Sadly too late for me

Please read this post not as a cry for help - it isn’t - but a warning for people getting into debt.

I owe just over £12,000 in credit card debts.
Please do not judge me.

When my parents passed away I became depressed, and still am. When I get depressed I spend money, money I don’t have on credit cards and for a few hours I feel excited looking forward to the delivery which is more often than not, presents for others.

I never miss a payment, and don’t have a bad credit score, but can only afford the minimum payment. When I am given a credit limit increase I just think of who I can make happy with a present, and also use the credit cards to pay off each other.
Yes, I know all of this is stupid, but please tell the other side of me that which says “don’t worry, it will sort itself out”.
I can’t get a loan as the negative on my credit score is that I use more than 50% of my available credit.

On Friday I received an E-mail from Capital One (who I owe £1979 to), saying ...

‘Dear Martin,
We've noticed that over the last 18 months, a bigger portion of what you paid back on your credit card went towards interest, fees and charges than to paying off what you borrowed.
It means new rules apply to you. Our regulator (the FCA) has introduced them to protect anyone in this situation getting into difficulty with long-term borrowing on credit cards. It's called persistent debt and it can happen when monthly repayments stay low for a long time.
The fix is to pay more each month
Boosting how much you repay each month now could help you avoid some of the steps we have to take later. (More on that below.) The bigger your payments, the faster you pay back what you've borrowed, costing you less in interest. To help, we've done the maths.
It'll save you money
Let's use your current balance of £1979.59 as an example.
If you fix your payment at £106* every month from now on, you could pay 84% less interest than if you make the minimum payment. You'd pay off your card 12 times faster too.

Here's how to do it
If you pay by Direct Debit
Increase your monthly amount. You can view and edit your Direct Debit in your Capital One app It's free to download if you don't already have it. Otherwise give us a call.

If you pay by debit card, or another way
Make your monthly payments bigger when you pay via your app, phone or online account. You can make extra payments at any time too.
Sign in to manage payments
Better to sort it sooner rather than later
If your payments aren't high enough to change your situation in the next 18 months, we'll be back in touch. We'll offer ways for you to repay quicker, over a reasonable period. It'd be important for you to take action from there because we might have to suspend your card if you don't. Making low repayments for long periods can hurt your credit file.

Importantly, you'd be on the path out of persistent debt, because you'd be paying back a bigger chunk of what you'd borrowed.’

I cannot pay off more, Capital One won’t lower the interest, my situation of paying minimum payments won’t change in the next 18 months, and I know that if they are sending this, others will follow.

I won’t spend anything else on the cards, but they still want extra money.
Yes, I could give it to them and pay no one else.
(I don’t have anyone I could ask to help me by the way)

My point of this, and please no sympathy or pity, the only way for me is to look for ways to end my life, which hopefully will be sooner rather than later once I find a home for my dog.
That might seem tragic or shocking to some, but it would be a way of no longer having to dread waking up and putting false smiles on.

This new rule from the FCA will put others in the same position as mine I am sure, so please if you can, reduce your debts by trying to get the help you need before it is too late. For me it is.
Thankyou for reading this.