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  • FIRST POST
    • 117pauline
    • By 117pauline 4th Dec 17, 4:00 PM
    • 651Posts
    • 7,236Thanks
    117pauline
    Mindful or Mind full?
    • #1
    • 4th Dec 17, 4:00 PM
    Mindful or Mind full? 4th Dec 17 at 4:00 PM
    So....... life appears to have changed today!

    I came downstairs to a letter from my partner saying he needed time away. After 11 plus years. Not sure how I feel.

    At the moment I need to get a job. Not as easy as that sounds as I have quite a problem leaving the house at all. I am waiting to get to the top of the list for some CBT help. I also have some chronic conditions too which have hindered our relationship.

    As you can imagine, I am not sure what will happen. My plan is to do nothing rash but try to pay down my loan as much as possible. Then I am going to have to find somewhere to live etc.

    I did say I was going to start a diary so I think this is one hell of a way to get started!

    Pauline
    Don't get it perfect - Get it going
    Better Than Before
Page 1
    • DebtFreeDuo
    • By DebtFreeDuo 4th Dec 17, 4:06 PM
    • 814 Posts
    • 4,174 Thanks
    DebtFreeDuo
    • #2
    • 4th Dec 17, 4:06 PM
    • #2
    • 4th Dec 17, 4:06 PM
    Oh Pauline I'm very happy to see a diary from you but I am so sorry for the circumstances that led to you doing so. I will be cheering you along massively along with (I'm sure) a lot of others. I feel you are extremely important around here and it wouldn't be the same without you around.

    Small steps, one day at a time. We are all here for support and for any advice you may need.
    Debt free by Christmas 2018 #004: 2565.82/7445.69
    £2018 in 2018 #25: 674.21/2018
    SPC 586
    • UncannyScot
    • By UncannyScot 4th Dec 17, 4:14 PM
    • 1,417 Posts
    • 7,955 Thanks
    UncannyScot
    • #3
    • 4th Dec 17, 4:14 PM
    • #3
    • 4th Dec 17, 4:14 PM
    Hi 117Pauline

    As above, really sorry about the circumstances...

    We will help, advise and support you on here
    BUGGRITMILLENIUMHANDANDSHRIMP I TOLD EM! - Foul Ole Ron
    It is important that we know where we come from, because if you do not know where you come from, then you do not know where you are, and if you don't know where you are, then you don't know where you are going. If you don't know where you're going, you're probably going wrong.
    R.I.P. T.P.
    • 117pauline
    • By 117pauline 4th Dec 17, 4:18 PM
    • 651 Posts
    • 7,236 Thanks
    117pauline
    • #4
    • 4th Dec 17, 4:18 PM
    • #4
    • 4th Dec 17, 4:18 PM
    So the plans for the week
    • go out every day
    • eat properly - good food, regularly
    • polish the CV
    • do as many surveys as possible
    • be mindful. Start mindfulness meditation each day

    Nothing too dramatic, got to get back into the world!
    Don't get it perfect - Get it going
    Better Than Before
    • Seasidegal58
    • By Seasidegal58 4th Dec 17, 4:20 PM
    • 1,942 Posts
    • 11,872 Thanks
    Seasidegal58
    • #5
    • 4th Dec 17, 4:20 PM
    • #5
    • 4th Dec 17, 4:20 PM
    I’m so very sorry Pauline that you have had to begin your diary with such news. I remember you posting that you were thinking of starting a diary and I was looking forward to reading it as you are a wonderful, insightful writer. I do hope that you and your OH can work things out but as debtfreeduo has said, we will be here for support.

    SSG x
    Finally Debt Free! - July 2016
    Finished Emergency Fund- £10,000 April 2017

    Next Scrimpy Goal - Ad Hoc Savings - 20/05/2018: £646.59
    MONTHS TO RETIREMENT: 35!
    My diary: “Paid off the £31,0000! BUT- still scrimping!”
    • redofromstart
    • By redofromstart 4th Dec 17, 6:47 PM
    • 1,686 Posts
    • 10,124 Thanks
    redofromstart
    • #6
    • 4th Dec 17, 6:47 PM
    • #6
    • 4th Dec 17, 6:47 PM
    Oh Pauline, I was so pleased to see you had started a diary, but like you say, what a way to start. I hope everything works out the way you want it to.

    I did some online work from home (aka tedious) some info on the money shed website here

    Leapforce/Lionbridge/Appen are the three companies I am aware of.
    • Cumbria lass
    • By Cumbria lass 4th Dec 17, 7:20 PM
    • 1,813 Posts
    • 10,935 Thanks
    Cumbria lass
    • #7
    • 4th Dec 17, 7:20 PM
    • #7
    • 4th Dec 17, 7:20 PM
    Pauline so glad you have started your diary , but wish the circumstances were different. We will all be here to help you .
    CC1 £3475 May 2018
    • Tea&Kittens
    • By Tea&Kittens 4th Dec 17, 7:20 PM
    • 195 Posts
    • 730 Thanks
    Tea&Kittens
    • #8
    • 4th Dec 17, 7:20 PM
    • #8
    • 4th Dec 17, 7:20 PM
    Hi Pauline
    Sorry to hear about the circumstances for you having to start your diary. I'll be following your journey.
    Make sure you look after yourself, some lovely advice already given here x
    #Frugal February : NSDs Target =16
    Started here on 07 September 2017: Total: £20,521 £19847
    Barclaycard: £14659 £14435 Oct 2017 HSBC Credit Card : £3112 £3012 Oct 2017
    Overdraft: 350 £0 Oct2017 MBNA : 2400
    A journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step. I'm on my way!
    • HairyHandofDartmoor
    • By HairyHandofDartmoor 4th Dec 17, 7:27 PM
    • 4,188 Posts
    • 28,561 Thanks
    HairyHandofDartmoor
    • #9
    • 4th Dec 17, 7:27 PM
    • #9
    • 4th Dec 17, 7:27 PM
    Oh Pauline I'm so sorry to hear your news. You must feel so shocked and adrift .

    I hope your OH and you can resolve things eventually. Either way we will do our best to support you.

    I'm so pleased you've started a diary so that we can help you with practical advice and emotional support. Xx
    My Diary http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5716867
    Debt in July 2017 = £58,766 DEBT FREE 31 OCTOBER 2017
    NEW GOALS - Build Emergency Fund & Loss of Income Fund. Save for house repairs.
    Emergency Fund 1 = £560.59/Emergency Fund 2 = £0.21/Loss of Income Fund £0
    • 117pauline
    • By 117pauline 4th Dec 17, 8:31 PM
    • 651 Posts
    • 7,236 Thanks
    117pauline
    Thanks everyone

    I have been out today and eaten so that's a good start. Done a few surveys and had numerous cups of tea.

    It will be fine I know. I have decided that I have to minimise my expenses so my ninja money saving skills will have to come to the fore.

    I am going to keep to a simplified plan this week.

    As you can imagine I am a bit up and down at the moment.

    Back tomorrow with a better plan

    Thanks for the good wishes, it really helps
    Pauline
    Don't get it perfect - Get it going
    Better Than Before
    • HairyHandofDartmoor
    • By HairyHandofDartmoor 4th Dec 17, 9:46 PM
    • 4,188 Posts
    • 28,561 Thanks
    HairyHandofDartmoor
    Keep posting Pauline and remember that you can do this. Whatever life throws at you you can handle it. X
    My Diary http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5716867
    Debt in July 2017 = £58,766 DEBT FREE 31 OCTOBER 2017
    NEW GOALS - Build Emergency Fund & Loss of Income Fund. Save for house repairs.
    Emergency Fund 1 = £560.59/Emergency Fund 2 = £0.21/Loss of Income Fund £0
    • redofromstart
    • By redofromstart 5th Dec 17, 8:58 AM
    • 1,686 Posts
    • 10,124 Thanks
    redofromstart
    How you are feeling this morning Pauline?
    • beanielou
    • By beanielou 5th Dec 17, 11:18 AM
    • 54,122 Posts
    • 214,708 Thanks
    beanielou
    Oh Pauline I'm so sorry to hear your news. You must feel so shocked and adrift .

    I hope your OH and you can resolve things eventually. Either way we will do our best to support you.

    I'm so pleased you've started a diary so that we can help you with practical advice and emotional support. Xx
    Originally posted by HairyHandofDartmoor
    Seconded by me.
    Be kind to yourself. xx
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** **Weight loss 2 stone 11 lbs **

    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.***
    ***Keep plodding***
    Out of debt, out of danger.
    • jwil
    • By jwil 5th Dec 17, 12:27 PM
    • 8,527 Posts
    • 26,098 Thanks
    jwil
    Good luck with it all, what a shock xx
    "If you can dream it, you can do it". Walt Disney
    • fay66
    • By fay66 5th Dec 17, 1:39 PM
    • 737 Posts
    • 2,051 Thanks
    fay66
    Afternoon Pauline sorry to hear your newsx
    Inland revenue £4500=
    Loan £2610/1988
    Pay day loans -1400 1st pay 16 march £50
    Credit card 1 -5100/4850 int froze
    CC2 -978
    CC3 - 500/548 cc4 165/200
    • edwink
    • By edwink 5th Dec 17, 2:09 PM
    • 1,876 Posts
    • 12,471 Thanks
    edwink
    Just wanted to wish you all the best 117Pauline. You sound positive which is a good start.

    Edwink x
    3.36 kWp system, 10 x Ultima & 4 x Panasonic solar panels, Solar Edge Inverter
    7 ducks ~ 7 hens ~ 1 handsome Cockerel
    2000ltr Rainwater harvesting system for loo flushing Hybrid Toyota Auris car

    Hens & ducks chat thread
    http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5282209
    • Freedom beckons
    • By Freedom beckons 5th Dec 17, 4:32 PM
    • 10 Posts
    • 86 Thanks
    Freedom beckons
    I too have had a week from hell which made me resign. But you will come through.... I promise yesterdays chip papers n all that. That is what I have to believe... You will be okay xx
    • 117pauline
    • By 117pauline 5th Dec 17, 9:49 PM
    • 651 Posts
    • 7,236 Thanks
    117pauline
    Day 2
    Hi there

    Thanks everyone for your good wishes, they are much appreciated.

    I have been out twice today, done a bit in the garden, fed birds, eaten properly (no chocolate), done about 12 surveys and found my CV.

    Also I have watched Despicable Me which I have never seen. Perhaps not quite what I should be doing but I needed the escapism.

    There is quite a bit of displacement activity going on however I am OK. Not brilliant but determined. I have purposefully not contacted him and you know what? I am OK.

    So I am a work in progress, bit battered but feeling excited at the new chapter about to begin.

    Take care everyone
    Pauline
    Don't get it perfect - Get it going
    Better Than Before
    • HairyHandofDartmoor
    • By HairyHandofDartmoor 5th Dec 17, 9:53 PM
    • 4,188 Posts
    • 28,561 Thanks
    HairyHandofDartmoor
    Displacement is fine Pauline because you need to take care of yourself. You've also done some useful and practical stuff like finding your CV, so that is a good mix of activities .

    And well done for going out .
    My Diary http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5716867
    Debt in July 2017 = £58,766 DEBT FREE 31 OCTOBER 2017
    NEW GOALS - Build Emergency Fund & Loss of Income Fund. Save for house repairs.
    Emergency Fund 1 = £560.59/Emergency Fund 2 = £0.21/Loss of Income Fund £0
    • Honeysucklelou2
    • By Honeysucklelou2 5th Dec 17, 11:44 PM
    • 838 Posts
    • 3,349 Thanks
    Honeysucklelou2
    Well done for getting out. Feeding the birds and pottering around the garden are great things to do as they make you appreciate the natural world around.

    Sorry that you are going through such a tough time...thinking of you.
    paydbx #93 £692/£8,000.
    Loan £17k - paid off in Aug 2017. Home improvement loans £3342 March 2017. £3123 in Jan 18
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