How open are you about your debts?

chester81 · 18 October 2015 at 11:17AM

One of the things I am learning through this process is that people have such a taboo attitude to debt. I keep our debt a secret from our nearest and dearest. If anyone asked if I had any debt I would probably say that I had a bit on a CC and perhaps a loan but nothing major when in fact I am servicing debts of 40K (joint)

I have been able to speak more openly to a couple of people I trust. It turned out that they are also dealing with significant debts. This makes me wonder just how many of our friends, family and colleagues are also dealing with big debts that they keep secret. I accept that in reality it's nobody else's business and that keeping it secret is their prerogative, however I wonder how much easier it would be if we were all more open about it all.

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So, my Sunday morning questions is... who knows about your true debt level???

HappyMJ · 18 October 2015 at 11:26AM

Just me. My partner has an idea but only I actually know the exact £ amount outstanding at any point in time. We have no joint debts.

andyfromotley · 18 October 2015 at 1:14PM

Quite a few people know i am working my socks off to get out of debt and that its more than a few hundred quid. I doubt anyone knows the actual amount although i'd tell them if they asked. (although i would make a mental note that they had acted in a distinctly un-british way!!)

I guess antone who knows me and hangs around on here would work it out instantly from my posts that it was me.

Not proud of my debt, but not ashamed about it either.

sourcrates · 18 October 2015 at 1:28PM

I would recon most people harbour debt of some kind, seems to be the way we live these days, however talking about it, in my experience, is quiet rare, just going on my own circle of friends, they never talk about debt, or money troubles, at all, although its a pretty sure bet they will have some.

Your right in that lots of people seem to view it as a taboo subject, which is one reason they end up in such a mess sometimes, as they don't know where to turn, for help and guidance.

I always try to promote this site, and this forum in particular, I put links up on my Facebook page, and I post about debt solutions from time to time, whether anyone actually reads them, is a different matter altogether, I`d hope some do.

Judging by a lot of 1st time posters on here, knowledge is sadly lacking, still, on what creditors can and cant do, the debt collection process in particular, and what your rights are, it never gets talked about openly, and it should.
I personally think this should be taught in school, how to deal with credit, and debt, skills for living in general, because unless you do your own research, then no one else will tell you these things.

The more people discuss a subject, the less of a taboo it becomes, hopefully that would equal less people getting into serious debt, they cant repay, in the first place.

Puzzcat · 18 October 2015 at 3:25PM

Just me, myself and I...and all of mse of course! I am happy to talk about debt and ways to help sort it but only I know about the level of mine...My partner knows I have debt and am paying it off but not the amount. Maybe when it is paid off I will enlighten my loved one's..

AspiringButAnxious · 18 October 2015 at 4:04PM

My parents know the truth exact anount, because they took out a loan on my behalf (I couldn't get one to cover my CC balance, let alone what I already owed my parents, and it saves me several hundred pounds of interest per year). My friends know I'm in a lot of debt and I think I've mentioned the precise amounts to most of them.

I'm not ashamed of my debt anymore because I have faced up to it and am paying it off. The reasons for my debt are also a little complex (if that's not a contradiction!): I borrowed £3,600 for MA tuition, ran up more expenses during my MA (books and travel), impulse bought things due to my mental health issues, didn't keep a close eye on my spending, went from size 26 to 18 and needed new clothes, had a terrible attitude of bunging stuff on the CC because the balance was so high it "wouldn't make much difference", clung to a fantasy of my mental health improving enough to get a normal job for far too long, struggled to keep my car on the road because it was one of the few things that offered me a little independence, my dog died suddenly and I wanted another ASAP because it helps my depression... I still kick myself over some of these reasons, but others make sense — the MA course doubled the year after I studied and I wouldn't have been eligible for a £1000 scholarship I received. I don't care who knows about my debt or the reasons for it: the only people who matter understand and anyone who doesn't understand doesn't matter!

timefortea · 18 October 2015 at 7:21PM

No one knows I'm in any debt at all. I'm embarrassed about it, because I don't even know how I ran up the debt. It was just overspending on silly things that I didn't need. Compounding the embarrassment is that I work in a finance office at a university. I don't advise anyone, but I definitely should have known better. Now that I've seen the light I can comfortably pay it off by this coming January, if not December, so I don't need to tell anyone. (I'm single, by the way, so I'm responsible for my own finances. I'm not hiding it from a partner or anything. The only person I feel like I'm keeping it a secret from is my mum. My brother is constantly in debt and getting himself into trouble with money, and she's bailed him out over and over, he owes her thousands, so I don't want to be a disappointment.)

theoretica · 18 October 2015 at 8:27PM

Everyone I can think of who has mentioned to me they are in debt has done so accompanied by a 'good' reason they are in debt such as student debt, maternity leave, unemployment, moving house or major holiday. Sometimes this clearly isn't the only reason, but it does seem to reduce embarrassment.

Larac · 18 October 2015 at 10:22PM

Have to say its only me and Stepchange who know my debt. At it worse it was eye watering £65K and now down around £30K. I will clear it in the next 2/3 years - took along while to build it up and will take along while to shift - but will get there. I can't possibly burden my children or aged Mother with this as just would worry them. I have learnt a very harsh lesson. I think there are lots with hidden debts and is subject that is taboo - busy getting this down, which how I best deal with it.

selloptape · 18 October 2015 at 10:45PM

I was on the flip side of this, my DS's father hid debts from me. I suspected something was wrong as he never seemed to have money but I thought it was just a struggle to budget. I wish he'd been honest with me about everything but I don't think he was ready to admit it to himself

nicnacnoo · 18 October 2015 at 10:59PM

Everyone apart from my mam (who could bail me out in a second) knows about my debt, Im a single parent and my kids suffer for the debt I got myself into before they were even here. I hate that I cant give them all the things they want.
I seem to just be wading through life...dont get me wrong my kids dont suffer and im good at finding free/cheap things to do but If I could just go back to when I got that car on HP....!

How open are you about your debts?

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