Diary of a "Frugal Saver"

WantToBeSE · 6 October 2012 at 11:31AM

Hi FS.

i am single at the moment, but i remember when i was in a relationship with my (now ex) long term partner, when the kids were little. Its certainly harder to control spending and finances if you dont have someone on board who has the same mentality as you.

Does your OH know the ins and outs of the finances? Does he know how much debt/income/expenses you have coming in and out out the household? Do you think it may be worthwhile sitting him down and showing it all to him, so that he understands it more?

Sorry to hear its a struggle, i wish i had some wise words to help you.x.

Frugal_Saver · 6 October 2012 at 11:40AM

Thanks, I have tried. I thought I had a break through last month when I finally got him to open a joint account with me but that's just for the bills it doesn't include food shopping. His mentality is if you want something whether that be food/clothes/a night out you should just do buy it/do it and pay for it later.

I think I can talk him around, we have been recently talking about having children and he agrees with me that we shouldn't be in so much debt before we start trying but he wont commit to doing anything. Our debts aren't massive but I could see them getting worse if we stuck to the lifestyle [STRIKE]we[/STRIKE] he currently leads.

Mockingjay · 6 October 2012 at 12:23PM

You may need to toughen up. Say you have budget £XX for food & if he wishes to spend more he'll have to cover it. It'll be hard but worth it in the long run! Good luck!

Frugal_Saver · 6 October 2012 at 2:01PM

Yeah, I think that's what I'll have to do, just need to find the right moment to speak to him about it.

Had a letter from Lloyds today confirming they'd received my PPI claim, I hope it won't be too long before they make their decision. Worked out it should be about £400.

Scuff · 6 October 2012 at 2:31PM

Could you somehow do like a trial week / fortnight / month, like say this is what's for tea today just bear with me etc, and then show him the benefits at the end of the time?? We were spending around £400 (+) a month on food alone, throwing loads out (there's only the 2 of us) and not even realising, on top of that there were the takeaways, quick bought pizzas when we couldnt be bothered etc. We're not perfect now (although I will admit it's easier for me cos we agreed to do the meal plans together - it might have even been his idea?) but we average about £40 a week and a lot of the time that includes wine too (3 for a tenner yes please!) It makes a massive difference to the account, plus you don't have to go to the effort of thinking when you get in from work :rotfl:

Good luck with the PPI! x

digging · 6 October 2012 at 2:34PM

Mockingjay wrote: »

You may need to toughen up. Say you have budget £XX for food & if he wishes to spend more he'll have to cover it. It'll be hard but worth it in the long run! Good luck!

That's what I did. I deal with the budgets and bills in my house and I got to the point where I said to my OH 'I've not budgeted for pringles so if you want it you'll have to give me £1.50'. At first it was attitude... 'FINE it's only £1.50! I'll pay for it'. Same with pizza, crisps, wine etc... I've worn him down (like a good girlfriend:D) and now he excepts it or just adds to the trolley and hands me money. He has even started to choose the cheaper versions and supermarket own brands now that he realises how much these extra little bits add up.

Good luck with it.

kazyyy · 6 October 2012 at 3:34PM

Good luck, I have subscribed xxx

Mockingjay · 6 October 2012 at 6:13PM

digging wrote: »

That's what I did. I deal with the budgets and bills in my house and I got to the point where I said to my OH 'I've not budgeted for pringles so if you want it you'll have to give me £1.50'. At first it was attitude... 'FINE it's only £1.50! I'll pay for it'. Same with pizza, crisps, wine etc... I've worn him down (like a good girlfriend:D) and now he excepts it or just adds to the trolley and hands me money. He has even started to choose the cheaper versions and supermarket own brands now that he realises how much these extra little bits add up.

Good luck with it.

Exactly! Weirdly I have been in your boyfriend's position. My BF is great with money and he's made it clear that if I want something extravagant then I pay for it and I have been. Hence the debt! And it's 100% my fault.

Your OH needs to learn and that will happen in his own time but in the meantime you can't afford to get into more debt. Be strong!!

*Robin* · 6 October 2012 at 7:23PM

Frugal_Saver wrote: »

Had a letter from Lloyds today confirming they'd received my PPI claim, I hope it won't be too long before they make their decision. Worked out it should be about £400.

Hello Frugal Saver, :wave:

I will be interested to hear how you get on with this - the same bank have just knocked back my claim despite my not having kept the fact that I was self-employed secret, so their staff should have known that the policy would never be of use to me.

As for the meal planning, would it work for your partner if you did it weekly rather than daily? What I mean is, buy enough ingredients for seven portions each of protein, seven veg, salad, a bag of spuds, rice & pasta, and fruit - and choose a selection to combine each day?

Frugal_Saver · 6 October 2012 at 9:14PM

What is wrong with me, thats twice now I've written a post and accidentially clicked a button and cleared everything.

Made progress with OH this evening, he's willing to go along with my money saving plans so long as I don't go on about it all the time.

I think I'm going to do a big shop just after pay day next month and get enought meat and store cupboard food to last the month so I just need to top up with fruit & veg etc which is easy as I pass Aldi on the way home everyday. Just need to remember to take meat out of the fridge before going to work and tell OH he needs to make do!

I have two PPI claims with Lloyds TSB. One for a loan and one CC. The CC they gave me when I'd just graduated and was working part time in a pub. The loan I've complained that they were really pushy with the sale, I cancelled it after about 10 months anyway when I got some advice that I didn't necessarily need to take it out with them.

Not spent any money today but will probably be joining OH down the pub in a bit. Hoping for NSD tomorrow unless I pop out to buy some vegetables to go with dinner.

Put some DVDs on ebay earlier. Also dug out a few handbags I've hardly used ready to put them on as well, that will involve a bit more effort and I think I'm going to wait for a weekend where there's no insertion fees because I wouldn't want them to go for 99p.

Diary of a "Frugal Saver"

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