Mooloo’s Managing it in 2018

Mooloo wrote: »

He's ignoring me completely at the moment

Probably because he knows that he won't want to hear what you have to say :-( Typical male behaviour, I'm afraid ....and I say this as the mother of three sons, widow of a stubborn darling *!**!z of a man.

But that doesn't help you at all, dear Mooloo - we share your frustration, your desire to knock some sense into his head, etc etc etc. Just "say nowt" - not even to Biggest - just vent here for the time being - I would advocate keeping close to his ex - you know the saying "keep your friends close and your enemies closer" - make no comment about him, just play with the babies and listen.

Thinking of you xxx

I often read but have ever posted before, but your DS is soo like my cousin (38), and ironically his mother a successful alterations shop for thirty years, selling at Christmas 2017 for a well deserved retirement.

My cousin has been in trouble with the law, has a drug, gambling problem. He failed all his GCSEs, I'm not sure if he has learning difficulties, certainly never diagnosed in any case. Has never had a serious relationship, has no children, his life revolves around smoking cannabis, and the pub. He has a council flat in a pretty grotty area (how has he kept it? well he works for the council and they deduct the rent from his pay before he receives it.)

The main different between him and your DS is a work ethic, he gets up to start work at 5am come rain or shine, his flat is immaculate, he's a practical sort and is forever redecorating. He's worked for his current employer for over ten years. He can cook. He's the sort whose wage would be spent within a day but then he'd go without for 28 days before getting paid. He also probably needs drug and debt counselling but he's fully functioning really.

I really believe DS needs a focus be it work or a relationship. Unfortunately in his current state he's not really a catch for the sort of person who could really turn his life around.

My cousin's mother despairs with him too, she's very successful as was a single parent, when it wasn't really the done thing. Built her business from scratch as it was the only skill she had. She worked for years from her unconverted loft in a tiny two bed house. When she retired she owned two properties paid for from her business. She's a long way from a millionaire but she's comfortable.

The main difference; she did the sewing herself and had no overheads. Don't continue to pay others over yourself, be it a landlord or employees, as you are beginning to realise it doesn't work. She tried hat making, wedding dress making over the years but in the end her main bulk was alterations. Trousers and jackets mostly. She had arrangements with high end shops who have an alterations service, she would go and collect the items and take them back, this was the main bulk of her business. Could you do similar?

Eager_Elephant wrote: »

i think your comment is a tad unfair.

People who have family and friend support still kill themselves, you are aimplying that DS would only do that if Mooloo doesnt support him and that is incorrect.

No matter how much love and support people get sometimes it is just not enough.

In no way should Mooloo feel guilty about anything - she has done enough to help him over the years and especially last year when she ended up on debt om her credit cards as she paid the bailiff for their debts.

I was implying no such thing.Yes,sadly sometimes love and support is not enough.
Yes Mooloo has done lots for all her children as do many parents and I did state I did not mean financial help.