removes PR is adoption which clearly isn't being considered here.

This is not correct. It is possible to apply to discharge someone's PR in a private law children matter and each case will turn on it's own facts, but generally it is rare that the Court will be persuaded to discharge the PR. I've only seen it happen in one case and the facts were extreme - it involved the child witnessing the murder of the mother.

marywooyeah

Toni.benne wrote: »

I haven't I have paper work from court about what he did to me and the out come of that. I suppose I can mention it and that's why I would prefer them not to contact him

Although the history of domestic abuse and his criminal offences will be relevant in so far as explaining the background of the matter as to why there has been no contact between the father and the child for so long, it will not have any bearing on your ex-partner needing to be informed of the proceedings nor having the right to contest them.

You can file a separate C8 application with the C100 which keeps your contact details confidential and known only to the Court, however make sure you also leave your contact details off the C100.

Toni.benne wrote: »

I did try contact him regarding the name change and I couldn't find him!! How can I contact someone if I don't know where they are and it needed changing as she had another surname to the rest of the family I thought her having my surname would make things easier and it had until passport situation

There is a requirement that mediation and negotiation takes place prior to filing a Court application. You can claim an exemption from mediation owing to the domestic abuse, but you need to have documentary evidence of this. If you are not able to trace your ex-partner then you can explain this on the C100 to explain to the Court why negotiation has not been possible.

You mentioned that you had an appointment with someone but I didn't see whether you mentioned the name of the service. I presume it may have been the PSU at the Court who can offer some advice and support.

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The paramount consideration of the Court is the welfare and best interests of your child and this will be the premise of reaching a decision as to whether to make a Court Order causing your child to be legally known by the surname you have already changed by deed.

The Court will be critical that you changed your daughter's name without your ex's knowledge or consent, but ultimately as the child has been known by this name for 7 years plus she will have formed an identity around this and changing it back or to another surname is likely to cause her confusion and unsettle her.

Your daughter is old enough for her wishes and feelings to be expressed and given weight to as well in the event that your ex-partner contests the application. All in all though based on what you have said I think you have good prospects of obtaining a Specific Issue Order for her surname to remain to that you have chosen simply as she has been known by that name for so long. The Court likes to uphold a child's status quo wherever possible.

You also need to be aware that filing this application may open a can of worms by causing your ex-partner to now seek contact with your daughter too and the Court can deal with the issue of contact of its own volition (e.g. without the need for your ex to formally file a separate application, although that would technically be the correct procedure) so what you think may be a simple application could turn into a lengthy set of proceedings.