The Garden Fence - proper Old Style support and chat!

nursemaggie · 11 April 2018 at 3:05PM

silver-oldie Try not to think of things. They cannot expect you to pay for your mother. Please stop worrying, you cannot guess so why bother. Worrying will make no difference. It will change nothing. Chances you are totally wrong. If you have other thoughts not all of them can be true. Please don't keep thinking things up because that is all it is, thinking and worrying about what you just made up.

Even if it was anything like you imagine the powers that be would take your own circumstances into consideration. Don't offer to pay!

Floss · 11 April 2018 at 3:15PM

Silver oldie Have a look at this link: Age UK but bear in mind it assumes that "you" is the person needing care, not their next-of-kin

nursemaggie · 11 April 2018 at 3:31PM

silver-oldie I have had a quick glance at the information floss has sent you and reading what you have done I think as far as money is concerned your mother will probably never have to pay if the NHS are paying. Local authorities will have no responsibility in this.Once the NHS start paying they have to keep on paying.

Bartok · 11 April 2018 at 4:11PM

Hi Zippychick,

I'm new to this, where can I find more info on the Northern Ireland Board?

Thanks

silver-oldie · 11 April 2018 at 5:08PM

nursemaggie wrote: »

silver-oldie Try not to think of things. They cannot expect you to pay for your mother. Please stop worrying, you cannot guess so why bother. Worrying will make no difference. It will change nothing. Chances you are totally wrong. If you have other thoughts not all of them can be true. Please don't keep thinking things up because that is all it is, thinking and worrying about what you just made up.

Even if it was anything like you imagine the powers that be would take your own circumstances into consideration. Don't offer to pay!

I'm know you are right, I cannot guess.
I don't sleep well, can't stop all these thoughts. Need an off switch for my brain/thoughts.

LameWolf · 11 April 2018 at 5:19PM

FairyPrincessk wrote: »

I was once bemoaning to a colleague why other people's students all seemed to come to me with their problems (I don't mind helping, but it be nice to share the load more equally). I asked what it was about me.. She just laughed and said "You look like you get sh*t done."

This is a bit like so many local dog owners ask me what to do about this or that problem with their pooch.... For goodness sake, I'm a dog-sitter, not a vet!! I must've spent about 10 minutes the other day explaining to a lady in the next close that if she wants her overweight Yorkie to slim down, she has to feed sensible portions at mealtime, and ignore all begging. I mean... why ask me? It's not as if I come across as a particularly friendly person. *insert shruggy emoji*

monnagran wrote: »

LW, no need to endure 10 dog less days. Very large, smelly mutt will be posted to you immediately. Said mutt is at this very moment stretched out alongside me on my bed. No need for any instructions, she will give you a sharp prod with her paw to let you know if you are failing to attend to her every need.

Ooh, YES PLEASE!!!!! :T:T:T

silvasava wrote: »

Just had a mental image of you astride a tiger Hester, cracking your whip!!

Oh dear, that's one image I shall now me unable to dislodge from my mind. :rotfl:

Silver Oldie (((HUGS))) from one worry-guts to another.

pollyanna_26 · 11 April 2018 at 5:55PM

Bartok wrote: »

Hi Zippychick,

I'm new to this, where can I find more info on the Northern Ireland Board?

Thanks

If you go to the main forum page and go down to the Who and Where you are section you'll see the Local Money Saving section just click on N Ireland .

silver-oldie It isn't easy but I eventually found it useful to think of the Serenity prayer , not really into organised religion but the serenity to accept the things I cannot change . The courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference " is good to bear in mind for things great and small .

Also agree with Kittie and others about phoning and asking what is to be discussed . I always phone now if it isn't clear what is to be discussed hence my mention to ivyleaf of thinking " Just do it "
It isn't worth losing sleep over the unknown . Tossing and turning will wear you down . It took me years to figure it out but I'm glad I did .

Wolfy as you're here I'll be thinking of you both and sending the promised lavender wafts your way tomorrow . Hope all is well .

Well dear fencers polly is spoonless and mse are playing up when i try to log in . So NM I hope you and your son have good news soon . Too many appts this week and flares for us both .
Love and gentle hugs to all . Hopefully I'll be back by the weekend .
Take care all and be good especially Mar !

polly x

Hard_Up_Hester · 11 April 2018 at 7:52PM

I can just see myself on the back of a tiger!
DD was able to finish at 3 so I was relieved of childcare duties 2 hours early, still knackered though, Tuesday morning is the next time I'm needed, I should have recovered by then.
Tomorrow I have to do some shopping for CHS but then it will be feet up for a couple of hours.
I burnt a handful of sage this evening and will do the same tomorrow. I shall watch Endeavour later and do some crochet before I go to bed, 5:30 start every day this week but a lie in on Friday as CHS has the day off
Karcher are you ok?
Nice to see you Ginny.

monnagran · 11 April 2018 at 8:59PM

SO, If you are a worried, then you are a worrier. There's nowt anyone can do about that, even you. Especially you.
Just remember when you go into any meeting about your mother that YOU are the expert there. You know her and her circumstances much better than they will ever do. Also, you don't have to meet them on their expectations, they have to meet you on yours.
Don't answer any question too quickly. Just say quietly, "What exactly are you asking me here?" or "So what are you trying to say?" and if you don't know how to respond simply say that you will have to discuss it with someone else and will come back to them.
Dear SO, you are NOT responsible for all your mother's troubles and it would do no harm to say so. Hopefully this will all be over a quite minor matter but if not you are in the driving seat. No one can make you do anything you are not comfortable with.

Just imagine when you are at your most nervous that all your friends here are gathered round you, we are pretty fearsome when roused. Ask mar's consultant heifer. We will all be thinking of you, you will feel the vibes.

Polly, sorry you are having problems still. Hope you get it sorted out. We can't do without you.

I am absolutely cream crackered tonight. I'm in bed already and Millie can't understand why I don't want to play tug o' war with her toy monkey. Thankfully tomorrow won't be quite so exhausting.

Goodnight all.

Softstuff · 11 April 2018 at 9:28PM

Maybe you should have taken Millie to the post office already since Lamewolf was so eager? Or had Millie eaten all the stamps?

Silver-oldie, I know it's playing on your mind, but if it is financial issues they want to talk to you about, you are not responsible for paying for that. It's something that's kept me awake from time to time, knowing what my mother is like and I'd already investigated that thoroughly. You're not responsible for her ongoing keep or any debts she might accrue, her estate (any small savings) she has, is.

Love to all who need it xx

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The Garden Fence - proper Old Style support and chat!

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